The Shepherds
by xxLittle Black Dressxx
Summary: After their divorce, Addison tells an angry Derek that her decision to keep his last name is strictly professional. But they soon find out that the lines between personal and professional are easily blurred.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hey everyone! I'm back with a new Addek chapter story. This story is set shortly after Addison and Derek's divorce. I hope you like it! Thanks for reading!

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_**The Shepherds**_

"Hey, Derek," Addison called out, quickening her pace to walk alongside the man who, up until a couple of weeks ago, had been her husband. "I need you for a consult."

Derek nodded. "Sure."

"Thanks," Addison smiled. "The patient's files are in my office. I could grab them quickly, or-"

"I'll just go with you," Derek offered.

"Okay," Addison agreed, as they made their way towards her office together.

"Hey, you know what I like?" Derek asked, as he and Addison approached Addison's office. "I like that we're civilized. We're these adult, grown-up people, who can be divorced and be friendly. We deserve a medal."

Addison nodded halfheartedly, as she removed her keys from the pocket of her lab coat. She understood that Derek was excited about rebuilding his relationship with Meredith, but his new bright and shiny attitude was starting to wear her down. The ink on their divorce papers had barely dried, and she wasn't finished mourning the breakdown of her marriage. She wasn't ready for bright and shiny.

As Addison opened the door to her office, Derek's eyes landed on the nameplate on the office door: _Addison Montgomery Shepherd MD_.

"You need to get a new nameplate for your door," Derek muttered to his ex-wife, who was going through her file cabinet, looking for her patient's file.

"And your desk," he added, picking up the fancy, metal _Addison Montgomery Shepherd MD_ nameplate from her desk, and placing it back down.

Addison turned to look at him. "Why's that?" she asked.

"Because it's not your name anymore," Derek explained slowly, as if he were talking to a two-year-old, and not to a world-class surgeon.

"It's not my legal name anymore," Addison corrected him, doing her best to ignore how painful those words felt coming out of her mouth. "But, professionally, I'm keeping it."

Derek's eyes widened in surprise. "Wh-why would you do that?" he stammered.

Addison sighed. "You and I may not be married anymore, Derek. But I made my professional name under Addison Shepherd. I've published under that name. The medical community knows me by that name. Patients know me by that name. So, I'm keeping it. It's nothing personal."

"It feels personal to me," Derek insisted angrily. "I'm trying to rebuild my relationship with Meredith. How am I supposed to do that when you're prancing around the hospital wearing a lab coat with my name on it?" Derek stole a glance at the name on Addison's lab coat: _Dr. Montgomery Shepherd_. He sighed in frustration.

"First of all, I don't prance around," Addison smirked. "And secondly," she added, growing more serious, "I think that you and me and Meredith…I think that we're all mature enough to realize that me keeping your last name is a strictly professional decision."

Derek shook his head in disbelief. "It still feels like you're going out of your way to make me miserable."

"I hate to break it to you, Derek, but I don't spend my spare time coming up with ways to make your life complicated."

"You could have fooled me," Derek shot back.

Addison rolled her eyes. "Stop being petty."

"Stop being an adulterous bitch," Derek snapped back.

"Hey, you're a cheater too now," Addison reminded her ex-husband. She had tried to say it smugly, but it was impossible to miss the hurt in her voice.

Derek sighed. "Sorry," he mumbled. His comment was hurtful and out of line, and he knew it.

"It's fine," Addison said quickly, even though they both knew it wasn't.

"No, I shouldn't have said that," Derek admitted. "It's just…it feels like you're sabotaging my life on purpose."

"Derek-"

"I mean, come on, Addison, what are you still doing in Seattle? We're not married anymore, so you can go back to New York."

"Richard offered me a job here," Addison responded tersely. "If you have a problem with me being here, I suggest you take it up with him."

"Well, it's your fault that Mark works here now," Derek shot back.

"Mark used to be your best friend," Addison pointed out. "And, again, Richard offered him a job here. I think you're displacing your anger, Derek. It sounds to me like the person you're actually angry at is Richard."

"Oh, spare me the shrink talk, Addison. My anger is perfectly placed. I'm angry at you."

Addison was about to respond, when George appeared in the doorway of her office. "Uh, excuse me, Dr. Shepherd," he began. "We need you immediately. We just had a patient rushed into the E.R. and we need your help."

"Thank you, O'Malley," Addison nodded. "Where's the patient now? You can fill me in on the details of her case on the walk over there."

"Hold on a second, Addison," Derek smirked, stepping in between Addison and George. "He's not talking to you. He's talking to me."

"And what makes you think that he's talking to you?" Addison asked, raising an eyebrow at Derek.

"Um, actually," George cut in, but both Addison and Derek ignored him, and continued to argue with each other.

"O'Malley is my intern, today," Derek reasoned. "You permanently assigned Karev to your service, remember?"

"Um, we still have an emergency on our hands," George pointed out. "We should probably hurry...you know, if we want to save lives and all."

But Addison and Derek were too wrapped up in their argument to hear him.

"He's obviously talking to me," Derek insisted, jamming a hand on his hip. "_I'm_ Doctor Shepherd."

"I'm also Doctor Shepherd," Addison reminded him smugly.

"Addison, the patient is clearly mine." Derek turned to face George. "Come on, O'Malley, you're scrubbing in."

"Actually, I'm not," George said. "And neither are you. The patient is a thirty-five year old female. She's twenty-seven weeks pregnant, and was in a serious car accident. We couldn't find a fetal heartbeat when she was admitted. Karev's checking again as we speak."

"Okay," Addison nodded. "Let's go then." She and George made their way through the hospital corridor, with Derek trailing closely behind them.

"Derek, why are you coming with us?" Addison asked in confusion.

"O'Malley said the patient was in a serious car accident. There might be spinal damage."

"Derek, the patient needs an OB, and the last time I checked, you weren't one, so stop trying to steal my patient."

"I'm not trying to steal your patient, Addison. And you're one to talk – you stole my last name."

Addison rolled her eyes. "I understand you're upset, Derek. But now really isn't the time for us to get into this. I have a patient, and this is unprofessional…not to mention, awkward and unfair to Dr. O'Malley." She turned to face George. "Sorry about this," she apologized.

"Oh, no, don't worry about me," George insisted. "I'm used to being in awkward situations. You two really shouldn't stop arguing on my account…but, uh, this here…this is your patient's room, so you guys might not want to argue in front of her and her husband."

Addison nodded. "Thanks for your help, Dr. O'Malley."

"What about the consult you needed?" Derek asked Addison, just as she was about to enter her patient's room.

Addison turned to face her ex-husband. "It can wait until after I'm through here," she assured him. "But if you want to read up on the patient's condition, the file's in my office. Here," she said handing him her keys. "You can go grab the file from my office if you want to."

Derek accepted the keys. "I think I'll do that."

"Okay," Addison nodded. "I'll see you later, Derek."

"Right, see you later," Derek said, as he began to walk away.

"Hey, Derek," Addison called out.

Derek turned to face her. "Yes, Addison?"

"Don't even think about touching or doing anything to the nameplates in my office."

Derek rolled his eyes. "Do you really think I'm _that_ passive aggressive?"

Addison shrugged. "I don't know. But I do know is that there is a land called Passive Aggressiva, and while I may be their queen, you spend a fair bit of time there as well."


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thank you for the nice feedback on this story! I love hearing what you think. Here's the next chapter. I hope you like it. Thanks for reading!

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Two weeks had passed since Derek and Addison's argument over her keeping his last name. She still wasn't backing down, but to Derek's surprise, Meredith was taking everything in stride. She pointed out that her mother kept Thatcher's last name, even after their marriage ended, because the medical community already knew her as Ellis Grey. And even though Meredith didn't love the idea of Addison keeping Derek's last name, she could understand where Addison was coming from. Deep down, Derek knew that Meredith and Addison were right – that it was a professional decision, not a personal one – but, for some reason, it still felt personal to him.

It had been a long week, and Derek and Meredith had decided to unwind by going out to dinner after work. They decided to go to Leonardo's Bistro, a cute Italian place with great drinks and to-die-for pasta. Since their shifts didn't match up perfectly, Derek and Meredith decided that they would meet each other at the restaurant.

"Hello," Derek greeted the hostess, as he entered Leonardo's. "I have a reservation for eight o'clock. The name is Shepherd."

The hostess, whose nametag read Emily, consulted her book of reservations. "Shepherd…party of two, is that right?"

"It is," Derek nodded. "But the woman I'm meeting-"

"She's already here," Emily filled in. "I'll show you to your table."

Derek smiled his thanks as Emily led him to his table.

"Here we are," Emily smiled, as she and Derek stopped in front of his table. Emily stepped out of the way, and Derek nearly fell over when he saw that the woman sitting at his table wasn't Meredith, but the anti-Meredith. It was Addison.

"Is this some kind of joke?" Derek asked angrily.

"Um, is everything okay?" Emily asked in confusion.

"No, everything is not okay," Derek said, trying to keep his voice calm. "What are you doing here, Addison?"

"I came here for dinner," Addison answered simply. "You know how much I like this place, Derek."

"So you stole my reservation?" Derek asked.

"I had no idea you were coming here tonight," Addison shot back. "I made my own reservation."

"Then what's going on here?" Derek demanded.

"Oh, wait, wait, look," Emily said, frantically rifling her book of reservations. "It turns out we have two identical eight o'clock dinner reservations…Shepherd, party of two. I just thought it was a mistake or something." She turned to Derek and Addison. "So, you both made eight o'clock reservations under the name Shepherd?"

"I did," Derek nodded.

"So did I," Addison answered.

"And you two clearly don't want to have dinner together," Emily said under her breath. "So it really is two separate reservations. Okay." She gave Derek and Addison an apologetic smile. "I'm so sorry for the confusion." She turned to Derek. "But now that we have everything straightened out, I can show you to another table, sir."

But Derek wasn't paying attention to Emily. "You made a dinner reservation under my last name, Addison?"

"Hey, it's my last name too," Addison defended.

"Why don't I show you to your table, sir," Emily cut in uncomfortably, trying to put an end to Derek and Addison's argument.

But Derek and Addison ignored her.

"It's your last name in a professional capacity," Derek reminded Addison. "Is your dinner tonight business-related?"

Addison blushed. "No. Not that it's any of your business anymore."

"Well, if you're here on a date, why didn't you make the reservation under Montgomery?" Derek asked coolly. Derek could feel the anger rising in his chest, but he realized that the reason for his anger had shifted. He wasn't really angry that Addison had made reservations under her married name…but the fact that Addison had a date tonight – well, that annoyed the crap out of him. And he knew he didn't have any right to be angry or jealous; after all, he too was here tonight on a date.

Addison was about to respond, when Meredith walked over to them. "Hey, Derek, sorry that I…uh, Addison," she said, cutting herself off in surprise. "Um, hi. Um, what are, what are you doing here?"

"I have dinner reservations," Addison smiled politely.

"Not with us," Derek added quickly.

"I'd be happy to show you two to your table now," Emily said to Meredith and Derek, hoping that they'd take her up on her offer before the situation became even more uncomfortable.

"I think that's a good idea," Meredith agreed.

Emily smiled gratefully, and led them to a table a few feet away – still in plain sight of Addison's table. Emily pulled out Meredith's chair for her, and handed Derek and Meredith their menus before walking away.

"Hey, Meredith, switch seats with me?" Derek requested.

"Why?" Meredith asked in confusion.

"No reason," Derek answered as innocently as he could.

Meredith looked at her boyfriend skeptically. "Derek, if you want to switch seats with me so that you can spy on Addison, I swear to-"

"That's not why," Derek insisted – even though it was exactly why. "Please, just switch seats with me."

"Fine," Meredith agreed exasperatedly.

"Thank you," Derek smiled, standing up and switching seats with Meredith.

Shortly after Derek and Meredith's game of musical chairs, their waiter came over and asked them if they ready to order drinks. Derek was about to order his usual scotch, but he noticed that the restaurant served an expensive French merlot that he really liked.

"Hey, Meredith, would you be interested in splitting a bottle of the merlot with me?"

Meredith nodded. "That sounds good."

"Excellent choice," their waiter complimented. "I'll be right back with your wine."

"So how was your day?" Meredith asked Derek.

"It was good," Derek smiled. "I had a craniotomy. O'Malley scrubbed in with me, and he…is that Jason Dickenson?" Derek asked, interrupting himself mid-sentence.

Meredith looked at Derek in confusion. "Wait, what are you talking about, Derek?"

"That guy, who just sat down at Addison's table," Derek explained. "That's Jason Dickenson. He's here on a neuro fellowship."

"Oh," Meredith nodded. "I've heard about him. He's supposed to be a very good doctor."

"He's okay," Derek shrugged. "Why's he having dinner with Addison? Is he her date?"

Meredith discretely turned around to look at the pair. "It looks that way."

Before Derek had a chance to analyze the situation further, their waiter returned with their wine. Derek took a sip, and it was just as good as he remembered it.

"Wow, this wine is really good," Meredith complimented.

"It's my favorite," Derek smiled.

"I've never heard of this brand of merlot before," Meredith commented. "How'd you find out about it?"

"I used to drink it a lot back in New York," Derek said easily. He figured that that response would be simpler than telling Meredith the truth – that this was Addison's favorite wine first, and that she had introduced him to it.

He stole a glance over at Addison's table, only to find the waiter pouring her and Jason the exact same wine that he and Meredith were drinking.

"So, what are you thinking of ordering?" Meredith asked.

Derek looked at the menu. He didn't need to; he always ordered the same thing at this restaurant – chicken marsala over linguini. Shooting another glance over at Addison, he tried to guess which dish his ex-wife was going to order. His eyes immediately went to the filet minion. He knew that Addison loved a good steak. But when she was trying to make a good impression, she usually chose a daintier meal. He figured that, if knew Addison, she would order the order the grilled salmon, but she'd secretly wish she'd order the filet minion.

"You still with me, Derek?" Meredith asked, cutting into Derek's thoughts.

"Oh, uh, right," Derek stammered, turning his attention back to Meredith. "Where were we again?"

"I asked you what you were ordering, and then you went all silent, so I told you that I was thinking about getting the chicken parm, and you still didn't say anything," Meredith explained.

"Sorry," Derek apologized sheepishly. "I've heard the chicken parm is really good here. I'm going to get the chicken marsala."

"Oh, that sounds good," Meredith smiled, before proceeding to tell Derek about the surgery she had scrubbed in on earlier in the day. Derek listened with mild interest before turning his attention back to Addison and her date. He wasn't sure if it was his imagination, but he felt like he wasn't the only one having trouble focusing on his date – he could have sworn that he saw Addison looking over at him too.

"Derek, are you even listening to me?" Meredith asked angrily.

"I am, I am," Derek insisted. "You were talking about how you scrubbed in with Burke and Cristina today."

"Yeah, but then I was telling you about how Cristina's been acting weird lately, and I was wondering if you thought that Burke's been acting weird too."

"Oh, uh, I haven't noticed anything," Derek said. "But, then again, Burke and I aren't close like you and Cristina are."

Meredith nodded and went back to talking, while Derek spent the dinner dividing his attention between Meredith and Addison. He didn't know why, but dinner seemed to drag on, and he was relieved when their waiter finally brought out the check. Derek paid for dinner, and waited for their waiter to return with his credit card.

"Here you are, sir," the waiter smiled, handing Derek the small, black leather folder, which held his credit card and receipt. "Please come again soon."

Derek smiled his thanks, and opened the leather folder to retrieve his credit card and add the tip to his bill. But it wasn't his credit card and it wasn't his bill. It was Addison Shepherd's – the waiter must have gotten their credit cards mixed up.

"I can't believe he's letting her pay," Derek commented dryly. "Chivalry really is dead."

"Excuse me?" Meredith asked.

"This isn't my credit card. This isn't my bill. They gave me Addison's by mistake," Derek explained.

"Oh," Meredith said in surprise. "Should I call our waiter back over here?"

"Not just yet," Derek said distractedly, as his eyes scanned Addison's bill. "I knew she'd get the salmon," he declared triumphantly.

"I'm surprised you didn't know that from watching her all night," Meredith said sarcastically. "I mean, you really should have just eaten dinner with Addison and Jason…because it certainly didn't feel like you were eating dinner with me tonight."

Derek looked up from Addison's bill, and met his girlfriend's eyes. "Mer, that's not true," he said softly. "You're the only person I wanted to have dinner with tonight."

"It didn't feel that way, Derek."

"Mer, I don't know what to say. I'm really sorry," Derek apologized, before glancing down at Addison's bill again. "It's just…tonight was a little awkward for me. You get that don't you?"

Meredith sighed. "Yeah, I guess I do. It's just-"

"Oh, man," Derek interrupted, with a chuckle, as his eyes continued to run through Addison's bill. "Addison ordered a cappuccino. Not a smart move, Addie. She usually doesn't drink caffeine this late at night. She's going to be up all night."

"Derek, this is exactly what I'm talking about," Meredith said angrily.

"What?" Derek asked innocently.

"You're supposed to be at dinner with me…so I need you to stop worrying about Addison…and who she's dating…or what she's eating or drinking…or whether she'll be up all night."

"Oh, it's not a question of whether she'll be up all night," Derek laughed. "She'll definitely be up all night. I'd put money on it."

"Derek," Meredith said sharply.

Derek sighed. "You're right. I'm sorry. Let's get this whole thing with the bill straightened out, and we'll go home and I'll make it up to you…I promise."

xxxxx

"You look tired," Derek said smugly, the next morning at work, as he joined Addison, who was waiting for an elevator.

"I am." Addison nodded. "For whatever reason, I didn't sleep well last night."

"It was probably the cappuccino," Derek chuckled.

Addison rolled her eyes at Derek, silently cursing him – he was right. "How'd you know that I had a cappuccino last night?"

"The waiter accidentally gave me your bill…you know, because you haven't changed your last name on your credit cards yet…he must have gotten our cards confused. Why'd you pay for dinner anyway?"

"Why do you care?" Addison challenged.

"I don't," Derek said quickly. "It's just, it's a little strange, don't you think?"

"Not really," Addison shrugged. "I make more money that Jason does, and I chose the restaurant. But, now that you mention it, you know what's kind of strange?"

"What?"

"The fact that you looked through my bill."

Derek looked down at the ground in embarrassment. "Sorry," he apologized. "That was kind of out of line on my part." Then, with a twinkle in his eye, he added, "But, having seen your bill, I think you made a grave mistake ordering the salmon. A man a couple of tables over got the filet minion. It looked good…you would have liked it."

Addison laughed. "Damn, I knew I should have gone with that." She shook her head sadly and sighed. Derek knew her so well.

The elevator dinged, and both Addison and Derek got in. "Which floor?" Derek asked.

"Five,"

"Hey, me too," Derek smiled, pressing the button. "So," Derek began, "how was your night last night?"

Addison raised an eyebrow. "It was fine," she answered simply.

"But…" Derek trailed off.

"But what?"

"But you don't see a second date in your future," Derek assessed knowingly.

"Derek, the last time I checked, you were my ex-husband, not one of my girlfriends. I'd really prefer it if we stayed out of each other's dating lives. It crosses a line."

"Only because you know I'm right," Derek said smugly.

Addison couldn't help cracking a smile. "Fine, you're right. There's no foreseeable second date with Jason in my future."

"Smart move," Derek smiled.

"Okay, you definitely just crossed a line there, Derek. Are you seriously giving me dating advice?"

Derek shrugged. "No. It's just, Jason's here on a fellowship. He's not an attending. He's kind of a downgrade for you, don't you think?"

"A downgrade?" Addison snapped. "Derek, you're dating an intern. Don't even talk to me about downgrading."

"I-"

"No, this conversation is over," Addison insisted as she stepped off the elevator.

"Look, I'm sorry," Derek apologized. "That was extremely hypocritical of me. I'm sorry."

"I don't want hear it," Addison retorted.

"Well, at least let me buy you a cup of coffee," Derek pleaded. "You look exhausted."

"I have a meeting with the chief in five minutes," Addison said. "I don't have time for coffee."

"Wait, you have a meeting with Richard in five minutes?" Derek asked, looking at his watch.

Addison nodded.

"I do too," Derek said.

"Maybe he wants to meet with all of the attendings," Addison shrugged.

Derek shook his head. "Burke and Mark are in surgery now."

"Hmm, I wonder what this is about then," Addison said, as she knocked on Richard's office door.

Richard looked up from his paperwork and smiled. "Addison, Derek, come in. Sit down," he said, gesturing to the two seats on the other side of his desk.

"What's this all about, Richard?" Derek asked, as he and Addison sat down.

Richard smiled. "As you both know, there's a very prestigious medical conference in Portland next week, and both of you agreed to give lectures."

Derek turned to Addison. "I didn't know that you were going to that conference."

Addison nodded. "Why wouldn't I? It's a very important conference, and I'm the best in my field. I didn't know you were going."

"I too am the best in my field," Derek answered smugly. "Of course I'm going."

"Okay," Richard cut in. "Now that we've established that both of you are the best in your fields and that you are both going to the conference, let's talk logistics."

"Okay…" Derek trailed off.

"You two should probably drive out there together. It doesn't make sense for you to drive out separately," Richard started. "And my secretary, Patricia, booked each of you a room in the hotel where the conference is being held. Does this sound okay to both of you?"

Addison nodded. "That's fine with me."

"And you two can drive out to Portland together without killing each other?"

Derek and Addison looked at each other. "We can," Addison assured Richard.

Richard turned to Derek. "Derek?" he asked.

"It' fine with me," Derek said. He turned towards Addison. "And I'll even let you decide what kind of music we listen to."

"Well, you two can discuss that on your own time," Richard said. "But these plans sound okay to both of you?"

Derek and Addison both nodded.

"Good," Richard smiled. "So, everything is settled. We should have no problems at all."


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Thank you so much for the awesome feedback on the last chapter and on this story so far! I love hearing what you think! Here's the next chapter – I hope you like it. Thanks so much for reading!

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"Hi," Addison smiled at the receptionist behind the desk at the hotel. "I'm checking in. The reservation is under Shepherd."

The woman entered the information into her computer. "Yes," she smiled. "It says here you have a suite with a king-size bed."

Addison turned around to face Derek, who was standing in line behind her. "Richard spared no expense," she approved, raising her eyebrow.

"Here's your key," the receptionist said, handing Addison a keycard. "We hope you enjoy your stay, Dr. Shepherd. Please let us know if there's anything that we can do to make your stay more enjoyable."

"Thank you," Addison smiled, before moving aside so that Derek could check in.

"Hi. Reservation for Shepherd," Derek said to the receptionist.

The woman looked between him and Addison quizzically. "Um, your wife just checked you in."

"Oh, no, we're not married," Derek explained quickly. "There should be another reservation under Shepherd."

The receptionist began typing on her computer. "There doesn't seem to be another reservation under Shepherd," she said after a moment.

"How about Montgomery?" Derek asked.

"Hmm…no," the receptionist said regretfully.

"Montgomery Shepherd?" Derek tried.

"Nope, sorry."

Derek turned to Addison. "Richard said he got us two separate rooms, right?"

"Yes, definitely," Addison confirmed.

"Then what's going on here?" Derek asked angrily.

"Um, I could get a manager," the receptionist volunteered.

"That's a good idea," Derek said through gritted teeth.

A few minutes later, a woman wearing a business suit approached Derek and Addison. "Hi, I'm Elizabeth Wilson, the general manager."

Derek and Addison smiled politely at Elizabeth.

"It seems as though two reservations were made under the name Shepherd," Elizabeth began. "But with this being such a busy weekend because of the medical conference, we thought that there was a mistake, and that we double booked, so we canceled one of the reservations."

"You canceled one of the reservations?" Derek asked in disbelief.

"I'm so sorry about this," Elizabeth apologized. "We're going give you your hotel room for free, and you are welcome to use the mini bar free of charge."

"Wait, can't you just get us another room?" Addison asked.

"Unfortunately, I can't," Elizabeth said. "We're all booked."

"And where's the next closest hotel?" Derek asked.

"It's about a half hour drive," Elizabeth told him.

"That won't work," Addison said.

"Well, according to our records, you do have a suite, so one of you could sleep on the couch," Elizabeth offered.

Derek and Addison looked at each other. "I guess that could work," Derek conceded.

Addison nodded in agreement.

"Oh, good," Elizabeth smiled. "And, like I said, your room will free of charge. And please take whatever you want from the mini bar."

"Okay," Derek said. "Let's head up to our room then."

xxxxx

"This is nice," Addison approved as she opened the door to her and Derek's suite.

"Wow, it is," Derek agreed, his eyes widening at how nice the room was.

Derek watched as Addison removed her designer clothes from her suitcase and carefully hung them up in the closet. It was such a simple thing; most people probably wouldn't have even noticed it. But, to Derek, this small gesture was so completely Addison – he had watched her do this probably a hundred times between all of the vacations and medical conferences they had went to together over the years. Standing there, watching her, Derek felt as though he were being thrown back in time. And, to his surprise, he wasn't completely opposed to it.

"You're staring," Addison said, snapping Derek out of his haze.

"Oh, I uh," Derek stammered. "I, um, you can take the bed," he offered. "I'll sleep on the couch."

"You sure?" Addison asked.

"Definitely," Derek nodded.

"Thanks," Addison smiled, meeting Derek's eyes.

"So, let's check out this mini bar," Derek said, quickly breaking eye contact with Addison.

"I don't know," Addison started. "We have the conference reception in an hour, and drinks are going to be free there too."

"That's true," Derek conceded. "But I think we're going to need a head start if we're going to get through this. I mean, think about all of the people we're going to know. Most of them are going to want to offer their apologies about our divorce…we're going to want to get some alcohol in us first, trust me."

"Good point," Addison agreed. "What should we drink?"

"Let's see," Derek began, as he looked through the refrigerator. "We've got vodka, scotch, rum, gin, and tequila."

"I'll have anything but tequila," Addison answered.

Derek couldn't help but crack a smile. "Okay, scotch it is then."

"Good choice," Addison approved, as Derek poured a glass of scotch for each of them.

Derek grinned. He knew Addison would have chosen the scotch. She was the only woman he knew that would drink it with him. "So, what should we drink to?" Derek asked, handing Addison her glass of scotch.

Addison thought for a moment. What do recently divorced people who are sharing a hotel room drink to? "How about we drink to a good conference?" she suggested finally.

"Hmm, that's kind of boring," Derek teased. "But I guess it will work. To a good conference," he said, raising his glass.

Addison raised an eyebrow mischievously, before lightly tapping her glass of scotch against Derek's glass. "To a conference we'll never forget."

xxxxx

One hour and another glass of scotch later, Derek and Addison were feeling considerably more relaxed.

"We should probably head down to the reception," Addison said looking at her watch. "It started ten minutes ago."

"Wait, not just yet," Derek pleaded. "Let's have another glass of scotch up here. It's free."

"Derek, the alcohol is free downstairs at the reception as well," Addison reminded her ex-husband.

"I know," Derek conceded. "It's just, I'm not ready to face everyone."

"Derek, what are you talking about? You're an amazing doctor. You have nothing to be worried about."

"I'm a good doctor," Derek agreed, "but my personal life is a mess. The medical community is no different from a high school. Everyone down there knows that I left the great Addison Montgomery to be with an intern. People are going to be judging me."

"And you don't think they're going to be judging me?" Addison challenged. "I'm the adulterous bitch who cheated on her husband with his best friend. Derek, if our colleagues are going to be judging anyone tonight, it's going to be me."

"You know," Derek began. "Suddenly, going down to that reception is sounding less and less appealing."

Addison nodded in agreement.

"Want to skip it?" Derek asked with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"I don't know," Addison said hesitantly. "We're supposed to be here representing Seattle Grace and-"

"Come on, Addie," Derek interrupted. "It'll be like the old days. We always used to skip conference receptions together."

"Derek, we skipped those receptions so that we could have sex in fancy hotel rooms. Things are different now."

"Fine, so we won't have sex," Derek conceded. "But we can still skip the reception."

Addison looked at him uncertainly.

"Do you want to go to the reception?" Derek asked.

"No," Addison admitted.

"Then how about we drink another glass of scotch, and when we're done, we can reevaluate the whole situation," Derek proposed.

"I like that idea," Addison nodded, grabbing the scotch bottle. "Here, hand me your glass."

A few glasses of scotch later, Derek and Addison were too drunk to reevaluate the whole going down to the reception situation. But they were more relaxed.

"Hey, you know what this hotel room reminds me of?" Addison asked Derek, as she moved a little closer to him on the bed, emboldened by the alcohol.

Derek shook his head. "No. What?"

"That place," Addison smiled.

"With the boat?" Derek asked.

"No, no, not the boat. The boat was, uh, was that other place."

"With the bed?" Derek asked, a wide smile forming on his face.

Addison nodded. "Yeah, the big bed, and the sheets. Doesn't this room remind you of it?"

"You know, it does," Derek agreed. He met Addison's eyes. "We had a good time there," he said softly.

"Mmhm," Addison murmured.

"We should go back there," Derek insisted drunkenly.

Addison grew serious. "Derek, we can't."

"Why not?" Derek slurred.

"Because we're not together anymore," Addison reminded him, anger clear in her voice. As drunk as she was, she sounded perfectly sober now.

Addison's sudden change in demeanor caught Derek off guard, killing whatever buzz he had going. "Addison, what's this all about?"

Addison exhaled noisily. "It's just, this thing…this whole situation is so inappropriate."

"Wait, what?" Derek asked in confusion.

"This," Addison explained, gesturing drunkenly. "You and me…sharing a hotel room…skipping the reception to get drunk together…us talking about the place with the bed…you saying we should go back there. None of this is okay, Derek."

"Addison, I think you're overreacting," Derek countered, wishing that they could just go back to drinking peacefully.

"I'm not," Addison insisted. "This right here…what we're doing, right now, this is inappropriate."

"You know, if you would have had this moral compass back in New York, you and I still might be together," Derek said rolling his eyes. "Because somehow what we're doing, right now, is crossing some type of line, but you doing my best friend…that was perfectly okay."

"Seriously, Derek?" Addison snapped, her cheeks flushing with anger.

Derek shrugged nonchalantly.

Addison glared at her ex-husband. "I hate to point out the obvious here, Derek, but I'm not the only adulterer in the room."

"At least Meredith and I are still together," Derek shot back smugly.

"Yeah, but you're so embarrassed of your relationship with her that you couldn't bear the thought of going down to the reception, tonight, and telling everyone that you left me for an intern," Addison snapped, folding her arms across her chest.

"That's not true," Derek insisted angrily.

"Really, Derek?" Addison challenged. "Then why didn't we go to the reception?"

"Because I didn't want to," Derek retorted.

"Not good enough, Derek," Addison smirked. "You and I both know the real reason you didn't go to the reception tonight."

"Addison, that's not fair," Derek protested.

Addison shrugged. "It might not be fair, but it's the truth. And this isn't Seattle."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Derek asked angrily.

Addison gave Derek a haughty smile. "It mean that here…at this conference, you're _not_ McDreamy. And I'm not Satan. At this conference, you're just as guilty as I am. At this conference, you're-"

But Addison was cut off by Derek's lips against hers. Addison struggled for a minute, confused by Derek's actions, but, with Derek's lips against hers, it was difficult for her to think. So she kissed him back. It wasn't loving or intimate or caring. It was angry. It was hard, angry kisses. It was tongues dueling…far too rough to be graceful.

He threw her down on the bed, and she pulled him on top of her, digging her nails into his back, smiling triumphantly, as she felt him wince in pain. He responded in kind, trailing rough kisses down her neck, knowing that there would be tell-tale marks there tomorrow. He reached behind her, and began tugging at the zipper of her dress, while she made quick work undoing the buttons of his shirt. She pushed his shirt off his shoulders before peeling it down his arms, as he helped her shimmy out of her dress.

The sex wasn't loving or intimate or caring. It was angry. It was nails scraping. It was hair tugging. It was him in her…far too rough to be graceful. It was his indifference in Seattle. It was all those lonely nights in New York. It was him finding her in bed with another man. It was her finding another woman's panties in the pocket of his tux. It was hurt and anger and betrayal…far too rough to be graceful.

But then something changed. They were lying side by side, still breathing heavily, when he pulled her in close, so that her head was resting on his chest, and gently began running his fingers through her hair. Surprised by the intimate gesture, she hesitantly looked up at him and met his eyes. He gave her a soft smile before leaning in and kissing her gently.

"Derek," she whispered.

But he didn't respond – just softly molded his lips against hers. She hesitated just a moment before kissing him back. It was intimate and familiar; it felt right. He thought so too, because he flipped them over so that she was now on her back, and he was on top of her. He kissed her deeply, and she moaned into his mouth as he entered her. In the morning, they could blame it on the alcohol.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Thanks so much for the nice feedback! I love hearing what you think. Here's the next chapter. I hope you like it, and thanks for reading!

* * *

Derek awoke the next morning to the sound of his cell phone ringing. He stumbled out of bed to answer it and immediately felt his hangover hit.

"Hello," he mumbled into the phone, his throat dry and his voice horse from a night of heavy drinking.

"Derek!" Richard exclaimed. "I've been trying to reach you and Addison all morning. Is everything alright?"

"What?" Derek asked in confusion, massaging his temples. Richard's outburst certainly wasn't helping his hangover.

"It's twelve in the afternoon," Richard explained.

"Shit," Derek swore, suddenly feeling more awake.

"You and Addison were both supposed to give lectures at nine, this morning," Richard went on. "Neither of you showed up. And then nobody could get in touch with either of you. And then it came out that you and Addison never showed up to the conference reception last night."

"Richard, I am so sorry," Derek apologized.

"Where's Addison?"

Derek's eyes darted to the bed, where Addison was still sleeping. "Uh…" he trailed off.

"Derek," Richard said more firmly. "Where's Addison?"

"Um," Derek stammered, trying to buy himself some more time.

"Derek," Richard demanded.

"She, uh, she's here," Derek said vaguely.

"What?" Richard asked in confusion. "You and Addison are together, right now? Did you both decide to skip the conference on purpose?"

"No, no," Derek answered quickly. "Look, Richard, I'm really sorry about this and, uh, it's kind of hard to explain everything to you, right now, but Addison and I will explain it all when we get back to Seattle, okay?"

Derek tiredly ran a hand over his face, as Richard continued to lecture him, inserting apologies where appropriate. He noticed that Addison was beginning to wake up and, luckily for him, his conversation with Richard was drawing to a close.

"Again, I am so sorry about this," Derek apologized. "And, yes, Addison and I will meet with you about what happened as soon as we get back to Seattle…okay…bye."

"Who do we have to meet with when we get back to Seattle?" Addison asked tiredly.

"Richard," Derek explained.

Addison nodded. "To tell him how the conference went?"

"Yeah, something like that," Derek chuckled.

"Oh, well, then we better start getting ready," Addison began. She moved to get out of bed, but quickly thought better of it. "Ugh, I feel horrible," she complained. "We drank way too much last night. Hey, what time is it anyway?"

"Noon."

Addison's eyes widened in horror. "Noon?" she gasped.

Derek nodded.

"But we were supposed to speak at nine."

"Which is why Richard called," Derek nodded. "He's not pleased with us."

"Oh, this is bad," Addison breathed. "This is really bad." She looked down at the rumpled comforter on the bed and then at the pillows next to her, which had clearly been slept on, and the events of the previous night came rushing back to her. This was so much worse than her and Derek just missing the conference. "Oh shit," she swore. "What the hell did we do?"

Derek was about to respond, but Addison's hangover had caught up with her, and she quickly darted out of bed and ran into the bathroom. Derek sat on the bed, trying to wrap his head around the gigantic mess that he and Addison had gotten themselves into, as the sounds of the toilet flushing and Addison's muffled groans came from the bathroom. A part of Derek was tempted to walk into the bathroom, and hold Addison's hair back and rub soothing circles on her back, like he did in the old days. But this wasn't the old days. They were divorced, and he had just cheated on his girlfriend; him going into the bathroom would be crossing a line.

Another flush, another groan. "Screw it," Derek muttered to himself, as he made his way off the bed. "Addison," he said gently, as he knocked on the bathroom door.

"I'm fine, Derek," Addison groaned.

Another flush of the toilet.

"Uh, is there anything I can do to help?" Derek asked in concern.

"Yeah, just stay where you are," Addison's voice rang out from behind the bathroom door.

Derek sighed heavily. He hated feeling so helpless. And he knew that he shouldn't have cared that Addison was hungover and vomiting enough to rival an entire frat house after a mixer. But he couldn't help himself from caring. Maybe Addison had a point, last night, when she told him that this wasn't Seattle. In Seattle, he would probably delight in his ex-wife's killer hangover. But not here; not now. And he didn't know why.

Tired of feeling helpless, he did the only thing he could think of – he called room service, and ordered breakfast for himself and Addison.

"Hey, how're you feeling," Derek asked softly when Addison emerged from the bathroom, a little while later.

"Hungover," Addison groaned.

"Me too," Derek nodded.

Addison looked at her ex-husband. "You don't look it," she observed.

"Well, not compared to you," Derek chuckled. "But I'm hungover. Anyway, I ordered room service. It should be here any minute."

The words had barely left Derek's mouth, when a knock sounded at the door.

"I guess it's here now," Derek smiled, as he opened the door, while Addison made herself comfortable on the bed.

"Let's see," Derek said, "I got you a cinnamon raisin bagel, a cup of coffee, and lots of water."

"Thanks, Derek," Addison smiled, touched that he still remembered her go-to hangover meal. The man couldn't remember which bed sheets were his favorites, so it was nice to know that he still remembered a few things about her.

Derek sat down next to Addison on the bed. He briefly wondered if him and Addison eating breakfast in bed together was crossing some type of line, but he quickly stomped on those thoughts. He and Addison had more than crossed a line last night – anything else that they did together that was even quasi-inappropriate would still be insignificant.

"So," he began after a few minutes of eating in silence. "Do you think we should talk about what happened?"

Addison sighed heavily, and ran a hand through her hair. "Okay. Where do you think we should start? Should we start with how we got drunk and slept through the conference that we were supposed to present at? Or should we start with how we slept together, which makes you a cheater and me the other woman? Take your pick."

Derek shifted uncomfortably. "Um, I guess, let's start by thinking about what we're going to say to Richard, because we obviously can't tell him the truth."

Addison nodded. "Yeah, I don't think he'd be too thrilled to know that the hospital funded a night of drunken sex and infidelity. So, what should we tell him?"

"Technically, the hospital didn't fund our night, last night," Derek pointed out. "Everything was free of charge."

"Derek," Addison scolded. "We need to focus on the issue at hand."

"Right," Derek agreed. "Richard's going to find out that we shared a room…there's no escaping that. Let's just conveniently leave out the part about how we shared a bed…and, of course, what took place in that bed."

Addison did her best to stifle a laugh. "That still doesn't explain why we both missed the conference."

"True," Derek conceded. "And I'd rather not tell our boss that we missed the conference because we spent the night drinking. So…"

"So we could tell Richard that we were exhausted from driving out here, and that we slept through our alarms," Addison suggested.

Derek looked at her skeptically. "I don't know, Addison. I don't think that's very believable."

"It'll be more believable if we both stand behind it," Addison shrugged. "Besides, I can't think of anything better. Can you?"

"Not offhand," Derek admitted. "But we have an entire car ride back to think of something. We're world-class surgeons…we should be able to think of something."

"Okay," Addison agreed. "So…what are you going to do about Meredith?"

Derek sighed. "I have to tell her. She's going to be furious…and she has every right to be…but I have to tell her."

"Not necessarily," Addison disagreed.

"Wait, what?" Derek asked his ex-wife in confusion.

"Look, you and Meredith only just recently got back together. She still hasn't fully forgiven you for not telling her about me. How do you think she's going to feel when she finds out that we slept together?"

"But I can't keep another secret from her," Derek insisted. "Besides, things like this always have a way of getting out."

"How?" Addison asked. "I'm certainly not going to tell anyone. And, if you don't say anything, nobody ever needs to know. Last night was just us being drunk and stupid. It's not going to happen again, so there's really no need for you to ruin your relationship with Meredith over it."

"You might be right," Derek admitted.

"I am right," Addison said with a slight smile.

"So this stays between us?" Derek asked hesitantly.

Addison nodded. "Nobody will ever know."


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Thank you so much for all of the nice feedback on this story so far! I absolutely loved the reviews that I got on the last chapter, and if I ever need to make up an excuse or need to get out of something, I'm coming here for advice. I'm horrible at coming up with excuses (seriously, them sleeping through the alarm was my best attempt), and I loved the excuses that you came up with. I also really liked the predictions that you made; I hope I don't disappoint. Anyway, I hope you like this chapter and, as always, thanks for reading my story!

* * *

"Do you think he bought it?" Derek asked Addison. They had just gotten out of their meeting with a very angry Richard.

"I don't know," Addison admitted. "But it's not like he has any proof, so we should be okay."

"Good," Derek nodded. "Anyway, I guess I'll see you around."

"Yeah, see you around, Derek," Addison smiled, as she prepared to make her way to the NICU.

"Hey, Addison?" Derek called out.

Addison turned to face her ex-husband. "Yes, Derek?"

Derek walked toward her until there was almost no space left between them. "Was it me, or was the sex really good?"

"Derek," Addison chided. "Does that sound like us never talking about it again?"

"No, you're right," Derek admitted. "I'm sorry. I'll, uh, I'll see you later," he said, as he began to walk away.

Addison watched him for a second. "Derek, wait."

He turned.

"It wasn't just you," Addison said softly. "The other night was amazing."

Derek smiled, and he and Addison instantly found themselves lost in each other's eyes. They were so focused on each other, so completely oblivious to everything around them, that neither noticed Richard come up behind them.

"So, is this some type of secret meeting for doctors who skip out on important medical conferences?" Richard asked, snapping Derek and Addison out of their haze.

"Richard, what are you doing here?" Addison asked awkwardly.

"Uh, I work here," The Chief answered. "You two are standing outside of my office. I think the better question is what are you two doing here?"

"We also work here," Derek shot back smugly.

Richard shook his head disapprovingly. "What I meant was don't you two have patients to see? Or are you just planning on blowing them off as well so that you can engage in staring contests in the hallway?"

"Richard, it's not like that," Addison defended.

"We were just about to get to work," Derek added.

"Okay," Richard nodded. And Derek and Addison began to head off in separate directions.

"Dr. Shepherd, wait," Richard called out.

Derek and Addison both turned to look at him.

"Uh, I, uh, I meant Derek," Richard stammered. "We have a patient being transferred over here from Mercy West. I was hoping that you'd look at his file."

"Absolutely," Derek agreed, shooting Addison a triumphant smirk, before following Richard into his office.

xxxxx

"Good morning, Karev," Addison greeted her intern, as she walked into the NICU. "Did you miss me while I was gone?"

Alex looked up from the baby in front of him. "Something's different about you," he observed.

Addison looked at her intern quizzically. "Nothing's different about me," she insisted.

"No," Alex disagreed, "something's different. You're…happier."

Addison shook her head. "I'm not happier."

"You seem happier," Alex commented. He paused for a moment, and studied his boss closely. "Did you have sex?"

"Excuse me?" Addison asked in surprise.

"Did you ha-"

"No, no, I heard the question the first time," Addison interrupted. "But I'm your boss...which makes this whole conversation extremely inappropriate, so I suggest you stop."

"What are you gonna do if I don't," Alex shot back with a smirk. "Kick me off your service?"

"I would, but you're actually not a bad doctor, and it would be a shame to waste your talents on dry cleaning and sandwich runs," Addison teased.

"Well played," Alex chuckled. "Hey, Dr. Shepherd?"

"Yes, Karev?"

"I don't know what's different about you but, whatever it is, you should keep doing it."

Addison sighed. "Thanks, Karev. I'll keep that in mind."

xxxxx

"Good morning, Dr. Stevens," Derek greeted his intern.

"Good morning, Dr. Shepherd," Izzie smiled. "How was the conference?"

"The conference?" Derek asked in surprise.

"Oh, come on, Dr. Shepherd, did you honestly think that we weren't gonna find out?"

"Well, I, uh," Derek stammered uncomfortably. _How could Izzie possibly know?_

"Everyone's talking about it," Izzie smirked, folding her arms across her chest.

Derek's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "They are?" _Addison promised that nobody would find out; why is everybody talking about it?_ "Uh, did Addison say something to you?"

Izzie shook her head. "No. But the Chief was on the warpath when he found out that you and Addison skipped out on the conference so, of course, the entire hospital found out. The Chief was seriously pissed…he was definitely seeing red."

"Seeing Red," Derek choked out weakly. "Funny. Have you been talking to Mark?" Derek asked, knowing that Red was Mark's nickname for Addison.

"Mark Sloan doesn't talk to interns," Izzie shot back. "So, no, I haven't been talking to Mark. I'm not sure what you're even getting at with that question."

"Yeah, yeah, me either," Derek muttered, as he tried to assess just how much Izzie actually knew.

"So, why'd you skip the conference anyway?" Izzie pressed. "And why didn't you go to reception, the night before? I mean, I've never gone to a medical conference reception before, but it's supposed to be a nice affair, right?"

"A nice affair," Derek repeated, feeling his throat begin to close up. "I, uh," he stuttered, as beads of cold sweat began to form around his hairline. "Dr. Stevens, do you know something?"

"Excuse me?" Izzie asked in confusion.

"Never mind," Derek said quickly.

"Um, Dr. Shepherd, is everything okay?" Izzie asked in concern.

Derek cleared his throat and tried his best to sound professional. "Of course everything's okay. Why-why wouldn't everything be okay? Does it seem like I'm not okay?"

"It kind of does," Izzie admitted. "You're all nervous and clammy."

"I, uh…I'm fine," Derek assured his intern.

"If you say so," Izzie shrugged, clearly unconvinced. "So, why didn't you go to the conference?"

"Stevens?"

"Yes, Dr. Shepherd?"

"How about we don't talk for a little while?"

Izzie shot her boss a quizzical look. "Whatever you say."

xxxxx

Derek was on his way to lunch, when Addison pulled him aside. "Hey, do you have a minute?"

Derek nodded, and they walked down an isolated corridor.

"What's up?" Derek asked.

Addison sighed. "Karev knows something happened at the conference. Actually, he somehow figured out that I had sex."

"Oh my God," Derek breathed. "He's gonna-"

"I never confirmed anything, so all he has are his suspicions," Addison went on, waving off Derek's fears. "And he has no idea that anything happened between us. I, uh, I just thought you should know. It's still no big deal…I handled the whole situation very calmly."

Derek nodded. "Thanks for telling me. I, uh, Izzie might know something too."

Addison raised an eyebrow. "Really? How?"

"I don't know," Derek admitted. "She kept on asking me all these questions. But I also handled it calmly, so I still think we're okay."

Addison nodded. "Good. Now we can move on and pretend that nothing ever happened."

"Right," Derek agreed. "It never happened and it was nothing."

xxxxx

"Something's going on with Dr. Shepherd," Izzie declared at the lunch table.

"Which one?" Alex asked. "He-Shepherd or She-Shepherd?"

"Derek," Izzie answered, rolling her eyes. "He was all nervous and stuttering, today."

"That's funny," Alex chuckled. "Because there's something going on with Addison too."

"Was she all nervous and clammy?" Izzie asked.

Alex shook his head. "No, she was…I don't know, she was almost….pleasant."

"Well, The Chief was pretty pissed at them," Cristina pointed out. "Maybe Derek was reacting to that."

"Could be," Izzie agreed.

"That still doesn't explain my Shepherd's sudden change in behavior," Alex said thoughtfully.

"Maybe she hasn't spoken to The Chief yet. Or maybe she got off lightly," Izzie suggested. "I kind of got the sense that The Chief likes your Shepherd more than he likes my Shepherd."

"Izzie, can we not call Derek _your_ Shepherd?" Meredith scolded. "And, Alex, since when is Addison _your_ Shepherd?"

"Since she decided to let me scrub in on her high profile surgery, today," Alex said matter-of-factly. "We're separating newborn conjoined twins."

"And She-Shepherd's letting _you_ scrub in?" George asked.

Alex nodded smugly. "If this keeps up, I may never go back to plastics."

"Man, your Shepherd kind of rocks," Izzie chuckled. "All I've gotten from my Shepherd, today, is stammering and awkwardness."

"That's more than I've gotten from him," Meredith complained. "Derek turned down sex with me, last night."

"Dude, that sucks," Alex laughed.

Meredith rolled her eyes at her friend. "And he's been, I don't know, he seemed different when he got back from the conference."

"Different how?" George asked.

"Well," Meredith began.

"Ugh, enough with the feelings and the sharing," Cristina groaned. "Can't we just eat lunch in peace? Look, Mer, I'm sure it's nothing. Derek went to a conference with his ex-wife and undoubtedly got lectured by The Chief…it's probably just stress."

"Maybe," Alex shrugged. "But something tells me that's not it."

xxxxx

As the weeks went on, things started to return to normal. Derek and Meredith seemed to be in a good place and, as much as it hurt, Addison was starting to get used to seeing her ex-husband with another woman. She only wished that her own life was going as well as her ex-husband's was. Even though she had become friends with Callie, and Alex Karev was becoming considerably more bearable, she was still an outcast at Seattle Grace. She was still Satan – the adulterous bitch, who had temporarily broken up Seattle Grace's golden couple.

For their part, Derek and Addison did their best to avoid each other. He felt lucky to have escaped what could have been a disastrous situation, and he worried that too much interaction with Addison might raise people's suspicions – especially since he still had a nagging feeling that The Chief and Izzie were onto him. Addison avoided interacting with Derek because he was her ex-husband, and he had moved on, and she hadn't yet, so spending time with him would just be painful. Those were the reasons that they allowed themselves to acknowledge. Neither would admit to the fact that they were purposefully avoiding each other because their night of mind-blowing sex was still seared in their memories. Derek knew his and Meredith's sex-life was suffering because of it; and Addison, unable to move past that night, hadn't slept with anyone since the conference. But they knew they couldn't think those thoughts or feel those feelings. What they did that night in Portland was unspeakable, and they had come out of it unscathed…or so they thought.

Because after three mornings in a row of incessant vomiting, Addison got up the nerve to buy a pregnancy test. And as she stood in the bathroom of her hotel room, and looked down at the little plus sign glaring back at her, she knew that what had happened between her and Derek at the conference was no longer just between the two of them.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Thank you so much for all of your nice feedback on the last chapter and on the story so far! I hope you like this chapter. Thanks for reading!

* * *

"Shit," Addison swore. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, and then glanced back down at the pregnancy test in her hand – still positive. "Damn it," she muttered. "This is bad. This is really, really bad."

But the more she got to thinking about it, the more she realized that her pregnancy might not be a bad thing. Sure, the logistics of the situation weren't ideal. But she wanted a baby. And she wanted a baby with Derek. Of course, she had kind of counted on her and Derek being a couple when they had a baby together, but she could do this on her own. She was now in a place in her life where she could do this alone. Her marriage with Derek was clearly over and, with the exception of that one night in Portland and some lingering feelings on her end, they were both moving on. She could handle this.

But then she thought about Derek. He and Meredith were together, but their relationship was still shaky. Meredith Grey had already proven that she was willing to put up with a lot of Derek's crap, but Addison highly doubted that Meredith would stay with Derek through something like this. And she couldn't help feeling guilty. Derek had wanted to come clean to Meredith about their night in Portland, but she had convinced him not to. It would have been a tough confession for Derek to make regardless, but telling Meredith now…well…that would be a death sentence for their relationship.

But she couldn't not tell Derek. Derek had the right to know that he was going to be a father, so, of course, she would tell him. In fact, she'd even do him one better; she'd tell him, and then she'd save him.

She caught up with Derek later that afternoon at work. "Hey, Derek, do you have a few minutes?" Addison asked her ex-husband, as she joined him by the nurses' station.

Derek looked at his watch. "I have surgery in an hour, but I've got a few minutes right now."

"We should probably talk after your surgery," Addison advised. She didn't need Derek cutting into someone's skull less than an hour after she gave him what could potentially be life-changing news.

Derek looked at his ex-wife curiously. "Is everything okay, Addison?"

"Everything's fine," Addison lied

"Addison," Derek scolded. "Do you honestly think I'm going to believe you? We were married for eleven years. You were my family. I can tell when you're lying to me."

Addison cringed at Derek's use of the word, 'family.' She met his eyes and gave him her most convincing smile. "Let's just talk about it when you get out of surgery, okay?"

Derek sighed. "Okay. Where should I meet you?"

"Let's meet in an on-call room," Addison suggested.

Derek shook his head firmly. "That's probably not a good idea. People have sex in on-call rooms all the time. We don't want someone to see us and jump to the wrong conclusion."

Addison stifled a chuckle. "Okay. How about we meet by the bench outside of the hospital?"

"Okay," Derek agreed. "I'll see you in a couple of hours then."

xxxxx

"Hey," Derek said, as he joined Addison on the bench outside the hospital.

"Hey," Addison said, offering her ex-husband a weak smile. "How'd the surgery go?"

"It went well," Derek grinned.

"So, your patient's out of the woods? No complications or anything?" Addison asked, doing her best to buy herself some more time.

"There was an unexpected bleed in the frontal lobe towards the end of the surgery," Derek responded. "But we caught it and got it under control."

"That's good," Addison said.

Derek couldn't help smiling at his and Addison's exchange. He couldn't remember a time when Addison wasn't interested in the surgeries he was performing. And even though he had discussed neurosurgery with some of the top brain surgeons in the world, he had to admit, his favorite conversations about neurosurgery were still the ones between him and Addison.

"So, uh, you wanted to talk?" Derek asked.

"Uh, yeah…yeah, I did. I mean, I do," Addison stammered, nervously looking around to make sure that nobody was in earshot.

Derek looked at his ex-wife in concern. He wasn't used to seeing Addison so frazzled. She was always so well put-together, so seeing her look so nervous worried him.

"Are you okay, Addie?" he asked his ex-wife softly.

Addison nodded. "Yeah," she said quietly. "I'm okay. It's just that, I…I'm pregnant, Derek."

Derek's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "What?" he breathed. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Addison said dryly. "I'm pretty sure I know how to read a pregnancy test."

"Oh my goodness," Derek gasped. "Seriously?"

Addison sighed. "Yes, seriously."

"I, uh, I don't know what to say," Derek stammered. "How long have you known?"

"Just since this morning," Addison answered. "And since you're at a loss for words, right now, I really need to say something to you, so I need you to listen, okay?"

Derek nodded mutely.

"I'm moving back to New York-"

"But-"

"You said you'd listen," Addison interrupted. "Derek, we're divorced now. You came out here and you fell in love with Meredith. And I've stood in the way of you two for long enough. And I get that me keeping your last name, and walking around the hospital wearing a lab coat with your name on it is uncomfortable for you and Meredith. But that was a professional decision, and it wasn't anything that you two couldn't handle. But this…me keeping your last name, and walking around the hospital wearing a lab coat with your name on it, while carrying your baby…there's no way to spin that as a professional decision, and something like this is gonna kill your relationship. So, I'm stepping aside. I'll move back to New York, and you can work on rebuilding your life here."

Derek swallowed hard. "But what about the baby?" he choked out. "A child deserves to know who her father is. And I want to know my child."

"Derek, I would never cut you out of your child's life."

"I mean, you kind of are," Derek mumbled.

Addison shook her head. "No, I'm giving you what you want. You've wanted me gone since the moment I got to Seattle, so I'm leaving. I don't know if you'll be able to save your relationship with Meredith. I mean, if you want a relationship with your child, you're gonna have to tell Meredith about what happened at the conference…and this kind of thing is hard to bounce back from…but you'll have a much better chance of salvaging things with her with me in New York. And you can still be a part of the baby's life...there's holidays and school breaks, and you pick up the phone and call anytime you want."

"I, uh," Derek stammered, overwhelmed by both the news that Addison had just dropped in his lap, and the plans that she was making for him.

"Trust me, Derek, this is for the best. So I just need you to tell me you're okay with this…and then I'll go to Richard and resign, and be on the first plane out of here."

Derek swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat. "I'm not okay with this," he choked out, his voice thick with emotion.

Addison sighed. "Well, you can take some time to think about it."

Derek shook his head. "I don't need time to think about it." He swallowed hard and met his ex-wife's eyes. "Don't go to New York, Addie," he whispered.

"What?"

"Stay."

"Derek, you realize that me staying is going to kill whatever chance you have at fixing your relationship with Meredith."

"Addison, you know better than anyone how hard it was for me to grow up without my father. I can't have my child grow up without her father around."

"Derek, it's not the same type of situation"

"Exactly," Derek agreed. "My father was shot. He didn't have a choice about abandoning his family. I have a choice, and I'm not going to abandon my child."

"Derek, it wouldn't be like that."

"But it would to me," Derek said softly. "Stay, Addison."

"Derek, I, are you sure about this?"

Derek nodded. "I'm sure. I mean, the decision's yours. But I, it's just…I think our baby deserves to have both her mother and her father in her life…even if we're not together anymore."

Addison sighed. "I, uh…wait, _her_?"

A slow smile spread over Derek's face. "You know, I didn't realize that I said her….but…yeah…I think it's a girl."

Addison swallowed hard. This wasn't what she was expecting at all. She was expecting broody anger. She was prepared for broody anger. She wasn't prepared for nice. She didn't know how to handle nice.

"What do think it is?" Derek asked, his eyes lighting up with excitement.

"Oh, I, uh…I haven't really thought about it," Addison stammered.

"Liar," Derek laughed.

Addison pretended to look hurt, but she couldn't help cracking a smile. "Okay," she admitted. "I'm thinking girl too."

"Wow, when was the last time we agreed on something?" Derek chuckled.

Addison rolled her eyes. "When we agreed to keep what happened at the conference just between us," she answered matter-of-factly.

"I guess that's not really an option anymore," Derek reflected.

Addison shook her head. "I guess not."

"So, uh, does that mean you're staying?" Derek asked quietly.

Addison sighed. "I guess. I mean, I may be Satan, but I'm not going to keep your child from you."

"Thanks, Addison," Derek smiled, reaching over and taking her hand in his. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

They sat there quietly for a few minutes, her hand still in his.

"Hey, Derek?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for not asking."

Derek looked at Addison in confusion.

"Thanks for not asking if it was your baby," Addison clarified. "I mean, with my recent history, the question wouldn't exactly be out of line. You had every right to ask me."

But Derek was fervently shaking his head. "If I didn't know you as well as I do, I'd have every right to ask you." He met her eyes and gave her a soft smile. "But I know you, Addison. I didn't have to ask."


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Thank you so much for all of your feedback on this story so far. Here's the next chapter. I hope you like it and, as always, thanks for reading!

* * *

"Richard, do you have a minute?" Addison asked, as she knocked lightly on the chief's office door.

Richard looked up from his paperwork and smiled. "Addison…Derek…sure, come on in."

"Thanks," Derek smiled, as he and Addison sat down across from the chief.

"So, what can I do for you?" Richard asked.

"We need to talk to you," Addison started.

"Both of you? Together?" Richard asked in surprise.

Addison and Derek nodded.

"Uh, okay then."

Addison looked at Derek, who nodded encouragingly at her. "Well, the thing is," Addison began, clearing her throat, "Derek and I have found ourselves in a delicate situation. And we want to be as professional as possible, so we're coming to you first."

"Okay…" the chief trailed off, his forehead wrinkling in confusion.

Addison sighed. "I'm pregnant."

"Wait, what?" Richard exclaimed, looking between Addison and Derek. "Are you sure?"

"For all the money you're paying me, Richard, you better hope I know how to read a pregnancy test," Addison said dryly. "I'm about six weeks," she continued with a sigh. "I wasn't planning on telling people so soon but, like I said, this is a delicate situation and we need to-"

"Wait," Richard cut in. You two have been divorced for almost three months. If you're only six weeks along…that means, that means-"

"We slept together after the divorce," Derek filled in.

Richard looked from Derek to Addison and took a shaky breath. "The conference that you two attended, but never went to…that was, that was a little over six weeks ago. Is that why you missed the conference? You know what, wait, don't tell me," Richard said, waving his hands in the air. "I don't want to know."

"Richard," Addison began.

"I can't believe the hospital funded an affair… and a baby between two people who aren't even together anymore," Richard breathed, massaging his temples with his fingers. "Wait, are you two getting back…you know what, that's none of my business either."

"We're not getting back together," Addison said, doing her best to keep her voice neutral. "Derek's going to try to save things with Meredith. And Derek and I…well, we're just going to be two divorced people raising a child together. It's really not that uncommon of a thing if you think about it."

"Right," Richard sighed, covering his face with his hands. "Of course, of course. How does something like this even happen?" he demanded.

Derek turned to Addison. "I think this is your field of expertise, Dr. Shepherd," he smirked. "Why don't you explain things to him?"

"That's not what I meant, Derek," Richard said dryly.

"Sorry," Derek apologized. "But, hey, if it makes you feel any better, technically, the hospital didn't fund this baby. The hotel gave us the room free of charge."

"That does _not_ make me feel better," Richard snapped. "This is going to have the hospital in hysterics."

"Richard," Addison cut in. "We know this situation isn't ideal, but Derek and I promise to keep things as professional as possible."

"That's right," Derek agreed. "And we know the logistics aren't exactly perfect, but we're both really happy about this."

"Well, I don't really think there's much more I can say," Richard sighed, "except, congratulations."

"Thank you," Derek and Addison smiled.

Richard shook his head in amusement, as he looked from Addison to Derek. "You know, for most of the time that I've known you two, I've been waiting for this announcement. Never in a million years was I expecting it to happen this way."

xxxxx

"Hello, Karev," Addison greeted her intern, as she walked into the NICU.

"Dr. Shepherd," Alex said, looking up from his chart. "I, uh, I wanted to ask you about Dr. Shepherd…uh, I mean, about Derek. I wanted to ask you about Derek."

Addison raised an eyebrow suspiciously. "What about Derek?" she asked slowly.

"Is he okay?"

"You're gonna have to be a little more specific than that, Karev," Addison teased, forcing a laugh.

Alex rolled his eyes. "I don't know, it's just, he was in here this morning when I came back from rounds."

"He was?" Addison asked in surprise.

Alex nodded.

"Uh, what was he…what was he doing in here?"

Alex shrugged. "He was just…looking at the babies. I mean, I know sometimes doctors go and look at the babies in the nursery when they're stressed or having a bad day…Grey and O'Malley do it all the time…but I don't think I've ever seen Shepherd do it before. And, I don't know, it didn't seem like he was stressed or having a bad day. I kind of got the feeling that he just wanted to be in here…and I kind of felt like I was intruding on something by coming in here with him. I don't know; the whole thing was just weird."

"Oh," Addison said quietly. It was all that she could get out.

Alex looked at his boss quizzically. "Are you okay, Dr. Shepherd?"

Addison quickly cleared her throat. "I, uh, I'm fine," she answered as professionally as she could. "Uh, so Derek was just looking at the babies when you came in here?"

"Yeah," Alex nodded. "I think. I mean, once I came in here, he started asking me about the babies…you know, he wanted to know their names, how long they've been in the NICU for…those types of things. But I don't know…I've never seen him like this before…I think something's wrong with him. And since you know him better than anyone, I figured I'd ask you first."

Addison shrugged. "I don't think there's anything wrong with him," she said as innocently as she could.

"I don't know," Alex disagreed. "I can't explain it…if you would have seen him, you'd understand. Something is definitely different about him."

"Maybe," Addison conceded. But she couldn't help agreeing with her intern. Something definitely was different about Derek Shepherd. And she, for one, was not about to complain about it.

xxxxx

"So, I broke the news to Meredith," Derek said, as he joined Addison by the nurses' station, later that day.

Addison looked up and met her ex-husband's eyes. "How'd it go?"

"Pretty much how I expected it to go," Derek answered. "A lot of yelling and crying and anger…all of it perfectly justified."

"I'm so sorry, Derek," Addison apologized.

"Yeah," Derek sighed. "Me too."

"So, uh, I take it things between you and Meredith are over?" Addison asked hesitantly.

Derek nodded. "They are. You know, I think I would have judged her a little if she agreed to stay with me after all this."

Addison stifled a laugh. "So, how long do you think it'll be before the rest of the hospital finds out?"

"With the way gossip spreads in this place, I'd be surprised if everyone else didn't already know," Derek chuckled.

Addison was about to respond, when a wave of nausea washed over her.

"You okay?" Derek asked Addison in concern. "You look kind of pale."

"Yeah," Addison said shakily. "It's just, uh, I…" But that was all she could get out before covering her mouth with her hand and running towards the women's bathroom, with Derek following closely behind her.

Derek watched Addison push open the door to the ladies' room. And as he helplessly stood outside, he felt like it was the morning of the medical conference all over again. But it wasn't. Because, this time, he found himself walking into the women's bathroom, doing his best to ignore the questioning stares of Karev, Yang, and O'Malley, who were standing nearby.

"Hey, Addie?" he called out softly as he made his way towards the stall that he knew she was in.

She didn't answer, but it didn't deter Derek. He lightly pushed open the unlocked door to the bathroom stall to find Addison hunched over the toilet, expelling the contents of her stomach.

Within seconds, Derek was kneeling down beside her, holding her hair back with one hand, rubbing circles on her back with the other. "Hey, it's okay," he said gently. "It's okay."

Addison turned to look at him. "Derek, what are you doing in here?"

It was a fair question. But, for some reason, Derek found himself unable to give her an answer. "I, uh," he began, swallowing hard. "I-"

But he was cut off by Addison, who had returned to being sick. And as he continued to hold her hair and rub her back, while she vomited violently into the toilet, an answer came to him. "I couldn't not be in here," he said softly. "It wouldn't feel right being anywhere else."

xxxxx

Word of Addison's pregnancy had spread like wildfire around Seattle Grace. Derek had raised a lot of eyebrows when several doctors and nurses had watched him follow Addison into the women's bathroom, and it didn't take people long to put two and two together. About a month and a half had passed since the rest of the hospital had found out that Derek and Addison were having a baby together; Addison was nearly twelve weeks along, and Derek felt like he was doing a good job taking everything in stride. Sure, things weren't perfect; if looks could kill, he'd surely be dead between all of the glares that Meredith and Mark had sent in his direction over the past month and a half. And while it hurt him to know that Mark was angry with him and that Meredith was devastated, he could handle it. But what was becoming increasing harder for him to handle was his relationship with Addison. When they were alone, things were great. Conversation was easy, and they could talk for hours about their baby and everything they needed to do to get ready for her. But, at the hospital, things were completely different. Addison had insisted upon scheduling doctor's appointments at the crack of dawn, before the interns were even in, and whenever he tried to talk to her about their baby, at the hospital, she shut down. She'd quickly change the subject or offer to talk about it later. And while these types of responses annoyed and confused him, things between him and Addison were good when they were outside of the hospital, so he didn't press the issue.

He did, however, press the issue when he overheard Addison telling Callie about how she was going house hunting and, after a couple of minutes of arguing, he managed to convince Addison to let him go along with her to look at houses. Addison couldn't understand why this was so important to him and, truth be told, he didn't quite know either, but he wanted to be there. He wanted to feel like he was playing a part in helping to choose his baby's first house – even though he knew that, at the end of the day, Addison's opinion was the only one that mattered.

"This is nice," Derek approved, as he and Addison walked into one of the houses that she was considering buying.

Addison shook her head. "It's not right."

"Addison, you said that about the last three houses we looked at," Derek sighed. "And I liked all of them."

"Then maybe you should buy one of them," Addison shot back.

"I have a home," Derek answered.

"You have a trailer," Addison said smugly.

"I have a home," Derek repeated. "Besides, this is supposed to be about you finding a house, not me. So, what's wrong with this one?"

"It's not right," Addison said.

"Yeah, I got that," Derek muttered.

"Derek," Addison scolded, "I told you a thousand times that you didn't need to come house hunting with me."

"And _I_ told _you_ a thousand times that I wanted to be here for this," Derek reminded her.

"Fine," Addison sighed. "But you know better than anyone how picky I am…so you can't get frustrated with me."

"Fine," Derek agreed. "So, uh, how do you know when a house is right anyway? I mean, besides the trailer, I guess the last place I owned was the brownstone. And I remember when we looked at it, it felt right…but I can't remember what about it felt right."

Addison gave Derek a warm smile. "That's exactly it. When something's right, it just feels…right."

"And this house isn't right?" Derek asked.

Addison shook her head. "No."

"Then what do you say we move onto the next house on your list?"

"Okay," Addison agreed.

Fifteen minutes later, Derek and Addison were walking into a large Victorian house.

"Wow," Derek gasped. He watched as Addison carefully assessed the living room, and then moved into the kitchen. "What do you think?" he asked.

"I like it," Addison smiled. "What do you think?"

"I love it."

"I'm gonna go look upstairs," Addison said. "Do you want to come?"

"Uh, I think I'm just gonna stay here a little longer," Derek answered. "I'll meet you upstairs in a few minutes."

"Okay," Addison nodded, as she began to make her way up the stairs.

Derek couldn't help smiling. The house was perfect – understated, but elegant, and so completely Addison. He could just picture his life in this house. He could just picture the mantelpiece covered with photographs of his and Addison's baby. He could just picture the house during Christmas time – he could see the Christmas tree in the corner of the living room, and he could just see his, Addison's, and their baby's Christmas stockings hanging over the electric fireplace. But as he made his way upstairs to join Addison, those thought were replaced by another thought. This wouldn't be his house. He wouldn't have any say in deciding which pictures were put on the mantelpiece. He wouldn't have a say in where they put the Christmas tree. And he wouldn't have a stocking over the fireplace.

Addison turned when she heard Derek's footsteps behind her. "Have you looked around up here?" she asked.

"No, not yet," Derek answered, still trying to push his thoughts from before out of his mind.

"You should," Addison smiled. "I think, I think I like this room for the nursery. What do you think?"

Derek swallowed hard. "It's perfect," he said softly. "Baby Shep is gonna love it."

"Baby Shep?" Addison asked, raising an eyebrow.

Derek grinned. "Do you like it?"

"I-"

"Come on, Addie; it's the perfect nickname. I mean, I still think we're having a girl, but if we're not, it'll make us pretty terrible parents if we continuously refer to our baby as 'she,' only to find out that it's a boy. Baby Shep works for a boy or a girl."

"I don't know," Addison said warily.

"You'll warm up to it," Derek insisted. "Besides, we need to come up with something…because I don't like the idea of calling our baby 'it' or 'the baby.' And other unisex nicknames, like Peanut…well, we're not really those types of people. And I mean I guess McBaby is always an option, but-"

"McBaby is _not_ an option," Addison interrupted.

"Yeah, I had a feeling you'd be against it," Derek laughed. "But I really do think Baby Shep is perfect."

"What about my last name?" Addison asked. "You know I want our child to have my name too."

"I thought about that," Derek admitted. "But Baby Montgomery Shepherd is a mouthful. And besides, you kept my last name, so I still think Baby Shep works."

"Baby Shep," Addison said, testing the name out. "I'll think about it."

"Good," Derek smiled. "So, what do you think of the house?"

Addison smiled widely. "I think this one's the one. It just, it feels…it feels…"

"Right," Derek said softly.

"Yeah," Addison whispered, meeting Derek's eyes. "This feels right."


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Here's the next chapter. Hope you like it. Thanks so much for reading! :)

* * *

"Derek, you really didn't have to help me move in," Addison insisted, two weeks later, as Derek carried another couple of boxes into Addison's new house. "I really could have hired movers."

"Addison, you hire movers to move in heavy things, like furniture," Derek laughed. "Not your clothes and shoes. I mean, I get that you have a lot of them…but still."

Addison shook her head in amusement. "Well, at least let me get you a drink. I've got a bottle of decent scotch that I can't drink anytime soon, so if you're interested…"

"Sounds good," Derek smiled. "Why don't you pour me a glass of scotch, and I'll bring in the last couple of boxes," Derek suggested.

Addison nodded, and Derek stood there for a moment watching her as she removed a bottle of scotch from the liquor cabinet. He didn't know whether it was his imagination, but it looked like Addison was starting to show. At fourteen weeks, it made sense. He'd been watching for signs of a baby bump for a couple of weeks now, but it seemed that whenever he saw her at work, she was always wearing loose-fitting scrubs. But, right now, she was wearing jeans and a close-fitting cashmere sweater, and she was definitely starting to show.

"You're staring," Addison said, snapping Derek out of his haze.

"Oh, uh, sorry," Derek apologized. "I'll go grab those boxes."

Derek made his way out to Addison's car to retrieve the final couple of boxes, and when he lifted the last box off the back seat of Addison's car, something caught his eye. It was a babies' clothing catalog. Actually, it was a catalog devoted entirely to babies' hats and beanies. And as Derek flipped through the pages of the catalog, he noticed that Addison had circled several items in the catalog. Smiling, he placed the catalog on top of the boxes, and went back into Addison's new house.

"Double scotch, single malt" Addison smiled, handing Derek a tumbler full of amber liquid. "Hey, so I was thinking, maybe we could…why are you looking at me like that?"

Derek couldn't help grinning. "I found this," he said, holding up the catalog. "I didn't know that they made catalogs devoted exclusively to babies' hats. I didn't know people subscribed to catalogs devoted entirely to babies' hats."

Addison smiled self-consciously. "I think they're cute," she confessed. "Did you look through the catalog?"

"Just briefly," Derek admitted.

"You should look through it," Addison advised. "There are a lot of really cute hats in there that I want to get for Baby Shep."

"Baby Shep?" Derek asked, raising an eyebrow.

"The name's growing on me," Addison chuckled.

"Ha. I knew you'd warm up to it," Derek gloated. "So have you ordered any of these yet?" Derek asked, gesturing to the hats in the catalog.

Addison shook her head. "Not yet. There are a lot of great unisex hats in there, but I want to wait until we find out whether Baby Shep is a boy or a girl before I buy anything."

"Makes sense," Derek agreed. "So, uh, you do want to find out the sex? You want to find out if Baby Shep's a boy or a girl?"

"Yeah," Addison smiled. "I mean, the alternative, for me, would be not looking at the ultrasounds, and that's not something I'm willing to do."

"Right," Derek nodded. "I want to find out ahead of time too. I mean, I've been reading up on it, and there's a whole list of pros and cons for both finding out ahead of time and for waiting, but I really want know ahead of time."

"Me too," Addison agreed. "It'll make decorating and buying clothes a lot easier."

"And think of all the expensive baby hats we'll be able to buy for Baby Shep," Derek teased.

"Oh, come on," Addison defended. "You've got to admit, these little hats are pretty cute."

Derek couldn't help cracking a smile. The hats in Addison's catalog were freakin' adorable. "I don't know," he said coyly as he flipped open the catalog. "I think I'm going to need some more convincing."

xxxxx

"So, guess who now subscribes to your catalog devoted exclusively to babies' hats?" Derek smiled, as he joined Addison by the nurses' station the next day at work.

"Derek, can we talk about this later?" Addison asked.

"Uh, okay," Derek said, a little taken back by Addison's brusqueness. "You know," he began, with a smile, "I kind of went a little crazy, and subscribed to a couple of other catalogs too. I didn't realize how many catalogs there are for buying baby things."

"Derek," Addison begged. "I glad you're excited. I really am. But I don't want to talk about this now, okay?"

"Why?" Derek asked in confusion.

"Please just drop it, Derek."

Derek jammed a hand on his hip in annoyance. "No," he insisted. "I'm not going to drop it. Yesterday, we spent hours talking about Baby Shep and looking at babies' hats together, and now, today, you're acting like you can't even be bothered. What's going on, Addison?"

"Derek, let's just talk later, okay?" Addison pleaded.

Addison sighed in frustration; she could see the determination on Derek's face, and she knew he wasn't going to back down. She could also see a group of nurses gathering, as they tried (but failed miserably) to be discrete, as they attempted to overhear the conversation between her and Derek.

"Let's talk about this in an on-call room," Addison muttered. "We don't need the entire hospital overhearing this."

Derek nodded, and the two of them made their way into the first available on-call room. Addison immediately locked the door behind them, and did her best not to think about all of the hospital gossip that was sure to circulate because of this.

Addison looked at her ex-husband pointedly. "What do want from me, Derek?" she asked in exasperation.

Derek folded his arms across his chest. "Why won't you talk to me about Baby Shep when we're at work?"

"What are you talking about, Derek?"

"You know what I'm talking about, Addison. This has been happening for a while now. Every time I try to talk to you about something baby-related, at work, you completely shut down."

"I'm being professional, Derek."

"It seems like you're hiding or afraid of something," Derek countered. "You schedule all of your doctor's appointments and ultrasounds for the crack of dawn. I mean, almost nobody's awake, let alone, at work at that time."

"That's the point," Addison said, rolling her eyes. "Those doctor's appointments…this baby…this is our business. I'd rather not have our coworkers know that we're running off to doctor's appointments in the middle of the day. I want to keep this as private as possible."

Derek ran a hand through his hair. "I just, I don't get it," he admitted. "Everyone already knows we're having a baby together. And when it's just you and me, things are fine. Hell, things are great. But then we go to work, and things are completely different."

"So?" Addison asked, frustration creeping into her voice.

"I just don't see why things have to be so different at work," Derek persisted. "I mean, who cares if our coworkers know we're going to a doctor's appointment? And what's the big deal if we talk about Baby Shep at work? And since when do you only wear scrubs to work? It's like you're embarrassed or something." He looked at her closely. "Do you even want a baby?"

"I didn't say that," Addison defended, her eyes widening in surprise at Derek's accusation. "Yes, I want a baby."

"No, I'm not talking about _a_ baby. _This_ baby, with me."

"Derek," Addison choked out, tears pricking her eyes, "you know that's not fair."

She was right, and Derek knew it. A couple of weeks earlier, Addison had told him about everything that had happened between her and Mark in New York, and about her abortion. Derek knew that while Addison's decision to abort Mark's child had been the right decision for her at the time, it hadn't been an easy decision for her to make. And Derek knew very well how excited Addison was about Baby Shep. His accusation was a low blow.

"I'm sorry," he apologized. "I-I don't know why I said that. I didn't mean that, I really didn't. You know I don't think that. I was just, I don't know, confused."

Addison glared at him. "What do you want from me, Derek?" she snapped angrily. "Do you want me to be one of those people who talks non-stop about their baby at work? Do you want me to go around showing ultrasound pictures to people who could care less? When Baby Shep starts to move around and kick, do you want me to make a big, showy display of taking your hands and placing them on my stomach in front of all of our colleagues? Because I _don't_ want that. I don't want that, Derek."

"I just," Derek stammered.

But Addison cut him off. "I know that that this baby cost you your relationship with Meredith. I get that…and I'm even a little sorry about it because you made it perfectly clear to me that you fell in love with her. And even though things between you and me didn't work out, I still care about you, and I want you to be happy. But, Derek, this baby…this pregnancy…is completely different for me than it is for you. At Seattle Grace, you're still McDreamy. Sure, some people think you messed up, but nobody's really holding it against you. But me…I'm Satan, and people aren't as forgiving. And, sure, I can pretend that I don't care that all of the interns can't stand me, or that Mark is refusing to speak to me or, let alone, look at me. And I can pretend that I don't hear all the vicious gossip that's going around about how I'm probably not even having your baby, and am lying to you in order to trap you or get revenge or something."

"People are saying that?" Derek asked in astonishment.

Addison rolled her eyes at her ex-husband's naiveté. "Of course people are saying that. And-"

"Addison, I had no idea," Derek choked out, feeling sickened by the maliciousness of their coworkers' gossip. "I can-"

"Don't worry about it," Addison interrupted. "Because I can pretend that I'm okay with all of it. But, Derek, just because I'm pretending that all of this stuff doesn't bother me, it still wears a person down. So I'd prefer not to draw any more attention to myself by scheduling doctors' appointments in the middle of the workday. And as much as I love talking about Baby Shep outside of work, I'd prefer to keep those conversations outside of work. And if wearing loose-fitting scrubs instead of my usual clothes is gonna give me a few extra weeks of being able to walk around the hospital without people looking at my stomach judgmentally, I'll take it."

"Addison, I didn't know. I wasn't even thinking-"

"It's fine," Addison interrupted, wiping away a tear from her cheek.

"No, it's not fine," Derek insisted. "Addison, I had no idea. Can I do something for you? What can I do for you?"

"Can we just change the subject?" Addison pleaded.

"I," Derek started. He really didn't want to change the subject, but Addison seemed desperate.

"Derek, please," she begged.

"Okay," Derek agreed, swallowing hard. "Uh, so, do you have any plans for tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow, as in Thanksgiving?" Addison asked raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah," Derek nodded.

Addison shrugged. "I don't know. I was just planning on ordering Chinese food. Maybe I'll work on decorating the house a little. But no big plans."

Derek couldn't help smiling at Addison's Thanksgiving plans, as he remembered all the Thanksgivings that they had spent together in med school eating bad Chinese food, instead of turkey. It was funny because, bad as the Chinese food was, those were still some of the best Thanksgivings of his life.

"So, do you think we could get of this on-call room soon?" Addison asked, cutting into Derek's thoughts. "We promised Richard we'd keep things professional."

"Uh, yeah, yeah, let's get out of here," Derek said.

"Okay," Addison nodded, as she began making her way towards the door.

"Hey, Addison," Derek called out.

Addison turned to face him. "Yeah?"

"We're okay, right? I mean, you and me…we're okay?"

"Yeah," Addison sighed. "We're okay."

"Good," Derek nodded. "That's good." Except it wasn't good. Because as much as he and Addison could insist that they were okay, they both knew they were lying to themselves.

xxxxx

"Hi, I'm here to pick-up an order for Shepherd," Addison said to the woman behind the counter at the Chinese takeout restaurant.

"Yes," the woman nodded. "That'll be one minute"

"Okay, great," Addison smiled.

"Still using your married name I see," a male voice rang out behind Addison.

Addison turned at the sound of the unmistakably familiar voice. "Derek, what are you doing here?"

Derek smiled. "You know, ever since you mentioned that you were planning on having Chinese food today, I've been craving it." He turned to the woman behind the counter. "Pick-up for Shepherd."

"You've been _craving_ Chinese food, Derek?" Addison asked, raising an eyebrow.

"What, do you think you've got a monopoly on cravings or something?" Derek teased.

"No, I just, I thought you'd be doing something a little more traditional for Thanksgiving."

"Hey, we had Chinese food every year in med school," Derek defended. "As far as I'm concerned, this is traditional."

"Uh, I'm sorry," the woman behind the counter cut in. She gestured towards the two bags of Chinese takeout on the counter. "We don't know whose order is whose. Both of you ordered under the same name."

"Oh," Derek laughed. "We can fix that. Um, what did you order, Addison?"

"Oh, uh, I ordered vegetable dumplings, chicken and vegetables, and mango chicken," Addison answered.

"Seriously?" Derek asked.

Addison looked at him suspiciously. "Yeah. Why?"

"I ordered the exact same thing," Derek laughed. "Hey, why'd you order chicken and vegetables? You know that's my favorite dish."

Addison did know that it was his favorite dish and, truth be told, she hadn't ordered it for herself. She had been secretly hoping that Derek might stop by her house tonight, and she wanted to have something he liked. But she couldn't tell him that. "Oh, uh, I guess I just ordered it out of habit," she lied. "So why'd you get the mango chicken. You know that's my favorite dish."

"I know," Derek grinned. "I was kind of planning on showing up at your place tonight with Chinese food, and surprising you." Derek met Addison's eyes and gave her a soft smile. "So, uh, we have a lot of Chinese food…that we both really like…so…"

"Derek," Addison smiled, "do you want to come back to my place?"

A slow smile spread across Derek's face. "Yeah," he said softly. "I'd like that."

xxxxx

"Hey, Addison, can I ask you something?" Derek began hesitantly. He and Addison had just finished their Chinese food, and had moved over to the couch in the living room.

"Uh, yeah," Addison responded in an equally hesitant voice.

Derek took a deep breath. "Do you think that I'm unhappy?"

"What gave you that idea, Derek?"

"Yesterday, in the on-call room, you said that you wanted me to be happy…you said that even though things between us didn't work out, you still want me to be happy…and that I made you believe that Meredith made me happy."

"Didn't she?" Addison asked.

Derek hesitated a moment. "She did," he answered finally. "But I'm happy now…you know that, right? You know how much I want to be a father. And I'd chose having a relationship with Baby Shep over having a relationship with a woman any day. I'm happy, Addison. I just, I don't want you to think otherwise."

Addison swallowed hard. "I was kind of unfair to you yesterday," she admitted.

Derek shook his head. "No, if anything, I was unfair to you. I shouldn't have asked you if you wanted this baby. You know I never doubted that, right?"

Addison nodded. "I know. Still, I shouldn't shut down when you want to talk about Baby Shep, at work. You've been nothing short of amazing since I told you I was pregnant, so if you want to talk about Baby Shep at work, you should be able to. Besides, I'd rather deal with our coworkers' snide remarks than raise a baby with a man who has no interest in being a father or who wants no part in his child's life. And that's definitely not you, Derek." Addison swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat, and met Derek's eyes. "You know, I've always believed this, but I know now more than ever that you're going to be an incredible father."

"Thanks," Derek smiled. "And I'm not just saying this, but Baby Shep couldn't ask for a better mother."

"Thanks, Derek."

Derek gave Addison a soft smile, and Addison felt her heart begin to race as Derek drew her in closer and softly brushed his lips against hers. She hesitated just a second before kissing him back, wrapping her arms around his neck, and running her hands through his wavy hair. She felt Derek begin to tease her lips with his tongue, as if asking permission to deepen the kiss, and she parted her lips a bit more, her tongue now meshing with his.

"Derek," she breathed, fighting the urge to lose herself in the kiss completely.

"Hmm," he murmured in between kisses.

"Derek, we can't do this," Addison whispered, pulling away.

Derek swallowed hard, and looked into Addison's eyes. She was right; they couldn't do this. "I'm sorry," he breathed. "I uh, I don't know what I was thinking."

"I, um," Addison stammered, her eyes still clouded with desire.

"Things aren't going to be weird between us?" Derek asked, desperate to avoid the awkward silence that seemed to be looming. "I mean, we just kissed, right? It's not that big of a deal."

"Yeah," Addison agreed quickly. "It was just a kiss. I mean, we were married for eleven years…we're having a baby together…something like this was bound to happen."

"Right," Derek nodded.

"So, we're okay?" Addison asked hesitantly.

"Yeah, we're okay," Derek said, doing his best to give her a convincing smile. "I, uh, I should probably go though."

"Derek, you don't have to."

"I know, but…I should, I should go."

"Okay, yeah," Addison conceded, trying to hide the disappointment in her voice, as she walked Derek to the door, and handed him his jacket.

Derek accepted his jacket, and met Addison's eyes. "Happy Thanksgiving, Addie," he said softly.

"Happy Thanksgiving, Derek."

Derek smiled and gently brought his hand to Addison's stomach. "Happy Thanksgiving, Baby Shep." He looked up at Addison. "I'll see you tomorrow at work?"

She nodded mutely.

"Okay. Bye, Addie." And even though he really didn't want to leave, and even though Addison secretly wished he'd stay, Derek reached for the doorknob and reluctantly let himself out of Addison's house.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: I hope you're all still enjoying this story. For those of you who liked the length of the last chapter, you're in for another long chapter with this one – it's a _very_ long chapter, but it didn't feel right breaking it up into two shorter chapters. Anyway, I hope you like it. And, as always, thanks so much for reading!

* * *

Nearly a month had passed, and Addison and Derek seemed to have recovered from the kiss that they had shared on Thanksgiving. Sure, they both thought about the kiss more often than they probably should have, but they somehow managed to avoid the awkwardness that they were certain would ensue, and they were grateful for that. Addison was now pushing eighteen weeks, and had given up on hiding her pregnancy at work and Derek, for one, was glad. She still refused to talk too openly about Baby Shep at work, but she no longer shut down when Derek brought up their baby, during the workday.

The workday had just come to a close, and Derek was waiting for Addison in the hospital lobby. It was a habit that they had fallen into over the past couple of weeks; if their shifts ended at the same time, they would wait for each other in the hospital lobby and leave together. Sometimes they'd just walk to their cars together. Other times they'd grab a bite to eat together at a nearby restaurant. And sometimes Derek would go to Addison's place, and they'd have dinner together there.

"So," Derek began, as he and Addison left the hospital lobby and began walking towards their cars, "I'll see you bright and early, tomorrow, for our doctor's appointment…6 in the morning, right?"

"Oh, uh, I meant to tell you that I rescheduled it," Addison said, giving Derek an apologetic smile.

"Oh, uh, okay," Derek stammered. Truth be told, he'd really been looking forward to their upcoming doctor's appointment; this was the appointment where he and Addison were hoping to find out whether Baby Shep was a boy or a girl. And, with Christmas and New Years coming up, he figured that Addison had probably pushed the appointment back until after the holidays.

"So, when did you reschedule for?" Derek asked.

"It's still tomorrow" Addison answered. "But I moved it to 2 in the afternoon."

Derek felt a slow smile spread across his face. "Why'd you do that?" he asked; he knew that Addison still wasn't thrilled by the idea of leaving in the middle of the workday to go to doctors' appointments.

Addison shrugged. "Consider it my Christmas present to you. Besides," Addison continued, "I'm going to need some good karma to get me through the Christmas that I have planned."

Derek couldn't help chuckling at this. Addison had planned the Christmas from hell. She was flying out to Connecticut, early on Christmas Eve morning, to spend Christmas with her family, who she still hadn't told about her pregnancy. Derek had known Bizzy and The Captain for over a decade, and anyone who even remotely knew Addison's parents knew how important it was for them to be sure that their family maintained a picture-perfect image. Somehow, he had a hard time believing that Bizzy and The Captain would be jumping for joy when Addison told them that she was pregnant with her ex-husband's baby – even if it was their first grandchild. Derek had offered to go with her to soften the blow, but she declined, saying that it wasn't worth it for both of them to have miserable Christmases.

"Anyway," Addison continued, "I checked the surgical board, and you don't have anything scheduled for 2 tomorrow, so we should be okay."

"Addison," Derek chided. "Even if I did have something scheduled, we'd find a way around it. This is Baby Shep we're talking about. I don't want to miss this."

Addison gave Derek a weak smile, and swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat. Derek was changing. Back in New York, it was always one more surgery, one more hour at the hospital, or 'we'll discuss it later, Addison.' But ever since he had found out she was pregnant, things had been different. And even though she was getting used to Derek being the Derek that he was when she first married him, it still caught her a little off guard when he talked about how much his family, or his life outside of the hospital, meant to him.

"So, do you want to get dinner somewhere?" Derek asked, ripping Addison from her thoughts. "There's a really good sandwich and salad place, near the hospital, that I think you'd like…and the service is quick too because, if I know you, you haven't even started packing for Connecticut yet…and you probably want to get home and do that."

Addison couldn't help smiling at this. Even after everything that had happened between them, nobody knew her better than Derek did. He was right; she hadn't started packing for Connecticut yet. And a sandwich or a salad sounded pretty good right now. "Okay," she agreed. "Let's go."

xxxxx

"So, this is going to be a bit cold," Addison's OB, Jane Galvin, warned, as she squirted some gel onto Addison's exposed abdomen, and began scanning. "Everything looks good," Jane smiled. "Everything looks really good. So," Jane said, turning her attention to Addison and Derek, "do you want to find out the sex of your baby?"

Derek looked at Addison and smiled. "We do," he answered.

Jane turned to Addison. "Would you like to read it for yourself, or would you prefer if I told you?"

Addison smiled guiltily. "I, uh…actually…" she trailed off.

Jane gave Addison a knowing smile. "You know, the same thing happened to me with my first child," she admitted. "I'll give you two some time alone."

"What's going on?" Derek asked in confusion, once Jane had left the room.

"I know the sex," Addison confessed. "I caught a glimpse at the beginning of the exam."

"And you made it through the entire exam without telling me? I wouldn't have been able to keep it quiet," Derek admitted. "I would have had to tell you."

Addison smiled. "So, do you want to know?" she asked.

"Of course," Derek nodded. He looked around the room, and noticed that all of the ultrasound equipment was still out. "Wait," he began hesitantly. "You're not going to make me try to figure it out, are you?"

"No," Addison laughed. "I'm pretty sure your days as an OB ended that day, during your OB rotation, when you told that couple that they were having a boy, when they were really having a girl."

"Oh, come on, Addie, I wasn't that bad," Derek defended, doing his best not to laugh. "I mean, how was I supposed to know that that was a finger?"

Addison chuckled at the memory. "I mean, the four other fingers surrounding it could have given it away," she deadpanned.

"Yeah, yeah," Derek muttered. "But I wasn't nearly as bad as Mark was. Remember that time he told that couple that they were having twins when they really weren't."

"Oh, yeah," Addison laughed. "I forgot about that. That was pretty terrible."

"But in his defense, that really was kind of a big baby," Derek chuckled.

Addison shook her head in amusement. "You two seriously had no respect for my specialty. I'm still not sure if either of you do."

"Hey, I have a lot of respect for your specialty," Derek insisted. "Especially, right now," he continued, his voice softening. "Because, without you, I wouldn't know if Baby Shep's a boy or a girl. So…" he trailed off.

Addison met Derek's eyes and smiled. "We're having a girl, Der. We're having a little girl."

Addison felt her heart flutter, as she watched Derek's eyes light up in excitement. "A girl," he said softly.

Addison couldn't keep the smile off her face, as she continued to watch Derek's reaction. "Wow," Derek breathed, still grinning widely. "It's crazy…I mean, we both had a feeling that Baby Shep was going to be a girl, but it still feels…wow." He turned his attention to Addison. "You're happy, right?" he asked.

"I'm happy," Addison smiled. "Are you happy?"

"Very happy," Derek nodded. "I, uh," he stammered, reaching into the right pocket of his lab coat. "I know you're going to get her the most amazing things, but I…I kind of wanted to get her started," he said, as he pulled out a small, pale pink baby hat, with a cream bow on it. "It's from your catalog," Derek explained. "It was my favorite."

"Derek," Addison choked out, struggling to fight back the tears that were stinging her eyes. "It's perfect."

Derek couldn't help smiling at Addison's reaction to his gift. "I can't wait to see her in it," he said softly.

"Me too," Addison agreed. "Thanks for doing this, Derek."

Derek gave Addison a warm smile before gently kissing her temple. "So, you really like the hat?" he asked; he knew how particular Addison was when it came to clothing and fashion.

Addison met Derek's eyes and smiled. "I love it," she said softly. "And even if I didn't, I love the fact that you thought to do something like this, Derek. But I really do love the hat…although," she began with a slight laugh, "what would you have done if Baby Shep turned out to be a boy? I mean, this hat is pretty feminine."

"I had a feeling she'd be a girl," Derek admitted with a chuckle. "But I was prepared just in case." He reached into the left pocket of his lab coat and pulled out a pale blue crocheted baby hat. "See," he said, showing the hat to Addison.

Addison couldn't help cracking a smile. But this moment of happiness was quickly replaced by a moment of realization. As she looked at Derek, who was smiling widely, with a little pink hat in his right hand and a little blue hat in his left, she knew she loved him. And not in the, 'he's the father of my child so, of course, I love him,' type of way; but in the 'he's the love of my life,' type of way.

But she knew she couldn't feel those feelings. Derek had made it perfectly clear that there was a time when he considered her the love of his life…but things change. And even though Derek, in a matter of months, had gone from not caring to being quite possibly the most attentive man in Seattle, Addison knew it was wrong for her to think of Derek as anything but the father of her child. She and Derek hadn't worked for a reason…he wasn't in love with her anymore. And, sure, it hurt, but she could bear it. She could bear it because Derek was so undeniably in love with their daughter and, for now, that was enough. It would have to be enough. So, Addison did the only thing she could do – she pulled herself together, doing her best to push any romantic feelings she was having for her ex-husband out of her head, and went back to enjoying her moment of happiness with Derek.

xxxxx

"Merry Christmas, Addison," Bizzy's PA, Susan, greeted, as Addison walked through the front door of her parents' Connecticut mansion.

"Merry Christmas, Susan," Addison smiled. "How've you been?"

I'm good," Susan answered. "Can I take your jacket?"

"Oh, um, I," Addison stammered uncomfortably, hesitant to remove her jacket just yet; with her jacket on, she could still somewhat conceal her pregnancy. "I can hang it up," Addison offered. She knew that once her jacket came off, she wouldn't be able to hide her baby bump, and even though Addison and Bizzy never had a close relationship, she still felt like it would be wrong if her mother's PA found out that she was pregnant before her mother did.

"Are you sure you don't want me to take your coat?" Susan asked. "It's really no trouble."

"Oh, no, I don't mind," Addison insisted.

"Okay," Susan nodded. "Everyone's in the living room, so you can meet them in there once you're ready."

"Great. Thanks, Susan," Addison smiled. She waited for Susan to walk away before slipping off her jacket, and hanging it up in the closet. Then, taking a deep breath, and plastering a fake smile on her face, Addison began making her way towards the living room, preparing herself for what was sure to be an unbearable couple of days.

"Merry Christmas," Addison smiled, as she entered the living room.

"Addison," Bizzy gasped. "You're pregnant."

"Wow," Archer muttered, as The Captain tightened his grip on his gin and tonic.

But all of this went unnoticed by Addison. Her attention was completely focused on Derek, who was sitting next to The Captain on the Montgomery's fancy leather couch, with a scotch in his hand.

"Derek," Addison breathed, "what are you doing here?"

"Is Derek the father?" Archer asked in disbelief. "I thought he left you for that slutty intern."

"Addison, what's going on?" Bizzy demanded.

"I, uh, I didn't want you to have to break the news to your family alone," Derek said softly. "So I called Bizzy, and asked her if it was okay for me to spend the holidays with your family. I flew out this morning...I just-"

"Addison," Bizzy interrupted harshly. "Would you care explaining to the rest of the family what exactly is going on here?"

"Okay," Addison nodded, taking a seat next to Derek on the couch. "What do you want to know?"

"Are you and Derek together?" Bizzy asked.

Addison shook her head. "We're divorced."

"But you're having his baby, I assume?" Bizzy pressed.

"Yes," Addison nodded.

"And was this baby conceived while you two were still married?" Bizzy asked hopefully.

"Is that really important, Bizzy?" Addison asked in frustration.

"I think it is," Bizzy answered innocently. "I'm just thinking about what I'm going to tell the women in my social circles. It would sound a lot better if you two were still married when your baby was conceived."

Addison rolled her eyes. "You can tell your friends whatever you want, Bizzy. It doesn't really doesn't matter to me."

"They definitely weren't still married when that baby was conceived," Archer chuckled knowingly. "I'd say that baby is the result of relapse sex," Archer assessed, taking another sip of his scotch. "Probably drunken relapse sex."

"Archer," The Captain scolded. "That really isn't any of our business."

"Hmm," Bizzy said thoughtfully, "maybe I'll just put off telling people about this…you know, until we can come up with a better cover story, as a family. We don't want the truth getting out. Addison's adultery was hard enough for us to bounce back from."

"That's not true, Bizzy," Archer disagreed. "Derek ended up dating a twelve-year-old intern…we just spun it as a mid-life crisis, on his part, remember?"

"Thanks," Derek muttered dryly.

"Hey, anytime," Archer smirked, raising his scotch glass in Derek's direction.

"Anyway," Bizzy cut in, shooting her family a warning look. "Nobody is going to say a word about this to anyone until we agree on a suitable cover story, okay?"

"Okay," The Captain and Archer agreed.

"Addison…Derek?" Bizzy asked, narrowing her gaze at her daughter and former son-in law.

"Okay," Addison and Derek said together.

"You know," Derek began, taking a sip of his scotch, "this may not have been a planned pregnancy, but Addison and I are really excited about this baby."

"That's nice," Bizzy said dismissively; and Addison could tell that her mother was still trying to come up a cover story that her society friends would find acceptable.

"So, how's the slutty intern handling the fact that her boyfriend and his ex-wife are having a lovechild together?" Archer chuckled. "What's her name again, Marybeth?"

"Meredith," Derek corrected his ex-brother-in-law. "Her name is Meredith. And we're not together anymore."

"Well, that's good," Bizzy approved. "That I can work with. I, uh, I've got to get something from my bedroom. I'll be right back," she said, excusing herself from the living room, and making her way upstairs.

"I'm going to refresh my drink," The Captain announced, making his way into the kitchen. "Does anyone need anything?"

Addison, Derek, and Archer shook their heads.

"What's with him?" Addison asked, once her father had left the room. "He seems more tolerable than usual."

"He got laid this morning," Archer explained. "Some twenty-eight-year-old intern at the hospital he works at." Archer turned to Derek. "Looks like you're not the only one who's into interns."

"Archer," Addison scolded.

Archer shrugged nonchalantly. "Just pointing out the obvious."

"I, uh, I think I'm going to use your restroom," Derek cut in quickly, desperate for a moment to himself; he had forgotten how stressful Addison's family could be. "I'll be right back."

Derek made his way up the stairs, pushed open the door to the bathroom, and gasped at the sight in front of him – Bizzy had Susan pressed up against the wall, and they were making out heatedly.

"Oh, wow, I uh, I," Derek stammered, suddenly incapable of forming words.

"Derek," Bizzy breathed.

"I, uh, I was just leaving," Derek stuttered uncomfortably, backing out of the bathroom. "I'm so sorry. I didn't-"

"Derek," Bizzy interrupted sharply.

"Yes?" Derek said hesitantly.

"It's okay," Bizzy said calmly.

"It's okay?" Derek repeated in confusion. "I just walked in on you cheating on your husband…with a woman….and all you can say is 'it's okay.' How is this possibly okay?"

"The Captain knows," Bizzy explained.

"Knows what?" Derek asked. "That you're cheating on him? That you're a…a…a-"

"Lesbian," Bizzy filled in. "Yes, The Captain knows I'm gay, and he knows about me and Susan."

"You're a lesbian?" Derek asked in disbelief. "Since when?"

"Derek, please…keep your voice down," Bizzy warned. Then sighing, she continued, "I guess a part of me has always known…but Susan and I have been together since she began working for us…I guess that's over thirty years now."

"Bizzy!" Derek exclaimed. "Does Addison know?"

"No," Bizzy said. "Addison and Archer do not know, and they're not going to find out," she warned, looking at Derek pointedly. "Because you're not going to say anything…you're going to keep this secret."

"Oh no," Derek insisted shaking his head fervently. "Secrets like this…they always have a way of getting out. I mean, Addison told me that nobody would ever find out that we slept together, and then-"

"Derek," Bizzy interrupted, "Susan and I aren't going to get pregnant. I promise you that…so Addison doesn't need to find out about this."

"What don't I need to find out about?" Addison asked.

"Addison," Derek paled.

Addison looked from Derek to Bizzy to Susan. "What's going on in here?" she asked.

Bizzy shot Derek a warning look. "Not a word," she hissed. Bizzy turned her attention to Addison. "The three of us were just talking," she said calmly.

"In the bathroom?" Addison asked suspiciously.

"Well, uh," Bizzy stammered.

"Bizzy," Derek whispered harshly. "This is ridiculous."

"Not a word, Derek," Bizzy warned. "Besides, you don't have this type of discussion in a bathroom."

"Would a closet be more to your liking?" Derek muttered.

Bizzy rewarded Derek's comment with an eye roll. "Addison," she sighed, "go get your father and brother."

xxxxx

"Is there a reason the six of us are all in the bathroom together?" Archer asked when he, Addison, and The Captain joined Derek, Bizzy, and Susan in the bathroom a few minutes later.

Bizzy looked at The Captain. "Derek knows," she said.

"What? How?" The Captain asked taking a sip of his gin and tonic.

"He walked in on us," Bizzy answered simply.

"Oh," The Captain chuckled. "Glad I brought my drink with me."

"Can somebody please tell us what's going on?" Archer demanded.

Bizzy sighed. "I hadn't planned on telling you this in this way. Actually, I hadn't planned on telling you this at all. But, as I always say, people plan and God laughs, so-"

"Bizzy," Archer cut in. "You're talking in circles. Just tell us what's going on."

"Okay," Bizzy conceded. "Archer…Addison," she began gently. "You may find this a bit surprising, but I suppose it's time for me to tell you the truth. I'm gay, and Susan…she's my lover."

"What?" Addison breathed. She turned to her father. "And you knew about this?" she asked in disbelief.

The Captain nodded. "Yes, I've known about this."

"How long has this been going on?" Archer asked.

"Susan and I have been together since you two were very young," Bizzy answered. "So much of my life has been devoted to other people…and Susan, well, Susan has always been the part of my life that's just for me."

"So, all these years…all these years that you two have been married…has it all just been a lie?" Addison asked in disbelief. "Did you two ever even love each other?"

"Of course we loved each other," Bizzy answered. "And we still do love each other…in our way. How else would we be able to keep this secret from everyone all of these years?"

"Right," Addison muttered. "So, I assume, I assume we need to keep this a secret as well?"

"That goes without saying," The Captain answered.

"That's right," Bizzy agreed. "You know how important it is for our family to preserve its reputation…so this is our secret, okay?"

"Sure," Archer smirked. "I mean, with all the secrets our family's keeping from everyone, what's one more?"

xxxxx

Derek tossed and turned in his bed, unable to fall asleep. It had been a crazy afternoon, and he was worried about Addison. She had dealt with Bizzy's coming out gracefully and classily. But Addison was Bizzy's daughter, and she knew better than to let her emotions get the best of her in front of her parents.

Derek closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep, when he heard the door to his bedroom creak open slightly. He looked up and saw Addison standing in the doorway.

"Hey," he whispered, sitting up in bed. "You okay."

"Yeah." She looked down for a moment. When she looked up, she met Derek's eyes. "No," she admitted.

Derek swallowed hard, and moved over in bed to make room for her, and Addison sighed and sat down next to him.

"My mother is a lesbian," she said, staring into the darkness.

"Yeah," Derek nodded.

"You know, I've spent my entire life angry with The Captain…because I thought he was cheating on my mother…and that she had no idea…but now, now I don't what to think. Everything I've known about my parents has been a lie." Addison sighed heavily. "The thing is, I'm just like them…I'm just like both of my parents."

"Addison, you're nothing like your parents."

"I am," Addison insisted. "I'm a cheater, like The Captain, and I'm a liar, like Bizzy. I was the one who wanted to keep what happened at the conference a secret. I'm just like my mother. How am I supposed to be a good mother when I managed to get both of my parents' worst qualities?"

"Addison," Derek cut in. "None of that is even remotely true. You're nothing like either of your parents. I mean, sure, you can put on that icy Forbes-Montgomery exterior, but anyone who knows you…anyone who really knows you knows that you're kind and caring, and nothing like your parents. And you have to stop saying things like that because…because she might be able to hear you," Derek smiled, gesturing towards Addison's stomach. "And we don't want her to get the wrong idea about us."

"Derek," Addison chuckled. "How did you-"

"I read the books, Addie." Derek checked the clock on the nightstand, and a small smile came to his lips. "Hey, Addie, it's almost one in the morning."

"Yeah," Addison sighed. "We should probably get to bed."

"That's not what I meant," Derek said, shaking his head. "It's one in the morning, which means, it's after midnight, which means, it's Christmas. Merry Christmas, Addison."

"Merry Christmas, Derek," Addison responded half-heartedly, almost mechanically.

Derek looked at Addison in confusion. "Are you okay?" he asked in concern. "It's Christmas, Addie…Christmas. We love Christmas." Then, echoing her words from last Christmas, he added softly, "At least we used to."

And as he watched a tear slide down Addison's cheek, he remembered how the rest of that conversation played out. _Christmas makes you want to be with the people you love. I'm not saying this to hurt you or because I want to leave you, because I don't. Meredith wasn't a fling…she wasn't revenge…I fell in love with her. That doesn't go away because I decided to stay with you._

Derek felt like he was going to be sick. Who says something like that? Who does something like that? Why did he think it was okay to say that to her on Christmas of all days? "Addison," he choked out, his voice dry and thick with emotion. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry about last Christmas," he said, pulling her into his arms. "I'm so sorry," he whispered against her hair.

They sat there for a moment, him holding her close, gently stroking her hair; but then she pulled away. "Derek," she whispered, "you don't have to apologize. You meant what you said, and I…I should have stopped fighting for you. I should have walked away after that."

"No," Derek disagreed. "You were sitting there with your catalogs and your hot buttered rum, wearing your white cashmere top, doing everything you could to get me excited about Christmas…to make it like old times. And I…I was hurtful…and I was cruel, and I'm sorry. I want to make it up to you. How can I make it up to you?"

"Derek, you don't have to-"

"Please, Addison. Let me make it up to you."

Addison looked into Derek's pleading eyes and sighed heavily. "Fine," she said, "you can make it up to me." She reached for his hand and brought it to her stomach. "You have to help me make sure that she loves Christmas the way that you and I used to…before Mark, before Meredith…back when we were Addison and Derek…back when we were happy. And I don't mean buying her everything on her Christmas list and spoiling her. I mean dressing up as Santa Claus, and helping us hang Christmas decorations, and taking her to Rockefeller Center to see the tree when she's old enough to appreciate it, and drinking Dickensian Christmas drinks with her. I want her to love Christmas the way we used to love Christmas."

"Addison," Derek said softly. "Of course I'll do all that stuff. I can't wait to do all that stuff. But, Addison, what happened, last Christmas…that was between me and you, so let me do something for _you_." He pulled her in close again, and gently began rubbing her back. "I want to do something for you," he whispered into her hair.

Addison pulled away slightly and met Derek's eyes. Her eyes flickered down to his lips and then back to his eyes, before she leaned in and kissed him softly. He responded immediately, running his hands through her hair, as he kissed her deeply, trying to take away the pain she was feeling…the pain they were both feeling. But then Addison began tugging at his t-shirt, and the reality of the situation hit him. They couldn't do this.

"Addison," he panted, pulling away slightly. "Addison, we can't," he breathed, reluctantly breaking apart from her.

Addison looked at him in confusion. "Why not?"

Derek sighed. "Because, you're in a bad place, right now, and I, I don't want to take advantage."

"You wouldn't be taking advantage," Addison insisted. "I want this."

Derek shook his head. "You don't want this. Not like this. You're upset about Bizzy…and last Christmas. You don't want this…not really, at least."

"You know what, Derek, I am upset. I'm upset about Bizzy, and I'm upset about last Christmas. And, right now, I either need a drink or I need sex…and I can't drink."

"Addison," Derek whispered, looking into her pleading eyes.

But she didn't say anything back – just continued looking at him expectantly, her pale blue eyes meeting his piercing blue ones. And Derek felt his resolve weakening; he had never been very good at saying no to her. "Okay," he breathed. He gently caressed her cheek before brushing his lips against hers. They could deal with the consequences in the morning.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Thank you for the nice feedback on the last chapter! I love writing Addison's family, especially Archer, and I really like writing Addison/Derek Christmas scenes, so that chapter was a lot of fun for me to write. I hope you like this chapter and, as always, thanks so much for reading!

* * *

"Hey, Addison," Callie smiled, as Addison sat down next to her at one of the tables in the hospital cafeteria. "Did you have a nice Christmas?"

"I slept with Derek," Addison blurted.

"Yeah, I kind of knew that already," Callie smirked, gesturing towards Addison's stomach.

Addison shook her head. "No, that's not what I meant. I slept with him over Christmas."

"Wait," Callie began in confusion, "I thought you spent the holidays with your folks in Connecticut. How did you guys-"

"Derek flew out there and surprised me," Addison explained. "You know, to help me tell my very image-conscious parents that I'm having my ex-husband's baby."

"Well, that was sweet of him," Callie grinned.

"Yeah," Addison smiled. "It was."

"So, I take it you had a nice Christmas," Callie smirked.

"It was a disaster," Addison muttered.

Callie gave Addison an apologetic smile. "Sorry," she apologized. "So, was the sex at least good?"

"Callie, I haven't had sex with anyone since the last time that Derek and I slept together…I'm so sex starved I wouldn't have even noticed if the sex was bad. It wasn't," she added quickly. "It was actually really, really…anyway, that's not the point."

"So, are you and Derek going to give it another try? Are you two getting back together?"

"No," Addison shook her head. "No, no, we're not. No."

"Are you sure?" Callie asked raising an eyebrow. "'Cause it kind of sounds like you're protesting a little too much."

"Trust me, Callie…we're not getting back together. I was upset, and we slept together. That's it."

"You still seem upset," Callie observed. "Are you upset that you slept with Derek?"

"What? No. Well, yes. I don't know, kind of."

"Okay," Callie chuckled. "That was completely unhelpful."

Addison sighed. "It's just, Derek's not the guy you go to and sleep with when you're upset. Derek's never been that guy for me…until the other night. And, it's just, that's not who Derek is…not to me, at least. Derek's the guy you marry…the type of guy you settle down with and have a family with. Not some guy you sleep with because you're in a bad place."

"Uh, I hate to point out the obvious," Callie chuckled, "but you _were_ married to Derek. Hell, you still have his last name on your lab coat to prove it. And whether or not you and Derek are still a couple, you two are settling down and starting a family together. So, I wouldn't be so quick to chalk up you and Derek sleeping together over Christmas to you being in a bad place because, let's face it, you said it yourself – you and Derek don't do meaningless sex."

"I mean, we tried once," Addison mumbled.

"And how did that work out for you?" Callie pressed.

"I ended up pregnant," Addison muttered, shaking her head in amusement.

"See," Callie insisted with a smirk. "It's like you and Derek are incapable of having meaningless sex…and the universe knows it or something."

"The universe is interested in my sex life with Derek?" Addison asked, raising an eyebrow at the absurdity of her friend's statement.

"Well, no," Callie backpedaled. "But you're missing my point. My point is that I wouldn't beat yourself up over what happened over Christmas, because I'd be willing to bet money on the fact that Derek didn't sleep with you because you were upset or in a bad place. He slept with you because he's him and you're you. That's all there is to it."

"He's him, and I'm me?" Addison asked, confusion clear in her voice. "What does that even mean?"

"Derek wanted to sleep with you," Callie explained slowly. "Just like you wanted to sleep with him."

"Callie I never said-"

"You didn't have to say anything," Callie smirked. "So, how was the morning after? Was it awkward?"

"You know, it wasn't as awkward as I was expecting it to be," Addison admitted.

"So he was still there when you woke up? He didn't leave your room in the middle of the night or anything, did he?"

Addison shook her head. "No, he didn't leave. But I was also the one who came into his room, so I'm not sure where he would have gone if wanted to leave."

"He could have slept on the couch or something. Trust me, if he didn't want to be in there with you, he would have found a way to get out."

Addison shrugged, unconvinced. But a part of her couldn't help wondering if maybe her friend was right. Addison had awoken Christmas morning to the sound of Derek's voice; he was talking quietly to Baby Shep, making Christmas plans for when she got older…sleigh riding, watching classic Christmas movies, a trip to New York – because everyone needs to experience Christmas in New York City at least once. Addison had pretended that she was still asleep, not wanting to ruin Derek's moment with his daughter.

But when she did open her eyes, the awkwardness that she was certain would ensue never did. They briefly talked about what had happened the night before, agreeing that it probably wasn't the best decision on either of their parts, but they agreed that they could move past it…even though that was easier said than done.

"Are you thinking about Derek?" Callie smirked, ripping Addison from her thoughts.

"What? No," Addison insisted. "I was thinking about, uh…everything that I have to do today."

"Everything you have to do today," Callie repeated, with a mischievous glint in her eye. "And would that include your ex-husband in an on-call room?"

"Callie," Addison chided, looking around to make sure that nobody was close enough to overhear their conversation. "I swear, you're as bad as some of the nurses around here…and you're supposed to be my friend."

"I am your friend," Callie smiled. "And as your friend, I'm just pointing out the obvious…you're in love with your ex-husband. And I think it's pretty safe to say that he's still in love with you."

"Callie, I don't-"

But Addison was cut off by the sound of her phone vibrating in her pocket.

"Sorry," Addison apologized, as she checked her phone. She frowned when she saw the number flashing on the screen. "It's Bizzy," she told her friend. "I should probably get this."

xxxxx

"Hey, Derek, can I talk to you for a minute?" Addison asked, knocking on the door to her ex-husband's office.

"Yeah, sure," Derek smiled. "Come on in."

"Thanks," Addison nodded, as she sat down across from Derek.

"Hey, check this out," Derek grinned, picking up the silver picture frame from his desk, and turning it so that Addison could see the picture – Baby Shep's latest ultrasound picture. "Cute, huh?"

"Very cute," Addison agreed with a slight smile.

Derek turned the picture frame around, so that it was now facing him. He looked at the picture for a moment and smiled, before placing the frame back down on his desk. "Uh, so, you wanted to talk?" he asked Addison.

"Yeah," Addison nodded. "I do."

"Okay," Derek began. "What's up?"

Addison sighed, and shook her head in frustration. "I got this phone call from Bizzy, and she's being completely ridiculous. She and my father are celebrating their fortieth wedding anniversary in two weeks, and she said it would reflect poorly on the entire family if I wasn't there."

"So, you're going back to Connecticut?" Derek asked.

"I have to go," Addison muttered. "It's my parent's fortieth wedding anniversary. I mean, never mind the fact that my mother's a lesbian and my parents probably haven't been faithful to each other for even a year of marriage…but they are throwing themselves an extravagant fortieth wedding anniversary and I have to go."

"Do you want me to come with you?" Derek asked.

"No," Addison said quickly. "No. Definitely not. Because here's the thing…Bizzy said that me having your baby out of wedlock is unseemly…so she wanted me to invite you, and she wanted us to pretend that we got back together, and that we're married. And that's obviously not an option. So, I told her that I'd come to the anniversary party, but that you couldn't make it because you have to work."

"Ad-"

"I just wanted to warn you, though, that Bizzy might call you and try to convince you to come out to Connecticut and play along with her little charade. My mother doesn't exactly like being told 'no.' So, I just wanted to warn you."

"Addison," Derek said softly.

"I mean, it's the most ridiculous thing, right? Her asking us to pretend to be married at a pretend anniversary party…it's like straight out of a bad movie or something. Anyway, I just wanted you to know that she may call you."

"She already did call me," Derek said.

"Seriously?" Addison breathed. "Wh- what did you say?"

Derek shrugged. "I said I'd come. And I said I'd play along with whatever she wanted me to play along with."

"Derek, why would you agree to that?" Addison asked in confusion.

"I mean, I did get you pregnant out of wedlock, and I'm pretty much the reason why Bizzy came out to you and Archer over Christmas…so, I think it's safe to say that I'm not one of your mother's favorite people, right now. I thought this might help get me back in her good graces," Derek admitted. "Plus, I want to be there."

"Derek."

"I honestly don't think it's going to be that bad, Addie. We'll dance, we'll eat, we'll talk about Baby Shep."

"We'll have to pretend we're still married," Addison added, with an eye roll.

"That's not really a big deal," Derek shrugged. "We were married for over eleven years, and we're on good terms with each other now…we can pretend to be blissfully married for a day. Hell, your parents have been doing it for the last forty years."

"Derek, are you sure about this?" Addison asked hesitantly.

"Trust me; I'm sure. Everything will be fine. It might even be a little fun."

"Well, I highly doubt that," Addison muttered, standing up from her seat. "But thank you, Derek. I really appreciate it."

Derek gave her a warm smile. "You're welcome."

xxxxx

"Hey, are you okay?" Alex asked his boss, as Addison entered the NICU. "You look kind of stressed."

"I'm fine," Addison assured her intern. "Yeah, I'm good."

"You know, talking has never really been my thing, but if you want to talk about it, I guess I could listen," Alex offered.

"Thanks, Karev," Addison smiled, "but talking has never really been my thing either."

Alex nodded in understanding. "Well, if you ever do want to talk…"

"Thanks, Karev."

Alex stood there watching her for a moment, as she consulted the chart in her hand. "So, you and Derek are having a girl?" he asked.

Addison looked up from her chart in surprise. She and Derek had agreed not to tell anyone. "Did Derek tell you that?" Addison asked.

"No."

"Did you overhear the nurses talking about it?" Addison asked, cringing slightly.

Alex shook his head. "No. I don't think the nurses know very much at all."

"Well, that's good," Addison approved. "So, wait, how did you find out that Derek and I are having a girl?"

"Just from watching Derek," Alex explained. "Usually, when he comes in here, he spends an equal amount of time with the girl babies and the boy babies…but, lately, he's been spending a lot of time with the little girl babies. I think Natalie is his favorite. So, I don't know, I guess I just assumed you guys were having a girl."

"We are," Addison confirmed. "And you're one of the only ones around here who knows, so I'd appreciate it if you kept it quiet."

"Yeah, yeah, sure," Alex agreed quickly. He met Addison's eyes; "I won't say anything," he promised.

"Thank you."

Alex nodded. "Hey, Dr. Shepherd?"

"Yes?"

"Congratulations. You and Derek are gonna be really great with a daughter."

Addison swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat, and met her intern's eyes. "Thanks, Karev."

Addison couldn't help smiling. If someone had told her that she would find herself actually enjoying having a conversation about Baby Shep, at work, with someone who wasn't Derek (or Callie), she would have advised them to get a psych consult. If someone had told her that she would be having this conversation with her cocky intern, she would have personally walked them up to the psych floor for that consult. But here she was, talking to Alex Karev about Baby Shep, and enjoying it. She had to admit, it felt nice not to have to be so secretive.

She watched as Alex consulted one of the babies' charts, debating whether she to tell him what was bothering her. "So," she began hesitantly, "I, uh, I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to be out of town in two weeks, so we need to go to Bailey and make sure you have things to do while I'm away."

"Okay," Alex nodded. "Where are you going?"

Addison smiled. Alex had fallen for the bait she laid out hook, line, and sinker. "I'll be in Connecticut," she said. "My parents are celebrating their fortieth wedding anniversary."

"Wow," Alex said, raising an eyebrow. "Impressive. Is Shepherd going with you?"

"He is," Addison nodded. "And it's just, I'm a little worried. My parents are very image-conscious people, and they're less than thrilled that I'm having my ex-husband's baby out of wedlock…you know, because it tarnishes the picture-perfect family image that they try so hard to maintain. So my mother asked us to pretend that we got remarried."

"Oh," Alex coughed, doing his best to suppress a laugh. "Does Shepherd know about this?"

"Yeah. He's actually oddly okay with it. I'm the one who thinks this whole thing is just ridiculous."

"I mean, I hate to say this, but Shepherd's kind of right. It's really not that big of a deal," Alex admitted.

Addison looked at her intern in confusion.

"I mean, you and Shepherd pretty much act married, right now," Alex explained.

"We do not act-"

"Think about it," Alex cut in. "You two spend most of your time together. You leave work together more often than not. He's always stopping in here to see you. You're always in a better mood after you've seen him or when you know you're going to see him. He's always in a better mood after he's seen you or when he knows he's going to see you. And that puts _me_ in a better mood, because I work closely with both of you, and if you guys are in a good mood, you're usually a lot nicer to me…but we're straying from the point, and the point is that I don't think this anniversary party will be too big of a change for you two."

"Really?" Addison asked, still not convinced.

Alex shrugged. "I don't know," he admitted. "But I wouldn't worry about it too much. I mean, if Derek seems into it, I'd just follow his lead…you know, leave all the awkward conversations to him."

"Follow his lead," Addison repeated. "Yeah, okay. Thanks, Karev."

"No problem," Alex chuckled. "Anyway, I have a favor to ask you."

"Uh, yeah, sure, name it," Addison said.

"Natalie…that's the baby that Derek's taken a liking to…she's going home tomorrow. And, uh, I was wondering if you'd tell him that so he can come in and say goodbye…you know…if he wants to."

"Okay," Addison laughed. "I'll tell him."

"Thanks," Alex grinned. "I was gonna tell him when he was in here today, but I, I just didn't have the heart."

xxxxx

"Hey, Natalie," Derek cooed to the baby in front of him. "I hear you're going home tomorrow. I'm gonna miss you, but that's good news…really good news. I know that you and I have had some good talks over the past couple of months, but this one's important, so I need you to listen when I tell you this…I don't want to see you back at Seattle Grace, okay? You need to get big and strong and live a healthy life. No more hospitals for you…unless, of course, you want to be a neurosurgeon some day…then you can come back here. But not until then, okay?"

Derek smiled, as he gently stroked the baby's hair. "Okay," he laughed, "one more heart to heart before you leave. I'm going to my ex-wife's parents' fortieth anniversary party in a couple of weeks, and Addison and I are pretending that we're still married. She's all worried about it, which is understandable…her parents are lunatics. But I, I'm actually looking forward to it. I mean, I could do without seeing Bizzy and the Captain and Archer, but I think it'll be nice to spend some time with Addison…to act like we're a couple again. We were a couple for the last third of our lives and, to be honest, I kind of miss that. So, I'm looking forward to pretending we're married, even if it's only for a day, because even after all we've been through together, nobody knows me the way she does. She's still my best friend…she's still the love of my life."

Derek sighed heavily and extended his index finger towards Natalie, smiling when she gripped it tightly. "It's just, Addie and I…we both hurt each other, and I don't know if we can ever bounce back from that," Derek confessed. "So I don't know what to do or what to think. Anyway, thanks for listening Natalie," he said smiling widely. "Oh, and like always, this stays between us, okay?"

"Does that mean I can't say anything either?"

Derek looked up in surprise. "Karev," he breathed. "How, how much of that did you hear?"

"Enough," Alex smirked.

"Karev."

"Relax, Shepherd," Alex laughed. "Your secret's safe with me."


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: I can't tell you how much I appreciate your kind feedback on this story! Here's another_ very _long chapter. I hope you like it and, as always, thanks so much for reading!

* * *

"You look beautiful," Derek complimented, as Addison emerged from their hotel room bathroom wearing a short, sleeveless, black dress with a deep, draping neckline. He didn't know if him calling her 'beautiful' was too forward, but the words had escaped his mouth before he had time to think about what he was saying. Luckily for him, Addison didn't seem to mind.

"Thanks," she smiled, as she appreciatively took in the way that Derek looked in his black Armani suit. "You look nice too."

"Thanks," Derek grinned. "I can't decide, though," he started, holding up a black tie in one hand and a red tie in the other. "Which do you like better?"

Addison looked at the ties carefully. "The black," she said. "It's more classic."

"Okay," Derek agreed. "The black one it is."

"Here, let me help you," Addison offered, taking the tie from him, and moving behind him to help him tie it. She had always been better at that than he was, and she tried to ignore the fluttering of her heart as she stood so close to her ex-husband, helping him with tie just like she had a thousand times back in the old days.

"There, perfect," she smiled, running her hand across Derek's muscular chest, smoothing down his tie.

"Just like the old days," Derek smiled, reading her thoughts.

"Yeah," Addison murmured sadly. "Just like the old days. So," she said, clearing her throat, and pushing thoughts of 'the old days' out of her head, "should we coordinate our stories…you know, so when people ask us about how we got back together, we're not telling them two completely different things."

"I don't know," Derek said thoughtfully. "If anything, we should probably coordinate stories with Bizzy…you know, to make sure that she hasn't told people her own, socially appropriate story about how we got back together. And if people ask, I'd say the vaguer we are the better."

"Right," Addison agreed. "So, uh, what are you going to say if people ask?"

Derek smiled. "I'm just going to say that you're the love of my life…you've always been the love of my life, and you'll always be the love of my life. And once I realized that, I knew our divorce was a huge mistake and, from there, everything just kind of fell into place."

Addison swallowed hard at Derek words. "Wow," she breathed. But she quickly remembered that what he was saying wasn't real; it was all part of the lie they were constructing. "That's good, that's really good," she complimented. "You know, I almost believed you for a second."

A slight smile came to Derek's face. He was tempted to tell her that he meant every word that he had just said, but he quickly thought better of it. He wasn't sure if the feelings were mutual, and he figured that now probably wasn't the best time to find out. "I'm glad you like it," he grinned.

"I really don't want to go down there," Addison complained.

"That sounds familiar," Derek laughed, remembering the last time that he and Addison were alone together in a hotel room.

Bizzy and the Captain had decided to have their fortieth anniversary party in the banquet hall of an upscale Connecticut hotel, and they had reserved rooms for their out-of-town guests in the same hotel. Naturally, they had only reserved one room for Derek and Addison – under the name Shepherd, of course. They didn't want to run the risk of having their family and friends potentially seeing Addison and Derek go off to two separate hotel rooms at the end of the night.

"Do we really have to go down there?" Addison whined, slipping on her wedding band and engagement ring.

"If we don't, we're going to have to deal with your mother," Derek pointed out, slipping on his own wedding band, and extending his arm to Addison.

"Were gonna have to deal with her anyway," Addison muttered, linking her arm with Derek's.

"Shall we?" Derek asked.

Addison sighed dramatically. "Fine," she conceded. "Let's go."

xxxxx

"Addison…Derek," Bizzy smiled, as Addison and Derek approached her, The Captain, and some other family members. "We're so glad you were able to make it."

"We wouldn't miss this for the world," Addison responded politely. "Everything looks beautiful. This banquet hall is perfect, and everyone seems to be enjoying the band," she complimented, motioning towards the dance floor, where several of her parents' family members and friends were dancing.

"Thank you," Bizzy smiled.

"So, Addison…Derek," Addison's Aunt Tippy, cut in, "Bizzy tells us that you two got remarried. And things are clearly going well for you," she added gesturing towards Addison's stomach. "Congratulations."

"Thank you," Derek nodded. "We're very happy."

"Well, that really is wonderful," Aunt Tippy smiled. "Do you know if you're having a boy or a girl?"

"We're having a girl," Derek answered with a smile.

"When did find that out?" Bizzy asked. "You didn't tell us the baby's sex when we saw you for Christmas."

"We would have," Addison muttered to herself, "but you were too busy trying to come up with a cover story, remember?"

"Excuse me?" Bizzy asked, with a tight smile.

Derek shot Addison a warning look. "We didn't know the baby's sex when we saw you over Christmas," he lied. "Otherwise we would have told you."

"Well, we're very happy for both of you," The Captain smiled, putting an arm around Bizzy.

"That's right," Bizzy agreed.

"So, Addison," Addison's cousin Serena cut in, "how did Derek propose to you when he proposed for the second time?"

"Oh," Addison stammered. "You know what, this is Bizzy and The Captain's day, and I wouldn't want to take away-"

"Oh, Addison, you absolutely must tell us," Aunt Tippy interrupted. "I bet there's a good story there, what do you think, Serena?"

"I think there's a story there," Serena smiled.

Addison looked at Bizzy hesitantly, and even though Bizzy seemed calm, Addison could see read the hidden message in the tightness of her smile – _don't screw this up_. Addison cleared her throat and smiled. "Actually, Derek tells the story much better than I do. Why don't you tell them, honey?"

"Oh," Derek said in surprise, as Bizzy paled. "Okay," Derek began. "Well, I don't know if you all know this, but Addison loves little viewfinders. She manages to find them in every city we're in. So, she naturally found some on top of The Space Needle in Seattle. We started eating lunch up there a couple of days a week, and-"

"Wait," Serena cut in. "Whatever happened to your midlife crisis? You know…the intern that Archer was telling us about."

"Oh, that ended shortly after Addison and I got divorced," Derek answered dismissively. "I realized that she wasn't the one for me," he said softly, locking eyes with Addison, and both found themselves unable to look away.

"So, what happened," Serena asked, bringing Derek and Addison back to reality. "How did you propose?"

"Almost immediately after I signed the divorce papers, I realized that I had made the biggest mistake of my life," Derek explained. "So, shortly after I ended things with Meredith, Addison and I started meeting up for lunch dates, and then dates after work. And then, one day, when we were having lunch on top of The Space Needle, Addison was looking through one of those cute little viewfinders, and when she turned around, I was behind her on one knee, proposing."

"That's so sweet," Serena swooned.

"It is," Aunt Tippy agreed; and several other women, who were also listening, nodded in agreement.

Derek smiled widely. "I was just happy she agreed to take me back," he admitted.

"Well you two always made a lovely couple," Aunt Tippy complimented. "And I'm sure you'll be wonderful parents."

"I hope so," Derek smiled, bringing his hand to Addison's stomach and rubbing it gently.

"Sure you will," Aunt Tippy insisted. "I mean, Bizzy and the Captain are extraordinary role models. They're great parents, and they have the most stable marriage of anyone I've ever met."

Addison and Derek both fought back a laugh at that. "That's true," Addison nodded. "They certainly are something to aspire to."

"Thank you," The Captain smiled. "Anyway, I'm going to go up to the bar to get another drink. Would you like to join me, Derek?"

"Sure," Derek agreed. He turned to Addison. "Can I get you anything? A club soda?"

"That sounds great," Addison smiled. "Thanks, Derek."

Addison watched, pleased, as Derek walked away with her father. He was certainly making a good impression on everyone. She was just about to go sit down at her table, when Bizzy pulled her over to the side.

"Well, Derek has been nothing short of charming tonight," Bizzy approved.

Addison nodded. "He's been great," she agreed.

"You know, your Aunt Tippy told me that she can't remember ever seeing you and Derek look so happy together. And I can't help but agree with her. I don't think you two even looked this happy when you were first married."

"We're good actors, Bizzy," Addison shrugged.

"Except I don't think you are," Bizzy disagreed. "Your father and I are good actors…as you well know. But you and Derek…I don't think you two are pretending."

"Bizzy, Derek and I are pretending to be married and in love…just like you and The Captain are pretending to be married and in love."

"Addison, take it from someone who's spent the last forty years of her life pretending to be in love with someone she's not; you and Derek are not pretending. At least, _you're_ not. And Derek, I don't think he's a particularly good liar, so-"

"Bizzy, I'd hardly say that all these years of minimal contact with each other makes you an expert on me or my relationship with Derek."

"I know that you and I never had the best relationship," Bizzy admitted, "but, like it or not, I _am_ in a position to offer you some advice here. I didn't marry the love of my life, and I, I just, I don't want you to have to experience the same thing. And you're right, I'm not an expert on you or on you and Derek, but I, I…just think about what I'm saying, okay?"

"Okay," Addison nodded.

"Okay. Now, if you'll excuse me, I really should go mingle with the rest of the guests."

"Right, sure. I'll see you later, Bizzy," Addison said, before making her way across the banquet hall to join Derek, who had just sat down at their table.

"Hey," Derek smiled, as Addison sat down next to him. "So, I can't decide if it's better to be in your family's good graces or to have them despise me, like they used to."

Addison looked at him in confusion.

"Your Uncle Anderson…you know, Aunt Tippy's husband…he just told me about his own mid-life crisis. Apparently, when he was our age, he had affair with one of their maids...oh, and Serena's nanny as well. I really could have done without that information."

Addison laughed. "Welcome back to the family," she shrugged. "And, hey, you should consider yourself lucky; you can drink. I have to get through this blessed event completely sober." She looked at Derek's drink in surprise. "Did my father order you that gin and tonic?"

Derek shook his head. "It's not a gin and tonic. I got a club soda too. I figured if you can't drink tonight, I wouldn't drink either…you know, solidarity."

"Derek, you really don't have to do that."

"I know, but I want to." He shot her a mischievous grin. "But that doesn't mean I might not change my mind as the night goes on. You're family's not exactly easy to deal with."

"Speaking of not exactly easy to deal with," Addison muttered, "it looks like my cousin, Veronica is headed our way."

"Oh, I remember her," Derek chuckled. "You know, I always got the impression that she was trying to hit on me."

Addison rolled her eyes at her ex-husband's naïveté. "That's because she was, Derek."

"Derek!" Veronica exclaimed rushing over to Derek and hugging him a little too long and intimately for Addison's comfort. "I thought we'd never see you again. I'm so glad you're here."

"Me too," Derek nodded, uncomfortably.

"This is a great suit, by the way," Veronica complimented, running her hand up and down Derek's muscular bicep. "And I love that tie."

"Uh, thank you," Derek stammered. "Addison actually chose it," he said, reaching out towards Addison, and taking her hand in his.

"Oh, right. Hi, Addison," Veronica said dismissively. "So, Derek," she gushed, sitting down on Derek's other side, and inching her chair closer to his, "I hear you're in Seattle now. Tell me, is it fabulous? Do I need to make a trip out there to visit you?"

"Oh, uh, I," Derek stammered.

"Addison! Derek!" Archer exclaimed, sitting down next to Addison. "Word on the street is you're giving me a niece."

"Um, yeah, yeah we are," Derek smiled, feeling incredibly appreciative towards Archer at that moment.

"I'm not gonna lie," Archer grinned, "I was kind of hoping for a nephew. I mean, I'm obviously not that type to settle down and get married and have my own kids but, still, I want to pass on my knowledge of women and the world on to someone, and a nephew would have been perfect for that, but I guess a girl can be fun too."

"I don't think I have ever been so happy that we're having a daughter," Derek smirked to Addison.

"Oh, and you'll be absolutely amazing with a daughter, Derek," Veronica gushed. "I mean, you'd be an amazing father either way…you're just that type of guy."

So, Addison…Derek," Archer continued, as he and Addison rolled their eyes at Veronica, who was now batting her eyelashes at Derek, "have you thought of any names yet?"

"Not yet," Addison answered. "And, even if we had a name picked out, I think we're going to keep quiet about it until she's born."

"We've been calling her Baby Shep for now," Derek added with a grin.

"Well, if you need any help coming up with names," Veronica offered flirtatiously, "you can always give me a call. You still have my number from the last time I gave it to you, right Derek?"

"Oh, dear lord," Archer muttered. "So, uh, has my niece started kicking yet?"

Derek looked at Archer in surprise; Addison's brother didn't exactly strike him as the type to be interested in baby talk. "Addison can feel her moving around, but her movements are still really slight, so I haven't been able to feel her yet," Derek answered with a slight frown.

"Aw, Addie, look how disappointed your husband looks," Archer laughed. "Can't you do something about that?"

"I told him he should be able to feel her any day now," Addison laughed. "I mean, I'm twenty-one weeks along, so it really should be any day now."

"She's clearly already adorably stubborn," Derek smiled, before leaning in and kissing Addison soundly on the lips. "Just like her mother."

"You know, I think I'm going to get another drink from the bar," Veronica cut in. "Does anyone want anything?"

"No thanks," Derek murmured, wrapping his arms around Addison, and pulling her in close.

"Uh, actually, I'd like a-"

"I wasn't talking to _you_, Archer!" Veronica interrupted angrily, before storming off.

Archer shook his head in amusement as he watched his cousin's retreating form. "Okay, you two," he said, turning his attention to Derek and Addison, who were still holding each other closely. "You know how Bizzy feels about public displays of affection. And you're doing very well for yourself tonight, Derek; you don't want to screw that up."

Addison smiled, as she moved out of Derek's arms. "Since when did you take such an interest in your niece, Archer?" she asked her brother.

"I'm not really that interested," Archer admitted. "No offense. It's just, Veronica's annoying as fuck, and I overheard her flirting shamelessly over here, so I decided to play my older brother card. I assumed that talking about the baby would be the quickest way to get her out of here, but that chick doesn't give up easily; that took a lot longer than I thought."

"Well, she's always been a pain in the ass," Addison reminded her brother. "Even when we were kids."

"Yeah," Archer agreed. "But, seriously…I know the three of us aren't exactly models of morality but, come on, who blatantly flirts with her cousin's husband, while his wife…his pregnant wife…is sitting right there? I mean, next to her, the three of us look like saints. Anyway-"

But he was cut off by the emcee, who was encouraging everyone to take their seats, before calling Bizzy and The Captain to the center of the dance floor to share a dance.

"Man, they're good," Archer smirked, as The Captain and Bizzy made their way onto the dance floor together, arm in arm. "If I didn't know any better, I'd think they were the real deal," he chuckled.

Addison turned to Derek and smiled. "Thanks for coming here with me," she whispered in his ear. "I mean, I could have done this alone, but I'm glad I didn't have to. Thank you."

"You're welcome," he whispered back, taking her hand in his; and both turned their attention to Bizzy and The Captain, who had begun dancing.

_I can't remember when you weren't there,  
When I didn't care for anyone but you.  
I swear, we've been through everything there is,  
Can't imagine anything we've missed,  
Can't imagine anything the two of us can't do._

"They're such a beautiful couple," Aunt Tippy complimented, as she sat down next to Derek. She looked at Addison and Derek and smiled. "You know, you two are just like them."

Addison swallowed hard, unsure whether her aunt was spot on or completely off base with her assessment.

_Through the years, you've never let me down.  
You turned my life around.  
__The sweetest days I've found, I've found with you.  
__Through the years, I've never been afraid.  
__I've loved the life we've made.  
And I'm so glad I've stayed, right here with you,  
Through the years._

"Okay," the emcee announced, "we're now inviting all the other couples to join the happy couple on the dance floor. And remember, each couple that joins them adds another year of happiness to Bizzy and The Captain's marriage."

"Hey, Addie," Derek whispered, when he noticed that Addison seemed intent on remaining in her seat, "I think Bizzy wants us out there."

Addison looked over at Bizzy, who, sure enough, was looking at her and Derek with a seemingly content smile on her face; but Addison knew her mother well enough to read the hidden message behind that smile.

"When did you learn how to read WASP?" Addison laughed, as Derek led her to the dance floor, before pulling her in close, as they swayed together slowly.

_I can't remember what I used to do,  
Who I trusted, who I listened to before.  
I swear, you taught me everything I know;  
Can't imagine needing someone so.  
But through the years it seems to me  
I need you more and more._

And as Derek continued to hold her close, softly whispering the song lyrics, Addison felt tears begin to sting her eyes. Bizzy was right; Addison wasn't pretending to be in love with Derek – she was in love with him. But were those feelings only one-sided? Bizzy seemed to think they weren't. Addison had promised herself that she would never again be the only one fighting for a relationship – especially with Derek. She had done that once, and she had lost, and she wouldn't do that again – especially now that she had their daughter to think about.

"You okay?" Derek whispered, when he felt Addison's body begin to tremble against his.

"I'm fine," she lied.

_Through the years, when everything went wrong,  
Together we were strong.  
__I know that I belong right here with you.  
__Through the years, I never had a doubt,  
__We'd always work things out.  
I've learned what life's about, by loving you  
Through the years.  
_

And as she continued to dance with Derek, Addison's mind wandered to the last time she and Derek were in this position – prom night at Seattle Grace…the night he slept with Meredith. And she couldn't help but wonder if tonight was really that different from prom night. He had pretended that he wanted to be with her then, and she had bought it; was history simply repeating itself?

"Derek," she whispered. "I need to get out of here."

"Wait? What?" Derek asked in confusion.

"I, uh, I'll be right back," she stammered, moving out of Derek's arms, and discretely making her way off the dance floor and out of the banquet hall. She walked into the hotel lobby, sat down on one of the plush couches, and massaged her temples with her fingers as she silently cursed herself for letting her feelings for Derek get the best of her.

"Addison," Derek called out, as he walked towards her, and sat down next to her. "What's going on?"

"It's nothing," Addison lied.

Derek looked at her, unconvinced. "It doesn't seem like nothing," he said softly. "Come on, you can tell me."

Addison met Derek's bright blue eyes, and felt her resolve weakening when he offered her a soft, comforting smile. "I, uh, I'm just a little overwhelmed," she began, against her better judgment.

Derek nodded encouragingly, urging her to go on.

She sat there quietly for a moment, but then Derek began rubbing her thigh reassuringly, and Addison felt her walls coming down. "It's just, being here with you, and pretending that we're married and in love…well, it's just, it's tough, you know, because people are saying things. Bizzy told me that she's never seen us look happier. And then there's Callie, who's convinced that we're still in love with each other. And even Alex Karev said that we act like we're married. And I know, I know we're supposed to just be pretending tonight but, Derek, I'm not pretending. I-"

But she was cut off by his lips against hers. She responded to his kiss immediately, wrapping her arms around his neck, and drawing him in closer.

"Derek," she breathed, when they broke apart. "What-what was that?"

"I'm not pretending either," he whispered. "I want this. I want you. I want to be Derek and Addison again…well, Derek and Addison, and Baby Shep," he added with a grin.

"I want that too," Addison smiled, leaning in and kissing Derek softly. Derek responded in kind, pulling her in close, and gently caressing her cheek, as they began to make out heatedly.

"Addie," he panted, as Addison began trailing kisses along his jaw line and down his neck.

"Hmm?" she murmured, as she continued to kiss his neck, breathing in the familiar scent of his Yves Saint Laurent cologne.

"Maybe, maybe we should stop."

Addison looked at him in confusion. "Do you really want to?" she asked breathlessly.

Derek shook his head, trying to get his breathing under control. "No," he said. "It's just, I don't know…what are we going to do if someone from the party, or God forbid, your mother comes out here and sees us making out on the lobby couch like a couple of teenagers."

Addison shot Derek a flirtatious smile, before kissing him gently. "They'll get over it," she murmured against his lips.

xxxxx

Derek sighed as he flopped down on his bed, in his trailer. He had just returned from Connecticut, and he was exhausted; he hadn't exactly gotten much sleep the night before – not that he was complaining. He and Addison had caught an early plane from Connecticut back to Seattle, and they had take a cab directly from the airport to Seattle Grace to make sure that there weren't any emergent problems there. He had gotten off easy – everything was fine in neuro. But Addison had been called in for a consult; and although he offered to wait for her in his office until she was finished, she insisted that he go home and get some sleep.

He closed his eyes and began to drift off to sleep when a knock at the door jolted him awake. He tiredly made his way to the door, not bothering to see who it was.

"Meredith," he said in surprise, when he saw his ex-girlfriend standing there in front of him. "What are you doing here?"

"Can I come in, Derek?" she asked. "We need to talk."

"Uh, okay," Derek stammered. "What do we need to talk about?"

"Why don't you sit down," Meredith smiled, as she placed the paper bag she was carrying on Derek's kitchen table and pulled out a bottle of tequila. She went into Derek's cabinets and pulled out two tumblers, just like she had so many times in the past.

"Here," she said, handing Derek a glass of tequila.

"I, I don't understand what's going on," Derek admitted.

Meredith smiled. "I know that things between us have been complicated…between you having a wife, and then the whole baby thing but, Derek, I love you. I love you, Derek," Meredith repeated, inching her chair closer to Derek's and taking his hands in hers. "And I can deal with the fact that you lied to me about Addison, and I can deal with the fact that you're gonna have a baby…because I want to be with you. I love you, Derek…baggage and all. I've missed you."

"Meredith, I-"

"So, I was thinking we could just start over. You're just a guy in a bar, and I'm just a girl in a bar…well, a trailer, actually...and I drink tequila."

"And you drink tequila," Derek nodded, with a slight smile. "Look, Mer-"

But he was cut off by the sound of someone knocking on the trailer door.

"Who's that?" Meredith asked.

"I don't know," Derek shrugged. "The door's open. Come on in," he called out, without thinking, and paled when he saw Addison walk through the door. "Addison," he breathed. "I, I-"

Addison thought she was going to be sick as she took in the sight in front of her – Derek and Meredith sitting close together, drinking tequila, and Derek looking incredibly guilty. "Am I interrupting something?" she asked icily, trying to keep her voice as composed as she possibly could.

"Addison, I," Derek stammered. "Meredith and I, we're just friends…nothing's going on."

"Just friends," Addison said, giving Derek a dry smile. "You know, under most circumstances, I'd probably believe you, but you and Meredith have been _just friends_ before, and the last time that you and Meredith were _just friends_, you ended up sleeping together at the prom. And, to be honest, I'd rather not sit around and wait for that to happen again."

"Addison," Derek tried.

"Derek, I, uh, I should probably leave," Meredith said uncomfortably.

"Don't worry about it," Addison insisted. "I'll do you both a favor; I'll leave."

And with that, she made her way out of Derek's trailer, and back to her car, doing her best to ignore the sound of her ex-husband calling out her name, and losing her battle against the tears that were streaming down her face.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Thank you so much for your kind feedback on the last chapter! I really loved writing it, so I'm glad that you liked reading it. I hope you like this chapter and, as always, thanks for reading! :)

* * *

"Addison, please talk to me," Derek begged, the next day at the hospital.

"I'm busy right now, Derek."

"Addison, please. You need to let me explain. I mean, you're barely saying two words to me right now, you wouldn't answer my calls last night. We have to talk about this; you need to stop ignoring me."

"Oh, so you don't like being ignored, Derek?" Addison shot back haughtily. "I didn't like it either."

"Addison, can we not make this about what happened in New York? I thought we moved past that."

"I thought we moved past a lot of things, Derek," Addison seethed, "but apparently Meredith Grey isn't one of them."

"Addison, what you saw yesterday…that was nothing."

"You know, unfortunately, I've seen just a little too much _nothing_ happen between you and Meredith Grey for that to be believable," Addison retorted. "Although, I guess I should thank you for saving me the trouble of finding her panties in the pocket of your tux…or wherever you were planning on putting them this time."

"Addison, stop. You're blowing this way out of proportion."

"Am I, Derek?" Addison snapped.

"Look, I meant everything I said when we were in Connecticut," Derek pleaded. "Can't we just go back to that?"

Addison shook her head. "Connecticut was just the prom, part two. I just, I can't believe I was stupid enough to believe you again." She looked around and noticed that people were starting to stare and that a crowd of doctors and nurses was beginning to gather. _Don't any of these people have lives or work?_

"Look, Derek, I'm not going to get into this with you right now," she said, making her way into the nearest on-call room, with Derek following closely behind, still insisting that they needed to talk.

"Did the Shepherds just go into an on-call room together?" Izzie asked, as she joined Alex, George, and Cristina, who were part of the crowd that had gathered outside of the on-call room.

"They did," George confirmed. "And they seemed pretty angry."

"Damn," Alex muttered. "That means they're going to be rays of sunshine today and, lucky me, I'm scrubbing in with both of them this afternoon."

"Hey, you should count yourself as lucky," Izzie countered. "That surgery that you're scrubbing in on…you know, the baby with the brain tumor…I was supposed to scrub in on that as well, but I got replaced by some hot-shot resident from New York."

"Dude, that sucks," Alex chuckled.

"I know," Izzie agreed. "I actually came over here, looking for Derek, to ask him to get me back into the surgery, but..."

"Yeah, you should probably hold off on that," Cristina smirked.

"So, only you got pulled from the surgery, right Iz?" Alex asked. "I mean, not to be a jerk or anything, but I'm still scrubbing in, right?"

Izzie rolled her eyes at her friend. "Don't worry, Alex, your name is still on the board…because _your _Shepherd looks out for you. I mean, I don't get what the big deal is about this resident from New York. I mean, who does he think he is moving in on _my _Shepherd and _my _surgery? I'd love to give him a piece of my mind."

"So why are we all standing around outside of an on-call room?" a voice rang out.

The four doctors turned, and found themselves face to face with a young woman with dark hair and bright blue eyes.

"The Shepherds went in there together about five minutes ago," Izzie explained. "_I_ need to speak to Dr. Shepherd. These three," she said, gesturing towards Alex, George, and Cristina, "are probably taking bets on what's going down in there."

"The Shepherds went into an on-call room together?" the woman asked in surprise. "The Shepherds, as in Derek and Addison Shepherd?"

George nodded. "It's not what you think, though. They were angry…very angry."

"Aren't they divorced?" the woman asked.

"They are," Alex confirmed. "But things are kind of, uh, complicated. Are you new?" he asked, giving the woman the once over. "You'd have to be not to know about the Shepherd's situation. Plus, I'm pretty sure I'd remember it if I saw you around."

"Alex," Izzie chided, smacking her friend playfully.

"I don't work here," the woman answered. "So, wait, Addie kept Derek's last name?" the woman asked in surprise.

Alex nodded. "Yeah, it was some kind of professional decision or…wait, Addie…Derek…are you on a first name basis with the Shepherds?"

"Yeah," the woman chuckled. "Something like that. I'm scrubbing in on their surgery, this afternoon."

"Hey, so am I," Alex smiled.

"So you're the hot-shot resident from New York," Izzie muttered.

"Hot-shot resident from New York works," the woman laughed. "But I actually prefer Amelia. Amelia Shepherd," she said, extending her hand.

"Sh-Shepherd as in related to _our_ Shepherds?" Izzie asked in surprise.

"I'm Derek's younger sister," Amelia nodded. "Hey, so do Addie and Derek know that you guys are this possessive over them? I mean, I guess it's cute, but it's also kind of weird."

"We're not really that-" George began, but he cut himself off mid-sentence, when Addison and Derek emerged from the on-call room together. She still looked angry; he still looked frustrated.

Alex looked over at Amelia, whose eyes were as wide as saucers. "I take it you haven't been in touch with the Shepherds for a while," he smirked.

"I, uh, I…no, no I haven't," Amelia stammered, unable to tear her eyes away from her brother and former sister-in-law.

"Well, congratulations," Alex grinned brightly, patting Amelia on the shoulder. "You're gonna be an aunt."

"I…what?" Amelia breathed, still confused by the entire situation.

"Oh, and I'll save you the hassle of having to ask the awkward question," Alex chuckled. "It's his baby," he whispered in Amelia's ear.

"Karev," Addison barked, making her way over to where Alex was standing. "Why are you standing around? We have-." But she interrupted herself mid-sentence when she saw her former sister-in-law standing next to her intern. "Amelia!" she exclaimed excitedly, rushing in to give the younger woman a hug. "What are you doing here?"

"I was flown out to scrub in on the surgery that you and Derek are performing today," Amelia explained. "It's supposed to be a really good learning experience. But why are we talking about me? We should be talking about you…look at you!"

"What is she doing here?" Derek asked Addison angrily, as he walked over to where his ex-wife, sister, and Alex were standing.

"Hello, Derek. Nice to see you too," Amelia said sarcastically.

"Are you in some kind of trouble…again?" Derek asked icily.

Amelia shook her head. "No. Relax, Derek, I'm here to scrub in on the surgery that you and Addie are performing today."

"You are _not_ scrubbing in on my surgery," Derek said matter-of-factly, folding his arms across his chest.

"Come on, Derek," Addison pleaded. "Don't be like this."

"Oh, so now you're talking to me?" Derek asked his ex-wife.

"In a professional capacity, yes, of course, I am," Addison answered stiffly.

Derek sighed in frustration. "Amelia's still not scrubbing in on my surgery," he insisted. "I don't know why Richard even flew her out here."

"Because I'm good, Derek," Amelia retorted haughtily.

"No, you're a mess," Derek corrected her. "And I won't have you in my O.R."

"Derek," Addison said sharply.

"Addison, you know as well as anyone how much pain Amelia caused my mother and my family. Her being here can only bring trouble."

"Derek, that was a long time ago," Addison argued. "She's in a top medical program. You need to let go of your grudge and stop treating your sister like she's a little kid."

"I don't care. I don't _need_ to do anything when it comes to her." Derek said. "I'm going to Richard." He turned to Amelia. "Have a safe trip back to New York," he told his sister.

Addison shook her head in disgust. "Come on, Amelia," she smiled, "let's go grab some lunch before we have to scrub in. We have a lot to catch up on."

"Sounds good," Amelia grinned. She turned to Derek, who still looked pissed, and Alex, who looked confused beyond belief, and smiled smugly. "I'll see you two in surgery."

Derek ran his hand through his hair in frustration as he watched his sister and ex-wife walk away together.

"So, your sister seems nice," Alex smirked.

"Yeah, she's great," Derek muttered sarcastically.

"So, I take it you're not actually going to The Chief, are you?" Alex asked knowingly.

Derek shook his head. "No. I think I'm just going to grab some lunch." He looked at Alex. "Have you eaten yet?"

Alex looked at Derek in surprise. "Uh, no, I haven't."

"You could eat with me," Derek offered.

"Uh, thanks, Shepherd," Alex stammered uncomfortably, "but I usually just eat with the other interns."

"And I usually just eat in my office," Derek said. "But I want to keep an eye on Addison and Amelia, so…"

"So why don't you just eat with them?" Alex finished.

"I can't," Derek muttered. "Addison's not speaking to me, and I'm not speaking to Amelia, so I can't have lunch with them."

"Well, that is a problem," Alex smirked, patting Derek on the back. "Good luck with that, and enjoy your lunch."

xxxxx

"Why is Evil Spawn eating lunch with Shepherd?" Cristina asked, taking a bite of her sandwich.

George followed Cristina's gaze a couple tables over to where Derek and Alex were sitting, and laughed. "Maybe he's too cool to eat lunch with us now. It seems like the Shepherds are really taking a liking to him. First Addison, now Derek…I don't know what's going on."

"I have to admit, I could get used to this," Cristina smirked. "The table's a lot more peaceful without him. I hope this becomes a regular thing."

"I _dated_ Derek, and we never ate lunch together in the hospital cafeteria," Meredith complained. "Why does Derek want to eat lunch with Alex? Why does Alex want to eat lunch with Derek?"

"Uh, I don't think Alex is exactly happy about it," Izzie chuckled, taking in the pained expression on Alex's face. "And I always kind of got the impression that Alex was closer with She-Shepherd than he was with He-Shepherd."

"Yeah, but Addison's eating with Derek's sister," Cristina pointed out. "Word on the street is that Derek and his sister don't exactly get along."

"I still don't get why that means that Alex needs to eat lunch with Derek," Meredith grumbled.

"Yeah, well, the four of them have surgery together in a couple of hours," Izzie said. "It was supposed to my surgery, but they took me off it and replaced me with _another_ Shepherd."

"Should we be worried about Alex?" George asked in concern. "I mean, that's a lot of Shepherds for one person to deal with."

"Oh, he'll be fine," Cristina smirked, looking over at Alex, and laughing at how uncomfortable he looked. "I mean, I'm glad it's him, and not me, in that situation, but Alex can handle the Shepherds."

xxxxx

"So, how was your lunch with Addie's hot intern?" Amelia asked her brother.

"Fine," Derek said, not bothering to look up.

"Derek, can we please talk?" Amelia asked, growing serious.

"Why?" Derek asked. "I have nothing to say to you."

"Just give me five minutes," Amelia pleaded.

"Okay," Derek sighed, walking into an empty on-call room. "Five minutes."

"Thank you," Amelia smiled, as Derek sat down on the bed.

"What do you want to talk about?" Derek asked.

"Well first of all," Amelia smirked, walking over to where Derek was sitting, and punching him playfully in the bicep.

"Ouch!" Derek yelped. "What was that for?"

"You're an idiot," Amelia said bluntly.

"I have surgery in an hour," Derek said, rubbing his arm. "Is that how you treat someone who's about to operate?"

"You're an idiot," Amelia repeated.

"Why am I an idiot?" Derek asked.

"Derek, what are you doing?"

"I _was_ getting ready for surgery, but then you came along and-"

"I mean with Addison…you two are perfect for each other."

"Look, Amelia, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but-"

"But you're gonna run back to your intern?" Amelia cut in.

"What? No." Derek answered quickly. "I want Addison. It's just, things with us are…tricky."

"Tricky, how?" Amelia asked, raising an eyebrow.

Derek sighed. "Even before we found out about the baby, I had been having second thoughts about our divorce. And then, when Addison told me that we were having a baby, I was thrilled. I mean, we were divorced, and I was dating Meredith…and I think Addison was expecting me to be angry or upset when she told me she was pregnant, but I wasn't. I couldn't be. Because I want this baby…with Addison. And then Addison and I naturally began spending more and more time together and, I don't know, things between us started to feel the way the used to…you know, the way they felt towards the beginning of our marriage. And I wanted to give things with her another shot. And she wanted to give things with me another shot. But then she came over to my trailer, yesterday, and Meredith was there, and –"

"She walked in on you and Meredith having sex?"

"We weren't having sex," Derek defended. "Nothing was going on. We were just drinking tequila, and Addison got the wrong impression and blew things way out of proportion."

"Tell me, Derek, how would you have felt if you had walked in on Addison and Mark in that same position and she told you that nothing was going on?"

Derek felt his fists ball up at the thought. "I'd want to kill him," he muttered.

Amelia chuckled. "Look, Derek, I think it's great that you and Addison want to make things work, but you both clearly have still have a lot of trust issues…so you might want to work on that, you know, before you jump back into a relationship or something."

"Kathleen's the shrink, Amelia, not you."

"I know," Amelia smiled. "I'm a brain surgeon. And speaking of which, we really should go prep for surgery."

"Okay," Derek nodded, standing up off the bed. "Hey Amelia?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

xxxxx

"Call it, Karev," Addison instructed.

Alex looked at his boss, and she nodded sadly. "Time of death: 3:46," he sighed.

"Shit," Derek choked out, as he looked at the lifeless baby girl in front of him. "Damn it."

"Derek, are you okay?" Amelia asked her brother in concern.

"I, uh, I have to get out of here," Derek stammered, rushing out of the O.R., refusing to make eye contact with anyone.

Amelia and Alex watched silently as Addison instinctively followed her ex-husband out of the O.R. and into the hallway.

"Should we go with them?" Alex asked Amelia.

Amelia shook her head. "No. Let's let her comfort him. She's always been good at that."

Alex nodded. "You know, I wasn't expecting him to be the one to break down. I thought it was gonna be her."

"No," Amelia said shaking her head. "He doesn't work with babies as much as she does. This makes sense."

xxxxx

Addison silently followed her ex-husband into the closest on-call room. She couldn't remember the last time she saw Derek so upset about losing a patient. He was usually the calm and composed one; she was the one who got too emotionally invested – the one who had to learn how not to get too attached. She watched as he sat down on one of the on-call room beds, and put his head in his hands.

"Derek," she said softly, as she sat down beside him.

He looked up at her. "If you're here to apologize…to tell me that you're sorry that we lost our patient, I don't want to hear it. Sorry isn't going to make this better."

"That's not why I'm here, Derek."

He swallowed hard. "Well, if you're here to remind me that I'm an attending and that I shouldn't be getting attached…that I shouldn't be thinking about Baby Shep every time we lose an infant…well, I don't want that either."

"That's not why I'm here."

"Oh," Derek said quietly. "Good." He turned towards her, his eyes meeting hers. "Why are you here then?" he asked.

"Because I couldn't not be here," she said softly, wrapping her arms around him.

"Thank you," he whispered, as he lingered in her embrace; and they sat there in silence, for a few moments, her holding him.

"I know it's stupid," he said quietly. "And I know it's something that attendings aren't supposed to do…but when we lost that baby, in there, I couldn't help thinking about Baby Shep. I-"

"I know," Addison nodded. "You know, the same thing happened to me, a few months ago, when I lost a baby in surgery," she admitted. "I mean, I know that, as a doctor, you're supposed to stay removed…you're supposed to keep yourself detached…but it's hard not to think about Baby Shep."

"Yeah," Derek agreed. "It just, it scares the hell out of you, you know?"

Addison nodded in understanding, as she rubbed his back gently. "She's okay, though," she said, doing her best to comfort him. "Baby Shep is perfectly-"

But she cut herself off, mid-sentence, and Derek's eyes widened in concern as he watched her hand fly to her stomach.

"Addison?" he asked worriedly.

"I'm okay," she reassured him. "It's just…here," she smiled, taking his hand and pressing it against her stomach.

He waited for a moment before feeling a light thud against his hand, a wide smile coming to his face. "Oh my God, did you feel that?" he breathed, unable to stop smiling.

Addison was tempted to tell Derek that of course she had felt it – that she was the one who had brought his hand to her stomach in the first place. But he seemed so happy, she figured it wouldn't kill her to keep her snide comment to herself. "Yeah," she smiled. "I think it's her way of saying, 'Don't worry so much, Daddy.'"

Derek smiled at Addison's use of the word, 'daddy,' as he continued to rub the spot where he had felt his daughter kick. He couldn't help smiling; his daughter wasn't even born yet and, already, she knew how to make what had been a truly horrible day better.

"Hey, Addison, about last night," Derek began, suddenly feeling more desperate than ever to set things right with Addison. "I swear, there was nothing-"

But Addison just shook her head. "Let's not talk about that right now," she said.

He was about to protest, but a soft fluttering against his hand made him think better of it. "Okay," he agreed. Sure, he wanted to press the issue further, but he wasn't about to ruin this moment between him, Addison, and their daughter.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Thank you so much for the kind feedback on this story, so far! I always love hearing what you think! I hope you like this chapter; and I've already started working on the next chapter so, hopefully, I'll be able to post it pretty quickly. Hope you enjoy this chapter, and thanks so much for reading!

* * *

"You're in a good mood, this morning, Dr. Shepherd,"

Derek shrugged. "Yeah, I guess I am," he smiled. Izzie wasn't wrong – he was in a good mood. He had just returned from Baby Shep's 24-week ultrasound, and everything looked perfect. Sure, things with him and Addison weren't quite back on track yet, but things between them were considerably better, and he was hopeful.

"Anyway," Izzie continued, "I just need to pick up our patient's file from the nurses' station, and then I'll meet you in our patient's room for the consult. Room 5342, right?"

"I'll just go with you to pick up the file," Derek offered with a smile. "Then we can head up to our patient's room together."

"Okay," Izzie agreed, as she and her boss began making their way to the nurses' station. Her breath hitched in her throat at the sound of what had become very routine gossip among the nurses, over the past couple of months, and she glanced at Derek nervously.

"Hey, Dr. Shepherd, why don't you wait here, and I'll just grab the file," Izzie suggested, desperate to spare her boss from hearing the gossip that she had grown so accustomed to hearing.

"Don't be ridiculous, Stevens," Derek insisted, as he quickened his pace. "Besides," he added with a teasing smile, "there are a lot of nurses over there, today, and I'm a little behind on the hospital gossip, so-"

But he cut himself off mid-sentence, and felt his entire body clench up when he heard one of the nurses ask, "So nobody knows if the Shepherds are having a boy or a girl?"

"No," another nurse answered. "They're keeping things really quiet. But apparently, they've been calling their son or daughter Baby Shep."

"Baby Shep," another nurse chuckled. "I think the only accurate part about that nickname is the initials…B.S. That's a bullshit baby if ever there was one. There's no way that baby is his."

"I know," the first nurse agreed. "You just know that kid's going to come out looking like Mark Sloan. You know, it wouldn't even surprise me if she was carrying her intern's baby…they have seemed pretty close lately. And, I mean, she strikes me as just evil enough to pull something like that. You know, her husband left her for an intern, so she screws her own intern, gets pregnant, and then convinces her ex-husband that the baby's his."

"I don't know if she's _that_ evil," another nurse disagreed. "But he's definitely _that_ stupid. I mean, does he honestly think that the baby is his? He's supposed to be a brain surgeon, right?"

"I just hope that they have a boy," another nurse cut in. "I mean, she's a whore and he's a gullible fool, and neither of those traits should _ever_ be passed down, but a little girl who gets those traits…well, I wouldn't envy anything about her…even if she is the daughter of two world-class surgeons."

"Presuming that Shepherd _is_ actually the father," the first nurse snorted.

"Right," another nurse laughed.

Derek felt like he was going to be sick; he could literally feel the vomit rising in his throat. Of course, he believed Addison when she had told him about the malicious gossip that was being spread about them throughout the hospital, but he didn't realize just how cruel it was.

"Dr. Shepherd," Izzie said gently.

Derek looked at his intern in surprise; he had completely forgotten that she was there.

"Let me go get our patient's file," Izzie offered.

But Derek shook his head. "You stay here," he instructed, as he made his way over to the group of nurses, who had their backs turned toward him, and who were still gossiping loudly about him and Addison.

"Excuse me," Derek cut in sharply, getting the nurses' attention.

The nurses turned, and all of them looked at him in surprise.

"Dr. Shepherd," one of them finally managed to squeak out. "Can, can we do something for you?"

"Actually, you can," Derek said matter-of-factly. "The next time you're in the mood to gossip about someone, I would strongly advise you to make sure that he's not a couple of feet over listening to every single word you're saying."

"Dr. Shepherd, we-"

But Derek cut her off with a head shake. "There is absolutely _nothing_ you can do or say to make things better. So, if I were you, I wouldn't even try."

And with that, he grabbed his patient's folder, and stormed off, forcing Izzie to have to break into a jog to catch up with him.

"Hey, Dr. Shepherd, you do realize that our patient's room isn't in this hallway," Izzie said gently when Derek stopped in empty corridor. "It isn't even on this floor."

Derek nodded. "I know, Stevens. I just, I need a minute," he said, slumping against the wall, before sitting down on the floor, his head in his hands.

"Okay," Izzie said understandingly, sitting down on the floor next to him, and falling into an uncomfortable silence.

"So," Izzie said, after a moment, "you and Addison are having a girl."

Derek looked at Izzie in surprise. "What? Where'd you get that from?"

Izzie shrugged. "I don't know. I just, I heard what the nurses were saying, and I saw how you reacted and I…you're having a girl, aren't you?"

"I," Derek hesitated, remembering his and Addison's agreement to keep things quiet. But there was something in the way that Izzie was looking at him…something in the tone of her voice that made him think he could trust her. "We are," he confirmed, letting out the breath he hadn't realized he was holding.

Izzie smiled widely. "That's awesome!" she exclaimed. "You're daughter is seriously going to be the best dressed child ever."

Derek chuckled at his intern's enthusiasm but, still, he wasn't able to push what the nurses had said out of his head.

And Izzie could sense this. "You're stupid if you let the nurses' gossip get to you," she told her boss bluntly. "I mean, if anyone in this hospital should be having a baby, it should be you and Addison. And the fact that you're having a girl…well, I just think it makes it even more perfect."

Derek gave his intern a slight smile, as he felt the tightness in his chest begin to loosen.

"I can't even begin to imagine all the little dresses that Addison has probably picked out for her already," Izzie continued. "I mean, I get that your ex-wife might not be the most well-liked person around this place, but nobody can ever deny that the woman knows how to dress."

Derek couldn't help chuckling at Izzie's assessment of his ex-wife. "We actually haven't bought too many outfits for Baby Shep yet," Derek said. "That's what Addison and I have been calling her," he explained quickly. "But we have bought her a ton of those little baby hats. Addison really likes them and, even I've got to admit, they're pretty cute."

"Well, I wouldn't buy too many of them," Izzie advised. "Your daughter's going to have amazing hair…no point in covering that up."

Derek laughed. "I'll have to talk to Addison about that."

Izzie nodded. "Hey, Dr. Shepherd?"

"Yes, Dr. Stevens?"

"You and Addison are going to be great parents. I mean, we've only been talking about your daughter for a couple of minutes and, already, I can tell that you're going to be incredible with her, so you really shouldn't take what those nurses were saying seriously…because they don't know what they're talking about."

Derek couldn't help smiling at his intern's words. "Thank you, Dr. Stevens," he nodded. "That means a lot."

xxxxx

"Hey," Derek smiled, early the next morning, as Addison opened the front door to her house and let him inside. "Are you ready to go?"

"I am," Addison responded. "Let me just grab my coat."

"Okay," Derek nodded, as Addison disappeared into the hallway closet.

"Are you sure you're up for this, Derek?" Addison smirked, as she emerged from the closet with her jacket in hand. "I mean, you don't exactly love interior design and shopping for home accessories."

Derek chuckled at that. Addison wasn't wrong. He had felt completely lost when he and Addison had decorated their brownstone in New York, and Addison had pretty much decorated their house in the Hamptons all by herself when he irritated her by insisting that all of the paint swatches and fabric swatches that she was showing him all looked the same.

"This is different," Derek defended, moving towards Addison, and gently placing a hand on her stomach, smiling widely when he felt a light flutter against his palm. "This is Baby Shep's nursery. I want to help."

He really did. He still hadn't been able to completely erase the nurses' gossip, from the day before, from his mind, and he wanted to do something for his daughter and for Addison. So, when Addison invited him to help her shop for things for Baby Shep's nursery, he jumped at the opportunity (even if interior design wasn't exactly his forte).

"Hey, she's really active in there today," Derek grinned, as his daughter continued to kick against his hand.

"I know. She's been like that all morning," Addison said, putting on her jacket. "I think she knows we're going shopping for her."

"So much like you already," Derek teased.

Addison shook her head in amusement, before closing the door to her house behind her and Derek, and walking with her ex-husband towards his car.

They arrived at a baby furniture boutique fifteen minutes later and, as they stood in front of the store, Addison removed a few paint swatches from her purse.

"I know you hate these," she told Derek, handing him three paint swatches, "but these are the colors I'm thinking of."

Derek accepted the paint swatches and looked at them carefully.

"I definitely want to her nursery to be predominantly grey," Addison said, pointing to the light grey paint swatch in Derek's hand. "But I can't decide if we should accent with pale pink or pale purple."

Derek studies the two paint swatches. "I think I like the pale pink," he said, doing his best to be helpful.

"Hmm," Addison frowned, "I was kind of leaning towards the purple. Anyway," she shrugged, "I'm not committed to either color yet. I just thought it would be helpful to have a rough idea of potential color schemes when we look for furniture, bedding, and nursery accessories."

Derek nodded, feeling incredibly grateful that Addison was so on top of the planning for their daughter's nursery; he couldn't imagine doing this alone.

"Ready to shop?" Addison asked her ex-husband, with a teasing smirk.

"Yeah," Derek nodded. "I'm ready."

Derek had to admit, shopping for his daughter's nursery was a lot more fun than he expected it to be. Addison was really into it and, even though he didn't feel like he was particularly helpful when it came to choosing stylish cribs or dressers, the idea that in just a few short months, the crib and the dressers that they chose would actually be serving a purpose, made the whole process exciting.

He did his best to help Addison where he could, but he also realized that Addison was a lot better at this than he was, so he generally followed her lead and deferred to her taste. But when a crib bedding set caught his eye, everything changed.

"Addison," he called out, walking over to his ex-wife, who was looking at changing tables. "You have to see this. I think I found the perfect bedding for Baby Shep's crib."

Addison couldn't help smiling at Derek's enthusiasm. "Okay," she nodded, following him over to the bedding section of the store.

"What do you think?" Derek asked when they stopped in front of an undeniably elegant bedding set.

Addison smiled as she took in the pale purple, light grey, cream, and black, paisley-patterned bedding.

"Then she can have a light grey and pale purple nursery, like you wanted," Derek smiled.

Addison swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat, as she remembered one of the first arguments that she and Derek had gotten into when she first arrived in Seattle.

"_Derek, I messed up. People mess up."  
_"_You slept with my best friend on my favorite sheets."  
_"_The flannel sheets? You hate the flannel sheets."  
_"_No, I love the sheets."  
_"_You like the Italian sheets with the paisleys."  
_"_Would you just stop talking about the sheets?"  
_"_Fine."_

"Since when do you like paisley bedding?" Addison asked her ex-husband.

"I've always liked paisley bedding," Derek insisted. "Don't you remember my favorite sheets back in New York?"

"You said you loved the flannel sheets," Addison reminded him.

Derek shook his head. "I hated the flannel sheets. You were right. I just, I said that I loved them because…because they seemed more in line with the person I was trying to become out here…you know, the wood-chopping fisherman," he said, with a smirk. "The truth is I loved the Italian sheets with the paisleys. I always have. They're classier, more adult…more me."

Addison swallowed hard at Derek's confession. Was he really only talking about bed sheets?

"I think this bedding is perfect," Addison smiled, as she gestured towards the crib set that Derek had picked out, desperate to change the subject. "And I really do want her nursery to be grey and purple, so this is…really great."

Derek smiled widely, feeling glad that he could say that he at least played a small part in helping to decorate his daughter's nursery. "You really like this bedding?" he asked uncertainly. "Because, if you don't, you don't have to get it just because I like it…I'm sure-"

"Derek," Addison interrupted. "I love this bedding." She smiled and raised an eyebrow at her ex-husband coyly. "Don't you remember; the paisley sheets were my favorites too."

xxxxx

"What do you think about the name, Pearl?" Derek asked from his spot on Addison's couch, as he thumbed through a book of baby names. "It's kind of old-fashioned, but I like it."

Addison looked at her ex-husband and shook her head. "It won't work. Initials, Derek."

"What's wrong with P.S.?" Derek asked. "I mean, I know some people write P.S. in letters, but that's not a deal breaker. Besides, no one writes letters anymore."

Addison looked at Derek pointedly. "I'd like our daughter to have my last name too."

"Which one?" Derek teased. "You kept Shepherd, remember?"

Addison rolled her eyes at her ex-husband.

"Okay, fine," Derek conceded. "Pearl Montgomery-Shepherd," he said, testing out the name. "P.M.S. Oh, no, that won't work," he laughed. "I mean, I guess it could; because her initials wouldn't actually be P.M.S. Her middle name will break that up."

Addison shook her head. "No, it won't work," she insisted.

"It could work," Derek defended, a mischievous glint in his eye. "We could always just give her a million names, like you."

"We're not doing that, Derek," Addison said, shaking her head in amusement.

"Okay," Derek agreed. "We won't give her a million names, and any first name that begins with a P is officially off the table."

Addison smiled. This was shaping up to be a pretty good day. After she and Derek finished shopping for things for Baby Shep's nursery, they went back to her place for lunch. And when Derek saw a book of baby names sitting on Addison's coffee table, they decided that now was as good a time as any to start talking about names for their daughter. After all, they couldn't call her Baby Shep forever.

"Whoever thought that coming up with a name would be so hard?" Derek muttered as he continued to flip through the book of baby names. "Hey, do you like Caroline?" he asked with a smile.

"I do," Addison nodded, wincing in pain, as she rubbed her stomach. "But it's too similar to your mother's name. And if we're going to name our daughter after somebody in your family, trust me, it won't be your mother."

Derek chuckled. "Okay," he agreed. "Hey, are you okay?" he asked in concern, as he watched Addison's hand move towards her lower back, a pained grimace on her face.

"I'm fine," she breathed. "It's just some…cramping. I'm sure it's nothing."

Derek looked at Addison uncertainly. It didn't seem like nothing. He looked over at his ex-wife again, and literally felt his entire body freeze in panic when he heard Addison draw a sharp, pained breath.

"Addison," he said in concern.

But she wasn't listening to him. She was staring wide-eyed at her hand, which had moved towards her inner thigh. "Blood," she gasped, as she took in the blood that was on her hand and soaking her wrap dress. "Derek, blood."


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: Thank you so much for your kind feedback on the last chapter! I realize that I stopped at a pretty cruel point, so I really did try to get this chapter ready and posted quickly – and it's a pretty long chapter. :) I hope you like it and, as always, thank you for reading!

* * *

Derek Shepherd remembered nothing and everything about that drive to the hospital. He couldn't remember the basics – how he had gotten Addison to his car; how he had managed to make the fifteen minute drive from Addison's house to Seattle Grace Hospital in seven minutes flat; where he parked his car once they had arrived at the hospital. But the little things – the smaller, more painful details – were forever etched into his memory. He remembered the look of panic on Addison's face when she told him she was having contractions. He remembered the way she took his hand in hers, when they were stopped at a red light, and told him that even though she didn't think she was in danger, if something were to happen and it came down to either saving her or saving the baby, that she wanted her doctors to ignore protocol and save their daughter. He remembered her passing out (from the blood or the pain or something completely different) only two minutes after she had told him that she didn't think that she was in any danger. And he remembered pulling Alex Karev aside, in a panicked frenzy, because he was the intern who would be scrubbing in, and making Alex promise to make sure that nothing happened to Addison or his daughter.

Richard had tried to distract Derek by offering to have a cup of coffee with him in the hospital cafeteria. But Derek wouldn't hear of it. If he couldn't be in the O.R., he wanted to do the next best thing – sit in the waiting area directly outside of the O.R.

He hadn't been out there very long, when Alex walked out of the O.R. And Derek knew that couldn't be a good sign. It was way too soon for Alex to be leaving the O.R. This couldn't be good news.

"Karev," Derek choked out, standing slightly. "Wh-what happened?" he asked, his voice thick with emotion.

Alex met Derek's eyes. "I pulled myself out of the surgery," he confessed.

Derek looked at Alex in confusion. The interns at Seattle Grace were like bloodhounds when it came to surgeries; he couldn't imagine one of them willingly pulling themselves out of one. "Why'd you do that?" he asked.

Alex sighed. "I, it's just, Addison and I have become friends over the past few months, and you and I have become…considerably less hostile towards each other. And I know how much Baby Shep means to both of you, and I just, I couldn't be in there. So I told Bailey I couldn't do it, and she looked at me kind of funny, but then she saw how badly my hands were shaking, and she made me leave…she said I was making her nervous."

Derek nodded. He and Addison didn't have many friends at Seattle Grace, but Alex Karev had just proven that he was their friend. And although he never in a million years imagined himself being friends with his ex-wife's cocky intern, Alex clearly cared about the people closet to him – Addison and Baby Shep – and Derek couldn't ask for much more than that.

"I, uh, I can leave, if you want to be alone," Alex stuttered, cutting into Derek's thoughts.

But Derek shook his head. "Stay," he said quietly. "I could use a friend right now."

The two men sat there quietly for a few minutes before Derek finally turned to Alex. "They're going to be okay, right?" he asked. "I mean, you were only in there for a few minutes, but they're going to be okay?"

Alex did his best to give his boss a comforting smile. He had no idea whether Addison and Baby Shep would be okay, so he did the only thing he could do – he echoed the words that he and Derek had heard Addison say so many times in the past. "Addison's a fighter, Dr. Shepherd. They both are."

xxxxx

"Is she okay?" Mark asked, sitting down beside Derek.

Derek looked at the man who, up until a little while ago, he considered his best friend, and shrugged sadly. "I don't know," he admitted.

"I, uh, here," Mark said, handing Derek the Styrofoam cup in his hand. "It's hot chocolate," he said quietly, as Derek took a sip. Mark knew that coffee was probably the better choice – that his friend could probably use some caffeine, right now. But hot chocolate was so completely Addison and Derek that Mark couldn't resist buying it.

"Thank you," Derek said gratefully.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Mark asked gently.

Derek looked from Mark to Alex, and then back to Mark. "You don't have to do this, Mark. After everything that's happened between us…between you and Addison…you, you don't have to do this."

"I know I don't have to do this," Mark said quietly. "But you're my best friend, Derek. And Addison…she means a lot to me. So, if you want to talk, I'm here to listen."

Derek nodded. "She just, she just started bleeding," he choked out. "Everything was fine…we were discussing baby names, and she just, she started bleeding."

"Pre-term labor," Alex said quietly.

"I just, I don't know how something like this happens," Derek continued sadly. "I mean, everything was fine. We had a doctor's appointment, yesterday, and everything was perfect. And everything was normal this morning. Addison and I went shopping for things for Baby Shep's nursery, and Addison seemed fine. And Baby Shep," he said, a slight smile coming to his face, "she was kicking like crazy. And not just slight movements, but really strong, hard kicks. Everything was fine…everything was great. And now, they're both in there fighting for their lives, and I, I don't know what I'm going to do if they don't make it."

"They're gonna make it," Alex insisted, trying to sound confident. "Addison has Bailey in there with her, and there's no way that Bailey's going to let anything happen to Addison or Baby Shep under her watch."

"Karev's got a point," Mark agreed.

Derek nodded half-heartedly. He appreciated his friends' optimism, but it wasn't doing much to calm his nerves.

"Hey," Izzie said, as she approached Derek, Mark, and Alex. "Does anyone know why the nurses are acting so…" But she cut herself off mid-sentence when she took in the pained expressions on the three men's faces. "Uh, is everything okay?" she asked worriedly.

Alex looked over at Derek, and Derek nodded slightly. "Hey, Iz, why don't you and I see if we can keep the nurses away from this area," Alex offered. "I'll explain things to you on the way."

"Okay," Izzie agreed, as she and Alex walked away.

"I've really grown to hate the nurses here," Derek muttered.

Mark chuckled. "Yeah, I heard you had quite the showdown with them the other day."

Derek shrugged. "I guess." He turned to face his friend. "Look, Mark, you really don't have to sit here with me. I mean, this can't be easy for you with your and Addison's history."

"She told you about the abortion?" Mark asked.

Derek nodded.

Mark ran a hand through his hair. "It was the right decision for her at the time," he sighed. "She didn't do it to hurt me."

"That doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt," Derek said softly.

"Yeah," Mark agreed.

"And these past few months couldn't have been easy for you," Derek continued. "You know, watching her walk around the hospital carrying my baby."

Mark met Derek's eyes. "You know what won't be easy on me? If Addison doesn't make it…if the baby doesn't make it. That'll be hell on earth, because even though Addison and I have been avoiding each other lately, I know how much she wants this baby with you. I've always known how much she's wanted a baby with you. I can handle Addison walking around the hospital carrying your baby. Sure, sometimes it hurts, but I can handle it. What I can't handle is not seeing Addison at the hospital every day. I can't handle the idea of her losing a baby that she wants so much…that you both want so much. Because, despite everything that's happened between you and me and Addison, you two are still the closest thing I have to family."

"Mark, I'm so sorry that Addison and I spent the last few months avoiding you. We just, we didn't want to be hurtful."

"Well, I have been shooting you guys some pretty serious glares," Mark smirked. "You know, just to make you uncomfortable. But you and Addison can stop avoiding me now. I'm okay, and I've missed you guys."

"I've missed you too, Mark," Derek smiled, extending his hand to Mark.

"Please," Mark grinned. "We're family. Family doesn't shake hands," he insisted, pulling Derek in for a hug, gulping when he realized how much his friend's body was trembling in fear. "Hey, it's okay, Derek," Mark said, trying to be comforting. "It's gonna be okay."

"Am I interrupting something?" a voice rang out behind them.

The two men quickly separated, embarrassed looks on both of their faces.

"Dr. Bailey," Derek managed to choke out. "How is she? How are they?"

"She's fine," Bailey smiled. "They're both fine. We were able to stop the contractions. The baby's fine. And Addison's conscious again. She's just-"

But she was cut off by Derek hugging her tightly.

"What the hell are you doing, Shepherd?" Bailey asked uncomfortably, as Derek continued to hug her.

"Thank you," Derek whispered. "Thank you so much."

"Uh, you're welcome. But this really isn't necessary," the resident insisted.

"Can I see her?" Derek asked, pulling away from Bailey. "Can I see Addison?"

"You can," Bailey nodded. "I'll have one of the scrub nurses bring you to her room."

Derek turned to Mark. "Do you want come?" he asked his friend.

"You go," Mark said. "Tell Addie I'll be up to see her a little later."

"Okay," Derek nodded, as he turned to follow the scrub nurse up to Addison's room.

"Hey Dr. Bailey, are you okay?" Mark asked his coworker, when he noticed that she was still staring after Derek.

Bailey turned to face Mark, and swallowed hard. "Yeah," she nodded. "It's just…he saved my husband, and she delivered my son. You have no idea how stressful it was in that O.R. today…how much I needed to make sure that both Addison and the baby made it, and-"

"And I can't tell you how grateful I am for everything you did in there, Dr. Bailey," Mark interrupted, wrapping his arms around her. "I can't thank you enough."

"Uh, yeah, you're welcome," Bailey stammered, doing her best to remove herself from Mark's strong arms, and shooting him a 'what the hell do you think you're doing' look when she finally succeeded.

Mark was prepared to explain himself, but before he had the chance, Alex and Izzie came rushing towards them.

"Is everything okay?" Alex asked in concern. "Is she okay?"

"She is," Mark smiled. "They both are. Dr. Bailey and the rest of the team were able to stop the contractions, and Addison and the baby are both doing well. Derek's up there with her right now."

Alex breathed a sigh of relief before pulling Bailey into a tight hug. "Thank you," he grinned.

"Okay, this has got to stop," Bailey insisted uncomfortably.

"Oh, uh, sorry," Alex stammered, moving away from his boss. "I, uh, I should probably go see how the babies in the NICU are doing."

"Yeah, I should really check up on my patients too," Mark agreed, as he and Alex walked down the hall together.

"You okay, Dr Bailey?" Izzie asked, turning to her boss, who still had a perplexed expression on her face.

"Yeah," Bailey nodded. "It's just been a weird day. And the men in this hospital…when did they all become such huggers?"

"Huggers?" Izzie asked in surprise.

"Yes, huggers," Bailey affirmed. "In a matter of five minutes, I was hugged by Shepherd, Sloan, and Karev."

Izzie nodded approvingly. "So you're saying that you not only saved Addison and her baby, but you also got hugged by Shepherd, Sloan, and Alex? Dr. Bailey, I'd say you're having a pretty good day."

xxxxx

Derek's heart was beating so hard, he literally thought it was going to explode, as he made his way to Addison's room. Bailey had assured him that Addison and their daughter were okay, but he knew he wouldn't be able to relax until he saw this with his own eyes. Many times on the walk over to Addison's room, he was tempted to either ask the scrub nurse, who was walking over there with him, to kindly pick up her pace, or to just run ahead of the scrub nurse, all together. But he somehow managed to keep these urges in check and, after what felt like an eternity, he finally arrived at Addison's room.

"I take it you can handle it from here," the nurse said to him.

"I can," Derek nodded, looking through the glass window into his ex-wife's hospital room, trying to get a glimpse of Addison. She was sitting up in bed, and she looked perfectly healthy; and Derek felt the knots in his stomach begin to loosen.

"You have no idea how happy I am to see you," Derek breathed, his eyes misting over with tears, as he entered Addison's room. He immediately rushed over to her, and gently wrapped his arms around her. "How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Okay," Addison smiled. "Dr. Bailey and the rest of the team were able to stop the contractions. Baby Shep's out of the woods, and I should be able to carry her to term...so I'm good."

"Do they know what caused the bleeding or the contractions?" Derek asked, picking up Addison's chart from the side of the bed, and studying it carefully.

Addison nodded. "Pre-term labor," she answered, moving over in the bed so that Derek could sit down. "We were really lucky that my doctors were able to stop the contractions. Being born at twenty-four weeks would have put Baby Shep in a lot of danger. We're really, really lucky."

Addison was prepared to go on, and ramble off some bleak, off-hand statistics about the mortality rate of babies born at twenty-four weeks, and the complications that babies born so prematurely often face, but one look at Derek's face made her think better of it. She saw the worry and exhaustion in his eyes, and decided that he could live without the statistics; that they'd had enough stress for one day.

"You know," she began, with a slight smile, "everyone seems to think that everything's going to be okay. Baby Shep got a clean bill of health. And I haven't been put on bed rest. I can still work. I just have to stay here overnight for observation."

"I'll stay overnight too," Derek said quickly.

"Derek, you don't need to do that. Baby Shep's fine. They're mainly keeping me overnight to make sure that there wasn't any serious underlying reason to why I passed out earlier today. I mean, we all pretty much agreed that it was probably caused by massive blood loss, but we also agreed that it couldn't hurt to run some tests and keep me overnight, just in case. It's what I would have advised if I were the doctor, and not the patient. But, seriously, Derek, Baby Shep is in the clear. There's no reason for you to stay."

"What if I want to stay for you?" Derek asked softly.

"Derek."

"No, Addison. I can't even begin to tell you how worried I was about you today. I just kept thinking that if something, if something were to happen to you…I-I don't know what I'd do."

"Derek," Addison said, swallowing hard, "I'm fine. And I think you might be conflating your feelings for our daughter with your feelings for me, and that won't end well for anyone."

"I'm not," Derek insisted. "Believe me, I'm not. Addison, I love our daughter, but I love you too…in a way that's completely separate from the way I love Baby Shep. I loved you before we even found out we were having a baby."

"Derek."

"No, it's true," Derek persisted. "Do you remember that night when we went to the same restaurant for dinner, and I got your bill by mistake…the night you went on a date with that neuro fellow, Jason Dickerson?"

"Dickenson," Addison corrected him.

"Whatever," Derek chuckled. "The point is," he continued, his voice softening, "I was jealous. Addison, I'm in love with you. I want to be with you. And not just because we're having a baby together. Because you're the love of my life. After all that we've been through together, you're still the love of my life. And I know we've been flirting with the idea of getting back together, and I know we've had some setbacks, but almost losing you today, Addison…it made me realize, more than ever, how much I want to be with you…how I can't imagine my life without you in it. I love you, Addison."

"I love you too, Derek," Addison smiled, doing her best to keep the tears that were stinging her eyes at bay. "And not just because we're having a baby together. Because you're you, and I'm me, and I can't imagine myself ending up with anyone else."

"We're Derek and Addison," he said quietly, before leaning in and kissing her softly on the lips. She responded in kind, wrapping her arms around his neck and running her hands through his wavy hair, pulling back when she felt his lips tremble against hers.

"Der?" she said softly, still gently running her fingers through his hair.

Derek gave her a weak smile. There was something about kissing Addison…something about the way that she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in closer that caused the stress and the emotions of the day to catch up with him. He realized that, as happy as he was right now, things today could have easily gone very differently – and that thought overwhelmed him.

"If you wouldn't have made it, Addie," he choked out, holding her close. "If you wouldn't have made it, today," he repeated, tears pricking his eyes. He swallowed hard and met her eyes. "You know how much you mean to me, right?"

"I think I do," she smiled, gently caressing his cheek with her hand.

Derek smiled and brought his hand to her stomach, grinning widely when he felt their daughter kick against his hand.

"I think she feels a little left out," Addison chuckled. "She had rough day too."

Derek smiled at this. As much as he didn't want his daughter to feel neglected, he also knew that it was important to make sure that this moment – that him and Addison getting back together – was about him and Addison. Sure, their daughter had helped bring them together, but he wanted Addison to know that he wanted to be with _her_; that he cared about _her_; that he wasn't getting back together with her out of some sort of obligation or to fill this need he had to be a good guy. He had done that once, and it had nearly destroyed them. He wouldn't do that again.

Grinning, he turned his attention to his daughter, who was still moving and kicking against his hand. "I'm really glad you're okay, Baby Shep," he said softly. "I was really worried about you. And your mom and I…we love you very much, and it would break our hearts if…" he trailed off, unable and unwilling to finish the unbearable thought. "We can't wait to meet you," he smiled, as he continued to rub circles over his daughter.

"Which isn't an invitation to come today, tomorrow, or any time too soon," Addison cut in, her hands joining Derek's on her stomach. She could tell already that she was going to be the disciplinarian when it came to their daughter; Baby Shep wasn't even born yet, and she already had Derek wrapped around her little finger. But Addison was okay with that. Because she couldn't imagine her family any other way.

xxxxx

The interns' shifts had drawn to a close, and Cristina and George had already left for the evening. Alex and Izzie would be leaving soon too, but they had planned on stopping by Addison's room to check on the Shepherds, before heading home for the night. He wanted to check on Addison; she wanted to check on Derek. Both were surprised when Meredith asked to join them, but neither could think of a reason to deny her request, so the three interns made their way towards Addison's room together.

They had reached the nurses' station, but an intimate moment between the Shepherds stopped them from going any further. Someone had carelessly (or purposefully) forgotten to draw the blinds to the large window in Addison's room and, from the nurses' station, the interns could see into the room perfectly.

Addison was laying in the hospital bed, her head turned towards Derek, who was sitting in a chair beside her, looking at her adoringly, as he rubbed her stomach with one hand and ran his other hand through her hair. She was saying something to him and, although the interns couldn't make out what it was, it didn't matter. The look on Derek's face said it all – he was looking at her as though whatever she was saying was the most important thing in the world.

"So, she's okay?" Mark asked, as he joined the interns by the nurses' station.

Izzie tore her eyes away from the scene in front of her and turned her attention to the plastic surgeon standing next to her. "Yeah," she breathed, a small smile coming to her face.

"We could never have that," Meredith said quietly, still not turning her attention away from the Shepherds. "He could never love me like that."

Alex, Mark, and Izzie turned to look at her, and Meredith sighed. "I always thought that he'd come back to me," she admitted. "That he and Addison were only spending time together because of the baby. But even if he did come back to me, he could never love me like that…we could never have what they have."

Izzie nodded, and sympathetically patted her friend's shoulder, as Meredith continued to process what she, Alex, and Mark had already known for several months. She turned her attention to Alex and Mark, who were watching the Shepherds, genuine smiles on both men's faces. "It kind of makes you want that, doesn't it?" she asked.

"Yeah," Alex said softly, as Mark nodded along in agreement. "It kind of does."

xxxxx

"Derek, you really don't need to stay the night," Addison insisted, as Derek changed into a pair of scrubs in favor of the jeans and button down shirt he was wearing earlier.

"Do you remember that time, during our residency?" Derek began, completely ignoring Addison's previous statement. "I had tonsillitis, and had to spend the night in the hospital. And you spent the night with me. You spent the night, even though you were performing your first solo surgery the next morning, and you probably would have been a lot more comfortable sleeping in your own bed, instead of sharing an uncomfortable hospital bed with me…but you spent the night anyway."

Addison smiled at the memory. "I always slept better when you were there," she admitted.

"So let me be there," Derek whispered, climbing into bed next to her, and turning off the light. "I want to be there."

He wrapped his arms around her, and she rested her head on his chest, just like she had so many times when they were dating and married. He waited for her breathing to slow and even out before pulling her in closer, and finally closing his eyes to get some much-needed rest after what had easily been the longest, most stressful day of his life. He smiled contently, as Addison snuggled closer to him. She wouldn't be the only one sleeping better tonight.


	15. Chapter 15

Thank you so much for all of your kind feedback on the last chapter! I love hearing what you think! I hope you like this chapter – it's a _very _long one, but it didn't feel right splitting it up into two chapters. As always, thanks so much for reading!

* * *

"So are you and Derek getting remarried?"

Addison looked up from her salad, and met her friend's eyes.

"I mean, you guys have been officially back together for what…over two months now," Callie went on, taking a bite of her sandwich. "And you two have been acting like you're married for a hell of a lot longer than that, so why not just make it official?"

Addison smiled at her friend's assessment of her and Derek's relationship. The truth was she and Derek were discussing marriage – vaguely, at least. They agreed that it was something that they both wanted, but they also agreed that it could wait until after their daughter was born; and that taking some time and getting used to being a couple again might not be the worst thing for them.

"Right now, our biggest concern is the baby that we're bringing into the world in about a month," Addison told her friend. "We're kind of putting marriage on the backburner for now."

"You know what else you should really be putting on the backburner?" Callie asked, with a teasing smirk.

"What?"

"You working," Callie chuckled. "I mean, do the words maternity leave mean anything to you?"

Addison glared at her friend. "I've still got about a month to go, Cal. And I've already cut back on my hours."

"Yeah, begrudgingly," Callie smirked.

"I do this for a living," Addison insisted. "I think I'm more than qualified to decide when I should stop working."

"Oh, I don't doubt it," Callie laughed. "But I also don't doubt the fact that you'll be working up until the day you give birth."

Addison rolled her eyes at her friend. "Well, luckily for me, I work in a hospital…on the maternity floor…so, if it comes down to that, at least I'll be in the right place. By the way, are you working this weekend?"

"I am," Callie nodded. "Why?"

Addison sighed. "Derek's family is going to be in town, this weekend. If you weren't working, I'd ask you to come over to our place on Saturday. I'm trying to even out the ratio of Shepherds to non-Shepherds…and I need more non-Shepherds."

"Wait, his whole family is coming out here?" Callie chuckled. "Like all of his sisters, and his mother?"

Addison nodded.

"Why are they coming here now?" Callie asked in confusion. "I mean, why not wait a month or so, and make the trip once the baby's born?"

Addison gave her friend a dry smile. "Come on, Cal, you're a doctor…you can figure this out."

Callie's eyes widened in realization; "So, this is going to be an anti-Addison visit, isn't it?"

"Yeah," Addison nodded. "It is."

"But I thought you got along with Derek's sisters. I kind of got the impression that you were like their fifth sister."

"Oh, Derek's sisters and I get along. They're all fantastic, especially Amelia, but…"

"Derek's mother," Callie filled in knowingly.

"Exactly," Addison confirmed.

"So, wait, why doesn't she like you?"

Addison shrugged. "To be honest, I have no idea."

Callie looked at Addison pointedly. "Liar," she smirked.

"Okay, fine," Addison sighed. "She thinks that I'm rich and privileged and wrong for Derek. I also accidentally gave one of Derek's sisters food-poisoning one time, which couldn't have helped my cause."

Callie chuckled. "Haven't you and Derek ever talked about this? I mean, I can't imagine that it never came up over eleven years of marriage."

Addison shrugged. "I don't know, it's always kind of went unspoken. Over the years, it sort of became this well choreographed dance between the two of us. I would always insist that his mother liked me, even though I knew she didn't. And Derek would always agree with me, even though knew better."

"And that worked for you guys?"

Addison shrugged.

"You know, you could always talk to Derek about it," Callie suggested glibly.

"I know," Addison admitted. "It's just, it's his mother, and I don't want-"

"Addison, you and Derek are in a really good place, right now," Callie interrupted. "You two can handle this. And, seriously, what are you going to gain by not talking about it?"

Addison nodded, taking in her friend's advice. Callie did have a point. Not talking about things hadn't worked out very well for her and Derek in the past. And they really were in a good place. "I guess I could say something to him," Addison conceded.

"Good," Callie smiled. "I mean, what do you have to lose?"

xxxxx

"Hey, Derek," Addison began, later that night, as she and Derek lay in bed together.

"Yeah?" Derek asked.

"I, uh, I'm a little worried about this weekend," Addison said hesitantly.

"Me too," Derek grinned. "There's gonna be a lot of Shepherds in our house."

"That's not why I'm worried," Addison said.

"Are you worried about cooking for my family?" Derek asked. "Because I was planning on catering in," he said quickly. "I promise you this won't be a repeat of the Hotdog Thanksgiving."

"That's not it either," Addison said. "It's…look, don't take this the wrong way, but your mother doesn't like me. She never has."

"What?" Derek asked in surprise. "She doesn't dislike you. I mean, she may not have liked you very much when you gave my sister food-poisoning but, overall, I think-"

"Come on, Derek, you and I both know that your mother never liked me, and all these years of us pretending that she did never did anything to make her like me more…and it couldn't have been very good for our marriage."

Derek nodded as he took in Addison's words; she had a point. "My mother never liked you," he admitted.

"Thank you," Addison said. "At least now I know that I wasn't crazy all these years."

Derek shook his head. "You weren't crazy. She never liked you. Which is why I put off telling her about Baby Shep. Because I knew that the second she found out, she'd have an opinion and a half about it. And I was happy with the way things were. I mean, we've had to deal with enough negative reactions, as it is, and I just, I didn't feel like dealing with my mother's reaction."

"So, this weekend…" Addison trailed off.

"It's going to be awkward and uncomfortable for everyone," Derek filled in. "But she's my mother, and I couldn't tell her not to come, especially when she already bought a plane ticket out here…and convinced my sisters to come out here with their husbands and children."

"I get that," Addison nodded.

"Thank you," Derek smiled. "And I also hope that you get that nothing that my mother does or says to me this weekend is going to change the way I feel about you. It never did in the past, and it certainly won't now."

"Thanks, Derek," Addison smiled. "You know, maybe this weekend won't be so bad."

"Maybe," Derek shrugged. "But I kind of doubt it."

"Yeah," Addison chuckled. "Me too."

xxxxx

The Shepherds arrived right on time, on Saturday afternoon, and Addison and Derek braced themselves for what was sure to be a long, uncomfortable day. Derek and Addison had given Izzie and Alex the day off from work under the condition that they made an appearance while the Shepherds were over; and Mark, who had quickly fallen back into a close friendship with Addison and Derek, had promised to be there as well.

Derek's sisters were ecstatic to hear that their brother and Addison had gotten back together, and were, of course, excited about the impending arrival of their niece, repeatedly telling Addison what she had already known for a long time now – that Derek was going to make an incredible father. Derek's brother-in-laws seemed to be in good enough spirits as well; they had all always liked Addison, and they liked Derek and Addison as a couple. But the real clincher came when Addison and Derek showed them the big-screen TV in their den, and encouraged them to hang out in the den, with a couple of beers, watching whatever game was on ESPN, instead of taking a tour of the house with the rest of the family.

Perhaps most excited to be in Seattle were Derek's nieces and nephews – it was no big secret among the Shepherd family that Uncle Derek and Aunt Addison were the kids' favorite aunt and uncle. And even Carolyn seemed to be on her best behavior, limiting herself to only two snide remarks when Addison and Derek were giving the family (minus Derek's brother-in-laws) a tour of the house.

Derek couldn't help marveling at how smoothly everything was going, and smiled when he looked over at Addison, who was sitting next to Nancy and Kathleen; he chuckled to himself as he watched his sisters desperately, but unsuccessfully, try to get Addison to tell them what she and Derek were planning on naming their soon-to-be niece. Derek grinned, as Addison did her best to deflect, telling them that they were still trying to decide between two names. It was the truth – they still hadn't decided on a name for Baby Shep. They had narrowed it down to two names – Charlotte and Willa – but they kept changing their minds, every day, about which name they liked more.

"So this is going surprisingly well," Amelia smirked, coming up behind Derek and interrupting his thoughts.

"Yeah. It is," he nodded. "Hey, have you seen Mom?" he asked, as he looked around the room.

Amelia shook her head. "I haven't," she said. "I was just going to go into the kitchen to grab a soda but, when I get back, I'll help you look for her," she offered.

Derek looked down at the near-empty scotch glass in his hand. "I could use a refill too," he noted. "Let's get drinks first, and then we'll go look for Mom."

"Okay," Amelia agreed.

They didn't have to look any further than the kitchen; Carolyn Shepherd was in there, closely observing Izzie Stevens, who had just pulled a tray of cupcakes from the oven.

"She's probably waiting to criticize Izzie's baking skills," Amelia whispered to her brother with a smirk.

Derek fought back a laugh and nodded at Amelia's assessment, but as they lingered in the doorway and watched their mother, whose back was turned towards them, they learned that this wasn't the case at all.

"So you're Derek's intern," Carolyn asked Izzie with genuine interest.

"I am," Izzie nodded. "We see each other almost every day."

"You know, I pictured you differently," Carolyn said.

"Oh, I," Izzie stammered uncomfortably, wondering why in the world Derek Shepherd's mother would be picturing her at all.

"Amelia and Nancy described you as having more of a girl-next-door look," Carolyn went on. "I think they're wrong. You're beautiful."

"Oh, um, I," Izzie stuttered. "Thank you."

Derek turned to Amelia. "What the hell?" he mouthed, to which Amelia just shrugged innocently, even though she was fairly certain she knew exactly what was going on.

"I know Addison said that she didn't want a lot of pink today," Izzie said, desperately trying to change the topic, as she frosted a cupcake. "She said that this isn't supposed to be a baby shower, so we all agreed not to go overboard with too much pink…but this new strawberry butter cream frosting recipe was just too good to pass up."

"So you cook?" Carolyn smiled.

"I bake," Izzie corrected her.

"Addison's a horrible cook," Carolyn smirked.

Derek and Amelia turned to each other, each shooting the other one a questioning glance, as though trying to silently negotiate how they could gracefully put an end to what was turning into an awkward conversation and, potentially, into an Addison bashing session.

"You know, I always host Thanksgiving but, one Thanksgiving, Addison hosted, and she undercooked the turkey and gave poor Nancy salmonella," Carolyn chuckled.

"Well, Thanksgiving's hard," Izzie said sympathetically, thinking about her own, lackluster attempt to host Thanksgiving for her friends and colleagues.

"You seem like a very sweet girl," Carolyn complimented. "Very down to earth, and completely unlike Addison, and that's why I'm going to offer you this advice. Don't give up on my son. Keep fighting for him. Keep-"

"Wait, what?" Izzie asked in confusion.

Derek was about to cut in, and come to Addison's defense, but the next words that came out of Carolyn's mouth knocked the wind right out of him.

"Look," Carolyn said gently, "I can't even imagine how hard it must be for you to watch the man you love have a baby with someone else…but, trust me, that's the only reason Derek's staying with Addison. I know my son. You just need to hang in there, Meredith."

"Meredith!" Izzie exclaimed, her eyes widening in surprise. "You think I'm Meredith?"

"Well, aren't you?" Carolyn asked in surprise.

"No, she's not," Derek answered angrily, suddenly finding his voice. "Mom, this is my intern, Izzie Stevens. Izzie shows a lot of promise for my specialty, and she's become a good friend of mine and Addison's." he continued stiffly.

"Nice to meet you, Mrs. Shepherd," Izzie offered weakly, still trying to wrap her head around the conversation that she had just had with Derek's mother.

Carolyn turned to her son. "How much of that conversation did you hear?" she asked him.

"More than enough; believe me," Amelia answered, folding her arms across her chest. "Good luck digging yourself out this hole, Mom."

"Amelia," Carolyn scolded sharply.

"No, she's right, Mom," Derek insisted. "We need to talk."

Amelia looked from her mom to her brother. "Why don't you two have this conversation outside on the deck," she suggested to her brother. "There's really no need for anyone else to overhear this."

"That's probably a good idea," Derek agreed.

"Good," Amelia nodded. "And if you need anything, I'll be in here learning how to frost cupcakes with Mom's new friend, Izzie."

xxxxx

"Look, Derek," Carolyn began, when she and her son were seated on the deck, out back, "I didn't mean to upset you with what I said."

"See that's the problem, Mom," Derek snapped. "I could care less about the fact that you upset me. What concerns me is that you're apologizing for upsetting me, and not for what you said."

"Well, I don't know if I'm really sorry for what I said," Carolyn admitted. "You know how I feel about Addison."

"I do know," Derek answered tersely. "But you also need to know that Addison and I are happy…and that if you want what's best for me, you'll let yourself see how happy she makes me."

"Derek, sweetheart, of course I want what's best for you, which is why I'm warning you about getting back together with Addison. And I'll be the first to admit it, you two seem very happy together, today. But, Derek, your marriage fell apart for a reason."

"I don't think those reasons are issues anymore," Derek disagreed.

"Derek, she slept with your best friend," Carolyn said dryly. "That's never going to go away."

"We both had affairs," Derek reminded his mother. "And Addison and I agreed to shut the door on that chapter of our lives…so much so that we even agreed that we can no longer bring it up to use against each other when we argue."

"Are you trying to be funny?" Carolyn asked irritably. "Because I don't find anything funny about the situation that you're in. You came out to Seattle to get away from Addison…to get away from a type of lifestyle that clearly wasn't you. And then I find out from your sister that you and Addison are not only getting back together, but are having a baby together."

"I still don't see what the problem is," Derek countered. "I love Addison, and I love our daughter. I'm happy."

"I know you say you're happy, Derek," Carolyn sighed, "but this life that you're living isn't you. I mean, everything about your house screams Addison. Your clothes scream Addison. And, I don't know, when I used to think about what your children would be like, some day, I imagined kind, down to earth kids…not spoiled, stuck-up children with rich-sounding names like Muffy or Poppy."

"That's not fair, Mom," Derek snapped. "You have no idea how Addison and I are planning on raising our daughter. And you can sleep easy," he muttered angrily, "because we're not naming her Poppy…we're not huge fans of the initials, P.M.S."

"Well, isn't that convenient for Addison," Carolyn smirked. "You and Mark have the same last initial, so-"

"So what are you getting at?" Derek demanded, feeling the anger rising in his chest.

Carolyn shrugged. "Have you thought about asking Addison for a paternity test?" she asked innocently.

Derek felt his entire body clench up in anger at this. "You know what, I'll call you a cab, and ask them to take you back to your hotel," Derek muttered icily, refusing to give his mother the satisfaction of even entertaining the question that she had just asked him.

"I hit the nail on the head didn't I?" Carolyn asked smugly.

Derek glared at his mother coldly. "I love you, Mom. You're my mother, and I love you. But I also love Addison and our daughter. And I don't want to have to choose between you and them. But, if I have to, I will. And I'll choose them. Every time."

Carolyn was prepared to respond but, as she looked at her son, and took in the anger and hurt in his eyes, she knew that she had pushed too far. There was looking out for her son's best interests, and there was being unnecessarily hurtful and cruel. And she had been unnecessarily hurtful and cruel. "Look, Derek, I'm sorry," she apologized. "I didn't mean that. That was…out of line, and I'm sorry. I really am."

Derek met his mother's eyes. "This needs to stop, Mom," he said firmly, "because, like it or not, Addison's a part of my life. And, like it or not, we're having a child together."

"Derek."

"No, you're going to let me finish," Derek insisted. "Do you think it's easy for me and Addison to watch how readily and openly you welcomed Nancy, Kathleen, and Rachel's husbands into the family, when you never even gave Addison a chance? Do you really think that Addison and I don't know the real reason behind your visit this weekend?"

"I wanted to see you, Derek. You're going to be a father, and I wanted to see you," Carolyn cut in.

"This weekend was a last ditch attempt to try to get me to end things with Addison," Derek corrected her. "I know it, Addison knows it, the entire family knows it."

"Derek, I think you're being a little-"

But Derek cut her off with a headshake. "Look, I know you care about your family," he began, his voice softening. "You're an amazing mother. You've always treated your son-in-laws well. And you're an incredible grandmother. And it's hard for me to watch you treat Addison differently…and I'm not going to stand for it anymore. And there's no way in hell I'm going to stand around and watch you treat my daughter different from the way you treat the rest of the grandchildren, just because you don't like her mother."

"Derek, I would never-"

"History seems to suggest otherwise," Derek interrupted. "You never gave Addison a chance; what's to say you're not going to do the same thing with Willa?"

"Derek, I…Willa?" Carolyn asked, looking at her son questioningly.

Derek felt his cheeks tinge red at his slip up; "It's one of the names Addison and I are thinking about for the baby," he admitted quietly.

"Was that Addison's suggestion?" Carolyn asked, doing her best to keep the tone of her voice neutral.

"Why does it matter?" Derek challenged.

"Just curious," Carolyn shrugged. "It's not the type of name you hear every day…I just, I figured Addison suggested it."

"She did suggest it," Derek nodded. "We like the fact that it's not a very popular name, and Addison thought it might be a nice way to honor dad."

Carolyn swallowed hard, as she thought about her late-husband, William Shepherd, who had died when Derek was young. "Addison said that?" Carolyn choked out weakly.

Derek looked at his mother pointedly. "I don't know why you sound so surprised, Mom. Addison and I have spent a third of our lives together…she knows how much Dad meant to me."

"I know," Carolyn said quickly. "It's just…" she trailed off. "You chose a very pretty name," she recovered, doing her best to keep her composure. "It's growing on me by the second."

"It's one of the names we're thinking about," Derek said cautiously. "We change our minds every two minutes…but, I don't know, today I think I like Willa most."

Carolyn smiled at her son. "Willa's a beautiful name," she complimented. "But I'm sure whatever name you and Addison decide on for your daughter will be perfect for her."

"Thank you," Derek nodded.

"Anyway, we should probably go back inside," Carolyn began. "That is, if you're still letting me in your house. I owe your intern one hell of an apology. And I owe Addison an even bigger apology."

"Okay, Mom," Derek smiled, as he and his mother stood up. "Let's go inside."

xxxxx

While Carolyn headed off to the kitchen in search of Izzie, Derek made his way into the living room to check on Addison and his sisters.

"Hey," he smiled, sitting down on the couch next to Addison, and giving her a chaste kiss.

"Hey," she smiled. "I was wondering where you went off to."

Derek sighed. "I'll tell you about it later," he promised. "So, how are you holding up?"

"I'm okay," Addison nodded. "I've always liked your family."

"Really?" Derek asked, raising an eyebrow. "You mean my sisters haven't put you to sleep with their child raising tips or old stories about me?"

Addison smiled. "Derek, we were married for eleven years. I hate to break it to you, but I already know most of your stories."

Derek smiled at her adoringly, but looked away when he felt someone tugging at the bottom of his pant leg. He looked down and saw his three-year-old niece, Sophie, clinging to his leg, trying to get his attention.

"Uncle Derwek," Sophie said, looking up at her uncle, and giving him an angelic smile. "Will you pway dollies wif me? Pwease?"

Derek looked at Addison and smiled, before turning his attention back to his niece. "Sure, Soph, I'll play dollies with you," he grinned, getting up off the couch, and sitting down on the floor with his niece, who was surrounded by several different dolls.

"It's been a while since I last played dolls with your mommy and your aunts, so I might be a little rusty," he admitted. "But I need to learn how to play dollies again," Derek smiled, "so will you show me how?"

"Yes," Sophie nodded. "You take dis one," she said, handing Derek a baby doll.

"Thank you, Sophie," Derek smiled, accepting the doll from his niece.

"What's her name?" Sophie asked Derek, pointing to the doll in his hand.

"Oh, uh," Derek stammered, looking at Addison, and chuckling at how similar this conversation was starting to sound to so many of his and Addison's recent conversations.

"What do you think her name is, Soph?" Derek asked his niece.

"No. You name her," Sophie insisted.

"Oh, okay," Derek laughed.

And as Derek continued to play with Sophie, Addison couldn't help smiling, as she imagined Derek playing dolls with their daughter, one day.

"I always knew he'd be a good father," Carolyn said, sitting next to Addison, and pulling her from her thoughts. "Especially to a daughter. He had so much practice growing up with all his sisters, and all."

"Yeah," Addison agreed, reluctantly turning her attention away from Derek and Sophie, and meeting Carolyn's eyes. "He's already been amazing."

Carolyn smiled. "You know, I know I saw the baby's room when you and Derek were giving everyone a tour of the house, but I don't think we spent enough time in there. I'd love to see it again."

"Oh, uh, okay," Addison stammered, easing herself off the couch. Truth be told, Carolyn's request had caught her a little off guard. As much as she loved her daughter's nursery, and liked spending time in there, she had to admit, they'd spent a lot of time in there today. Derek's sisters had insisted on exploring the room, inch by inch, and Addison couldn't imagine what more of the nursery there was left for Carolyn to possibly see. But she wasn't about to deny Derek's mother's request – the woman hated her, and she didn't need to do anything to intensify Carolyn's spiteful feelings toward her.

"So, this is it," Addison said, opening the door to her daughter's light grey and pale purple nursery.

"This is really beautiful, Addison," Carolyn smiled. "It's very you."

"Thanks," Addison nodded, trying to discern whether Carolyn's compliment had been a backhanded one. "Derek actually chose the crib and the bedding."

"He did?" Carolyn asked in surprise. Both the crib and the bedding struck her as being very much in-line with Addison's taste. Maybe her earlier assessments of his son's life and tastes had been off the mark.

"He did," Addison confirmed.

Carolyn nodded, as she continued to take in the nursery that Addison and Derek had decorated. And she found that, as much as she wanted to hate it, she couldn't. She could see how much Addison loved it and, had she been paying attention to her son when he showed her the nursery, earlier in the day, she was certain that she would have seen how much he loved it too. And to top it all off, the room was undeniably beautiful and well decorated – straight out of a catalog well decorated.

"Did I ever tell you about the night that Derek was born?" Carolyn asked Addison.

Addison shook her head. "No."

Carolyn swallowed hard. "The kids are too young to remember this," Carolyn began, "and there was really no point in ever telling them later, because everything ended up working out…but shortly after Kathleen was born, Derek's father and I started having marriage problems. We were actually in the process of moving forward with a divorce when I found out that I was pregnant with Derek."

Addison looked at Derek's mother in surprise. Every story that she had ever heard about Carolyn and William Shepherd had painted them as this picture-perfect couple, so this was news to her.

"Anyway," Carolyn continued, "Derek's father and I decided that with two children and another one on the way, we should try to give our marriage another shot…you know, stay together for the sake of our children…which, admittedly, shouldn't be the basis of a marriage, but it was the decision we made."

"It seems like it was the right one," Addison said softly.

Carolyn nodded. "It was. Initially, we had only planned to give our marriage another chance in order to keep our family together but, as time went on, we made our relationship a priority again…we remembered how much we meant to each other and why we got married in the first place. Derek's birth was the turning point. The night he was born, we agreed that we wanted to stay married. It had been a long, painful labor…the most painful of any of my five children, by far, and, I swear, I don't think I would have gotten through it without William."

Addison nodded mutely, and secretly hoped that her daughter wouldn't take after her father in that respect.

"And even though it was so many years ago, I still remember it like it was yesterday," Carolyn went on. "Derek was only about two hours old, and it was just the three of us in the hospital room, and William…he got down on one knee, and asked me to stay married to him.

"Did you say yes?" Addison asked.

"I said yes," Carolyn confirmed. "And then William went over and picked his briefcase up off the floor and opened it, and pulled out the divorce papers that we had been in the process of filling out, so many months earlier…and he tore them to shreds right there in the hospital. I'll never forget that." Carolyn looked at Addison, tears brimming in her eyes. "You know, I've never told that story to anyone before," she admitted.

"I'm glad you told me," Addison said, giving Carolyn a warm smile. "It sounds like Derek's dad was an incredible man."

"He was," Carolyn nodded. "I think you two would have gotten along. Or, at the very least, he would have favored you over his son-in-laws to counteract the way I've treated you all these years. He wouldn't have stood for that."

"Yeah, well, everyone's entitled to their opinion, right?" Addison trailed off.

"That's true," Carolyn agreed. "But I formed an opinion about you without ever giving you a chance. And if anyone should believe in giving people chances, it should be me. My marriage was proof of that."

Addison nodded mutely, unsure how to respond.

"You know, Derek reminded me so much of his father today," Carolyn began. "He was worried that I wasn't going to treat your daughter the same way I treat the rest of my grandchildren…and I, I just want you to know…I want to promise you that that will never be the case."

"Thank you," Addison smiled, both relieved by Carolyn's promise to her, and surprised by how in synch she and Derek were. Addison hadn't vocalized her concerns to Derek but, like him, she had been worried that his mother might give their daughter the same cold, hostile treatment that she, herself, had become so accustomed to, over the years. And while Addison could handle Derek's mother not liking her, she refused to stand by and let Carolyn judge and treat her daughter unfairly – and she was glad that this wouldn't be the case.

"You know," Addison began, with a smile, "I'd really like it if you came out here again once the baby's born. I know it would mean a lot to Derek…and it would mean a lot to me too."

Carolyn gave Addison a genuine smile. "I'd like that."

xxxxx

"Hey, Addie," Derek began, as he and Addison were settling down for bed, later that evening. His family had left and, minus that one incident with his mother, it had been a pretty good family visit.

Addison met Derek's eyes. "Yes?" she asked him.

"Thank you."

Addison looked at him quizzically. "For what?" she asked, pulling down the comforter and climbing into bed.

"Just…for today," Derek said, as he climbed into bed next to Addison. "I mean, I know my family can be a little hard to handle, at times, and having everyone come up for a visit was probably the last thing you needed, right now, so I, I just want you to know that I appreciate it."

Addison looked at Derek and smiled. "You don't need to thank me," she told him. "If anything, I should be the one thanking you."

"For what?" Derek asked in surprise.

"For whatever you said to your mother," Addison answered.

"Addison," Derek started, trying to brush off her thanks, "you don't have to-"

But Addison cut him off with a headshake. "Derek, you stood up to your mother for me. That's not easy to do."

"Well, it's about time I stood up to her," Derek chuckled. "I'm only sorry it took me this long."

"Well, I appreciate it," Addison smiled, leaning in and kissing him softly. "But you know what I really appreciate?" she asked, once they broke apart.

"Hmm?"

"How you stood up for our daughter today."

"My mom told you about that?" Derek asked in surprise.

Addison nodded. "She did. And, truth be told, I was worried too…I was worried that your mother's feelings about me might negatively affect how she treats our daughter."

"She promised me that would never happen," Derek put in quickly.

"She promised me that too," Addison smiled, gently running her fingers through Derek's hair. "And your mother and I…I think we're okay now too. It's just…I like that you're already looking out for Willa."

"Addison, I'm always going to look out for Willa. I'm her father…it kind of comes with the territory." He paused for a moment, and gave her a soft smile. "Willa?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Let me guess, you're leaning more towards Charlotte," Addison chuckled.

Derek shook his head. "No. I, uh, I'm actually leaning towards Willa too," he admitted.

"Really?" Addison asked.

"Yeah," Derek smiled. "Willa Montgomery-Shepherd," he said, testing out the name. "That sounds right."

Addison shook her head. "Willa Shepherd. Just Shepherd. Montgomery-Shepherd is too much of a mouthful."

"Addison."

"Just something to think about," Addison shrugged. "I mean, it may be a non-issue. Knowing us, we'll wake up tomorrow liking a completely different name, and I'll end up wanting her last name to be Montgomery-Shepherd, and you'll just want Shepherd."

"Maybe," Derek conceded, even though he was pretty sure that this wouldn't be the case – he had a feeling that Willa was going to stick. "Anyway," he yawned, "we should probably get some sleep. I'm exhausted. I don't even know how you're still functioning."

"Yeah," Addison nodded, turning off the light on her nightstand. "Sleep sounds good."

"Night, Addie," Derek said, turning off the light on his nightstand.

"Night, Derek," Addison smiled, leaning in and kissing Derek softly. Derek responded in kind, loosely wrapping his arms around her neck, and running his hands through her hair as he kissed her deeply.

"Sleep well, Addie," he whispered when they finally broke apart.

"Yeah, you too," she murmured, moving to rest her head on his chest.

Derek smiled as he wrapped his arms around Addison, before bringing his hand to her stomach, rubbing soft circles over their daughter. "Night, Willa," he said softly, before closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.

xxxxx

Derek groaned as his alarm clock sounded, signaling that it was time for him to get up and get ready for work. He tiredly hit the snooze button, and inched his way closer to Addison's side of the bed, moving to wrap his arm around her. But she wasn't there.

"Addison," he called out nervously, suddenly feeling wide-awake. She was never awake before he was. He noticed that the door to their bathroom was closed, and he knocked on it lightly. "Hey, Addison," he began hesitantly. "I was thinking that it might not be the worst thing in the world if you didn't go in to work today. I mean, you're less than three weeks away from your due date, and it wouldn't kill you to relax a little. I know you've been cutting back…a lot. But I'm sure Richard wouldn't mind if you didn't go in today. He'd probably be happy, even. Just something to-"

But he was cut off by Addison, who had opened the bathroom door.

"Hey," Derek smiled. "Did you hear any of what I just said?"

Addison shook her head. "Sorry," she apologized. "I was kind of busy dealing with other things."

Derek looked at her in confusion, his eyes widening when he noticed that her pajama bottoms were wet. "Did your water break?" he asked, a mixture of excitement and nerves lacing his voice.

Addison nodded, and gave him a slight smile. "We should probably get to the hospital. I'm so glad this didn't happen there," she chuckled. "Callie would have never let me hear the end of it."

"You seem calm," Derek noted, trying to hide his own nerves. "You're not worried about the baby being almost three weeks early?"

Addison shook her head. "Three weeks early isn't too bad."

"Oh, okay," Derek smiled, letting out the breath he hadn't realized he was holding. "Let's go have a baby then."

"Okay," Addison agreed, taking in the mix of excitement and anxiety in Derek's eyes. "Hey, Derek?"

"Yeah?"

"I couldn't imagine doing this with anyone else."

Derek smiled and kissed her softly. "I wouldn't want this with anyone else."

Addison smiled at Derek's words. "You ready to go?" she asked.

Derek nodded. "I am. Are you?"

"Yeah."

And, with that, they made their way out of their house, and Derek couldn't help smiling at the thought that, from this day on, they wouldn't just be Addison and Derek anymore.


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: Thank you so much for all of the support and kind feedback on the last chapter and on this story so far! I really appreciate it! I hope you like the next chapter and, as always, thanks so much for reading!

* * *

"She kicks the other babies' asses, doesn't she?"

Derek reluctantly tore his attention away from his daughter, and turned to face Alex, who had joined him by the window that looked into the nursery. "She kind of does," Derek agreed with a laugh, before turning his attention back to his daughter.

"She looks like you," Alex commented, leaning up against the glass to get a better look. "She has your hair."

"Yeah," Derek smiled. "But everything else is all Addie…especially her eyes." He turned to face Alex, his own eyes lighting up with excitement. "She's honestly the most amazing baby I've ever seen. I mean, just looking at her from behind the glass, like we're doing now, doesn't do justice to how incredible she is. You've got to see her up close."

"Whoa, don't go all chick on me," Alex smirked. "I already have enough female friends around this place. How's Addison?" he asked, suddenly growing serious.

"Good," Derek nodded. "Exhausted. She's actually asleep, right now, so I figured I'd spend a little time with Willa."

"So everything's okay between you and Addison?" Alex asked teasingly. Despite Addison's hopes to the contrary, Willa had proved to be her father's daughter and took her sweet time being born. Nearly the entire Seattle Grace staff had gotten word that Addison had spent nearly twenty-four hours in labor, and Callie, Mark, and Alex had even taken bets on whether or not she and Derek would still be on speaking terms after everything was over.

"She was pretty pissed for a while," Derek admitted with a chuckle, "but all that seemed to disappear pretty quickly once she saw Willa."

"Oh, I can definitely-" Alex started, but he was cut off by the sound of his pager going off. "Sorry," he apologized, looking down at his pager and frowning. "I've gotta get back to the NICU. Tell Addison congratulations for me, and that I'll try to stop by and see her a little later." He turned to walk away, but hesitated for a moment. "Hey, Dr. Shepherd?"

"Yes, Karev?"

Alex gave Derek a genuine smile. "Congratulations. Your daughter's beautiful."

"Thanks, Karev," Derek smiled, as Alex began to walk away. Derek watched Alex's retreating form for a moment before turning his attention back to his daughter. He knew he must have had a ridiculous, dopey grin on his face, but he didn't care. He couldn't remember ever feeling this happy. He felt his smile grow even wider, as he read and reread his daughter's name on the little pink 'I'm a girl!' card, over her bassinet – _Willa Claire Shepherd_.

His feeling that they'd end up naming their daughter Willa ended up being right. He and Addison agreed that, although they liked the name Charlotte, it was starting to become too popular. And Willa was unique, and it was a nice way to honor his father. Once they decided on their daughter's first name, her middle name came pretty easily, with little arguing. But it was deciding on Willa's last name that caused problems.

He lost that battle with Addison. He was all for the last name Montgomery-Shepherd; Addison was Willa's mother, so he thought that Willa should have her last name as well as his. But Addison disagreed and said that Willa Claire Montgomery-Shepherd sounded too long and clunky, and thought that Willa Claire Shepherd sound much better. They spent days arguing about it, until he finally caved, and made Addison promise that if he agreed to go with just Shepherd, that she, in return, would have to eventually take back the last name Shepherd as well – in more than just a professional capacity. An informal marriage proposal of sorts. And as he continued to reread his daughter's name, _Willa Claire Shepherd_, on the little pink name card, over her bassinet, he was reminded of that promise between him and Addison, and he couldn't help thinking that maybe he hadn't lost that battle after all.

"Excuse me, Dr. Shepherd," a nurse said, gently tapping Derek on the shoulder, and ripping Derek from his thoughts.

"Yes?" Derek asked, reluctantly turning his attention away from Willa to look at the nurse.

"Addison's awake," the nurse explained. "And she's asking for you."

"Oh," Derek said, a smile coming to his face. "Can I…would it be okay if I brought Willa in there too?"

"I think that's more than okay," the nurse smiled, before going off to get Willa from the nursery.

Minutes later, Derek was making his way towards Addison's room, cradling Willa in his arms; but he was stopped by a nurse that he remembered well – one of the nurses who had gossiped so shamelessly about him and Addison months earlier.

"Uh, Dr. Shepherd," the nurse stammered, interrupting Derek's moment with Willa.

"Yes?" Derek asked, not taking his eyes off his daughter.

"I, uh, the other nurses and I…we felt really bad about everything that happened a few months ago and, uh, we wanted to get something for Baby Shep," she explained, holding out a small blue bag. "We didn't know if Baby Shep was a boy or a girl, so we got a unisex gift, but I, uh, I actually think it works better for a girl."

"Thank you," Derek smiled, accepting the bag. "And her name is Willa. Not Baby Shep anymore."

"That's a pretty name," the nurse complimented, moving in closer to get a better look at the baby in Derek's arms. "She's beautiful, Dr. Shepherd. Really."

Several months ago, Derek envisioned this scene playing out very differently. He had imagined himself proudly showing off his daughter to all those rude nurses, and smugly gloating about how much his daughter looked like him, in order to put an end to any lingering gossip or doubts that they still might have, once and for all. But none of that seemed important anymore. And so when the nurse told him that his daughter was beautiful, instead of pointing out the obvious family resemblance or making some other snide comment, he just smiled down at his daughter and said, "Thank you."

The nurse smiled in relief, almost as if she had been expecting some type of angry (but justified) retort from the neurosurgeon. "Anyway, I should probably get back to work," she said. "I just wanted to congratulate you."

"Thank you," Derek nodded. "And thank you for the gift. I'm sure Addison will appreciate it too."

The nurse turned walked away, and Derek turned his attention back to his daughter; "Are you ready to go see your mom?" he asked her softly, as they made their way towards Addison's room.

Addison was sitting up in bed when Derek and Willa arrived at her room, a few minutes later. "Hey," Derek smiled. "How are you feeling?"

Addison chuckled. "Sore, tired…but I've never felt better," she smiled, moving over in the bed so that Derek could sit down next to her.

"You were amazing," Derek complimented, kissing Addison's temple.

Addison looked at him skeptically.

"I'm serious," Derek insisted. "You were twenty-four hours of amazing."

"Thanks," Addison smiled.

"So, Willa's already a big hit out there," Derek grinned, as he gently placed their daughter into Addison's arms. "I mean, I'm not surprised. I'm pretty sure she's the most amazing baby ever."

"She really is," Addison agreed, not taking her eyes off the baby in her arms, who could only be described as a perfect mix of her and Derek.

"And she's so smart already," Derek gushed. "I mean, she already recognizes my voice. I knew from reading all those books on babies and pregnancy that she'd be able to recognize your voice. I just, I can't believe she recognizes my voice too."

Addison turned her attention away from Willa, met Derek's eyes, and smiled. "She's a daddy's girl already."

"She is," Derek agreed proudly. "Oh, and the nurses got her a present," Derek said, gesturing to the blue bag in his hand.

Addison raised an eyebrow. "The nurses got Willa something from Tiffany's?" she asked in surprise. "They really didn't need to do that."

Derek shrugged. "Should I open it?"

"Definitely," Addison nodded as Derek removed a blue Tiffany's box from the bag. She looked down at her daughter and smiled; "Look, Willa, your first little blue box."

"If she's anything like you, this certainly won't be her last little blue box," Derek chuckled, as he thought about all of the jewelry he had gotten Addison from Tiffany's over the years.

"Hey, is that how you that how you talk to the woman, who just spent twenty-four hours delivering your child?" Addison asked, pretending to be hurt.

Derek smiled, and kissed her softly on the lips. "Better?" he asked.

"It's a start," Addison smirked, as Derek began opening Willa's gift.

"Oh, wow," Addison gasped, when Derek unwrapped a sterling silver baby rattle. "The nurses really went overboard. I didn't even think they liked us very much."

Derek shrugged. "I guess things can change."

"Yeah, I guess so," Addison agreed, as she thought about just how true Derek's statement was. Derek had certainly changed over the last nine months, and she was pretty sure that she had changed too. She liked to think that they had changed back into the people that they were when they first got married, but she knew that really wasn't the case. They were different. Not necessarily better, but different – stronger. And, admittedly, maybe a little better. They were parents. That alone had inevitably changed them.

"So, it's just about lunchtime," Derek said, ripping Addison from her thoughts. "And I'm guessing that you'd probably rather not have hospital food. So I was thinking I could run out and pick something up, and we could eat lunch together in here. Sound good?"

"Sounds perfect," Addison smiled.

"Great," Derek nodded. "How do sandwiches sound?"

"Sandwiches work."

"Okay," Derek smiled. "I'll be back in a little while," he said, as he carefully got up off the bed, before leaning back in to place a kiss on Addison's temple. "Bye Addie. See you soon, Willa," he cooed, leaning in and placing a gentle kiss on his daughter's forehead.

Addison watched Derek walk out the door, before turning her attention back to her daughter. "That was your dad," she said softly. "Although I guess you already know that, don't you? He loves you very much. We both love you very much," she smiled, gently stroking her daughter's cheek. "I'm gonna be honest with you, Willa; you're dad and I…we've made a lot of mistakes. And I'm sure we'll make a lot of mistakes as parents too. But we don't quit. We're not gonna quit on each other, and I promise you, we'll never quit on you," she said, kissing Willa's forehead gently. "I promise you that."

xxxxx

"Were you seriously in labor for twenty-four hours?" Alex asked Addison disbelievingly, as Derek handed him Willa to hold. "I mean, she's pretty tiny. I can't imagine it taking _that_ long. And I should know…I'm specializing in your field."

"You should know?" Addison laughed. "Hey, what do you say we revisit this conversation once you've given birth to a child?"

"Yeah," Izzie agreed. "No uterus, no opinion."

"I'm just saying," Alex defended, "Willa here can't weigh more than, what, six pounds, five ounces. Addison and I have delivered much bigger babies in way less time."

"First of all, she weighs six pounds, seven ounces," Addison corrected. "And, secondly, I don't know if I should be proud of you for estimating her weight so accurately, or angry about the deterioration of your bedside manner. We haven't worked together for what, a few days now, and your bedside manner is already suffering because of it. I better not come back from maternity leave and find out that you've switched back over to plastics."

"Hey, plastics is a very respectable field," Mark cut in. "And I don't know why everyone's sitting here fussing over Addison, and talking about what a warrior she is," he added with a teasing smirk. "Has anyone bothered to check out Derek's left hand?"

Everyone's eyes went to Derek's hand, which was still a little discolored, and had some obvious nail marks from Addison squeezing it so tightly.

"You know, it pains me to agree with Stevens," Callie chuckled, "but, seriously, no uterus, no opinion."

Alex laughed as Mark continued to fuss over Derek's hand, while Izzie and Callie shot him death glares. He looked over at Addison, and gave her his signature crooked grin; "I'm not going back to plastics," he assured his boss. "And you're my friend, not my patient. So you don't need to worry about me teasing laboring mothers while you're gone. This charm…that's just for you." He looked down at the baby in his arms and smiled. "Isn't that right, Willa?" he cooed.

"Hey, you're good with her," Derek complimented.

"He is," Izzie agreed. "But he's also hogging her."

"Oh, do you want to hold her, Iz?" Alex asked.

"I do," Izzie nodded, "but I also got her a little something," she said, handing Addison a pale pink gift bag.

"Izzie, you really didn't need to get her anything," Addison insisted.

"It's just a little something," Izzie shrugged, as Addison unwrapped four custom-made baby headbands.

"Izzie, these are adorable," Addison smiled. "You really didn't need to do this."

"Derek said that you were really into baby hats, so I was going to get her a bunch of those," Izzie explained. "But I couldn't bring myself to buy them, because I knew that your daughter was going to have incredible hair, and I figured that these headbands would help show it off better."

"Thanks, Stevens," Derek smiled.

"You're welcome," Izzie grinned. "But, seriously, if you really want to show your appreciation, you'll take Willa from Alex and let me finally hold her."

"Okay, okay, fine," Alex chuckled, letting out a dramatic fake sigh, before gently handing Willa over to Izzie, and giving her a playful smirk. "Here's to hoping she spits up all over you."

xxxxx

"Mark, why are you looking at me like that?" Derek asked his friend suspiciously. Visiting hours at the hospital were over, and Mark had offered to take Derek to Joe's for a celebratory drink.

"Like what?" Mark asked innocently, taking a sip of his scotch.

"I don't know, it looks like you're having this internal battle with yourself over whether or not you should say something to me," Derek explained.

"Are you going to propose to Addison?" Mark asked.

"What? Where did that come from?"

Mark shrugged. "I don't know. It's just, I was watching you and Addison with Willa today, and I kept thinking to myself, 'Those two should really get married already.' I mean, I was actually kind of surprised that you and Addie didn't get married before Willa was born. Are you planning on getting remarried, or are you guys not doing that again?"

"No, I want to get married," Derek said. "It's just…it's complicated."

"Complicated, how?" Mark asked, raising an eyebrow. "It seems pretty straight forward to me."

"I know," Derek conceded, "but there are just so many little things."

"Like what?" Mark asked in confusion.

"Like when I propose to her again, am I supposed to go out and buy another engagement ring? Or are we supposed to keep the original rings? Which, by the way, I don't even have. Addison has them. So do I propose with no ring? Do I somehow try to get the old rings back and propose with them? I don't even know where she keeps her old engagement ring and wedding band."

"Oh," Mark muttered, running a hand through his hair. "That is a tough one."

"I know," Derek agreed. "Any words of wisdom?"

"Good luck," Mark smirked.

"Good luck?" Derek demanded. "That's all you're gonna give me? Good luck?"

Mark chuckled. "Look, Derek, there's not really that much I can say. You're in love with Addison. She's in love with you. If you propose to her, she's gonna say yes…no matter how you do it. Trust me."

"You know, this sounds eerily like that conversation we had back in med school when you were trying to convince me to get up the nerve to ask Addison out on a date," Derek mused.

"And you took my advice, and you asked her out, and she said yes. And that, generally, worked out pretty well for you. So why not take my advice again and ask her to marry you?"

"I will," Derek nodded. "I just…I will."

"Good," Mark smiled. "Can I get you another drink?" he asked, looking down at Derek's empty scotch glass.

"No, thanks, I'm good," Derek answered. "I should probably get going."

"Okay," Mark nodded, as Derek began making his way out of the bar. "Hey, Derek," he called out, before Derek could get very far.

Derek turned to face his friend. "Yes?"

A wide smile spread across Mark's face. "Congratulations," he said sincerely. "You and Addison are going to be great parents."

xxxxx

After leaving the bar, Derek decided to stop by the hospital one more time before heading home for the night. He stopped by Addison's room, hoping to find her awake, but she was sound asleep. Not wanting to disturb her, he quietly walked into her room and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead before leaving and heading over to the nursery. He peered into the nursery window, and even though it was dark in the nursery, he could still recognize his daughter.

"Hey, Willa," he said softly, even though he knew his daughter wouldn't be able to hear him. He quickly looked around him to make sure that nobody was watching him; he didn't need people thinking he was talking to himself.

"I'm so glad you're finally here," he smiled, as he continued to watch his daughter sleep. "You're even more perfect than I thought you'd be." He looked around once more to make sure that there was no one else in sight before turning his attention back to his daughter.

"Hey, Willa, can you keep a secret?" he whispered, a slight smile coming to his face. "I'm going to ask your mom to marry me."


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: Thank you so much for all of the kind feedback on this story so far. I love hearing what you think! I hope you like this next chapter. Thanks for reading! :)

* * *

More than three months had passed, and Derek still hadn't asked Addison to marry him. He and Addison were still settling into their new lives as parents and, while they were making a point to make time for each other, Willa was their main concern.

Richard had given Addison a three-and-a-half-month maternity leave, and Derek had decided that he was going to propose to her the day before she went back to work. But the best laid plans never pan out. Addison was called into work a week early to perform an emergency surgery that only she could do.

"So, you'll call me if you need anything?" Addison asked Derek, as she got dressed for the day.

Derek nodded from his place on their bed, where he was cradling Willa against his chest. "We'll be fine," he assured Addison. "Have a good surgery and a good first day back."

"Thank you," Addison smiled. "I'm really glad that you're off today," she commented. "I mean, I'm sure the hospital daycare is fine. I just, I wanted to check it out first before we brought Willa there. It's just, I wasn't expecting to go back to work for another week."

"Well, that's what you get for being the only surgeon on the west coast who can do a TTTS surgery," Derek grinned.

Addison returned Derek's smile. "Anyway," she continued, as she slipped a diamond stud earring into her ear, "I'll be home as soon as I get out of surgery. I mean, I may take a little bit of time, afterwards, to skim through some patient files and to make sure that everything is still running smoothly in my department. But I'll be home right after that."

"Take as long as you need," Derek reassured her. "Willa and I are going to be fine."

"Okay," Addison nodded, moving towards the bed where Derek was sitting with Willa. "I'll see you in a little bit, Willa," Addison smiled, taking Willa from Derek, and cuddling her close. "I'll miss you, but be good for Daddy, okay?" She gave Willa a gentle kiss on the forehead, and then leaned in and kissed Derek softly on the lips. "Bye, Derek."

"Bye, Addie," Derek smiled, as Addison handed their daughter back to him. "Are you going to wish your mommy good luck in surgery?" he cooed at Willa. "Can you tell Mommy that it's a beautiful day to save lives?"

Addison couldn't help smiling at this. "Thanks, Derek," she said, leaning in, and giving him another kiss. "I'll see you two later," she smiled, waving goodbye to Derek and Willa, before making her way down the stairs and out of the house.

xxxxx

"Dr. Shepherd, is everything okay?" Izzie asked in concern, when she saw Derek enter Seattle Grace, carrying Willa. "Addison said that you were off today. Is Willa okay?"

"Everything's fine," Derek nodded. "Willa's perfect. I just thought that Willa might want to watch her mom's first surgery back…and I kind of want to watch too. Is Addison in an O.R. with a gallery?"

"She is," Izzie confirmed. "She and Alex are in O.R. 2. They should be starting any minute now."

"Great," Derek smiled. "We're gonna head up to the gallery then. See you later, Stevens."

"Oh, okay, uh, bye, Dr. Shepherd. Bye, Willa," Izzie smiled, tickling the baby under her chin. "I'll see you guys later."

Addison had just entered the O.R. when Derek and Willa walked into the gallery overlooking it. "Looks like we got here just in time," Derek told his daughter. "And we have the whole gallery to ourselves."

Derek watched adoringly as Addison began the procedure, holding Willa up against the glass so that they could both see the surgery better.

"Okay, so your mommy is cutting into her patient with a ten-blade," Derek explained to Willa, as he continued to watch Addison. "Now she's going to go in lathroscopically, and Alex is going to help direct her. This is a twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome surgery," Derek told his daughter softly. "That means one twin gets too much blood, the other gets too little. There's only ten surgeons in the world who can do this surgery…four in the United States…and your mom is the only surgeon on the west coast, who can do it." And as Addison, continued to operate, Derek continued to explain the surgery to Willa, as best he could (it had been a long time since his OB rotation).

Down in the OR, Addison and Alex were feeling pretty good, having just completed a successful surgery. "Nice work in there, Dr. Shepherd," Alex complimented. "It looks like you've still got it."

"Of course I've still got it," Addison smirked. "You did very well in there, Karev," she smiled. "I think you made the right choice going into neonatal."

"Thanks," Alex nodded. "And I had to bring my A-game today. We had an audience, and I didn't want to let them down."

"We didn't have an audience," Addison insisted. "Richard would have told me if I were being observed. What are you talking about?" she asked, as she looked up towards the gallery and gasped in surprise when she saw Derek and Willa up there.

"Were they here the whole time?" Addison asked.

"They were," Alex confirmed.

Addison felt tears of happiness sting her eyes, and she did her best to blink them back; the last thing she needed was to start openly crying in the O.R. in front of Alex and the scrub nurses. But Derek always had a way of making it to her important surgeries. Even during their residency, when Derek had tonsillitis, he still managed to sneak his way up into the gallery (in his hospital robe and all) to watch her first solo surgery. And the fact he had thought to come to her surgery, today, with Willa confirmed what Addison had already known – that she and Derek were far from the unhappy couple they were in New York, who continuously put work before each other.

xxxxx

"You were great in there," Derek complimented, when Addison joined him and Willa, after scrubbing out.

"Thank you," Addison smiled. "I can't believe you brought Willa," she said, taking their daughter from Derek, and holding her close.

"Well, I wanted to make sure that the first surgery that Willa saw was a good one…and I wanted her to see one of yours. This seemed like the obvious solution."

"How was she?" Addison asked. She had been so focused on the surgery at hand that she hadn't even realized that Derek and Willa had been watching her. Willa could have cried her eyes out the entire time or slept through the whole surgery for all Addison knew.

"She was perfect," Derek grinned. "She didn't cry once. I think she really liked watching you operate."

"Derek-"

"No, I'm serious. She's going to be a doctor," Derek insisted, as he gently rubbed Willa's tiny back.

"She's on pace for it," Addison agreed with a laugh. "I mean, three months old and already observing surgeries. I can't even imagine-"

But she was cut off by her patient's husband, who had walked over to where she and Derek were standing. "Dr. Shepherd," he began, "I just, I can't thank you enough for saving my babies today. You don't know how much it means to me and Karen."

Addison smiled at the immense sense of relief on the man's face. "You're welcome, Mr. Siegel," she told him with a smile.

"Please, it's David. Call me David," Mr. Siegel insisted. "And Karen, she really appreciates it too. And she said that you completely put her at ease before the surgery. She was really nervous. We both were. So I just, I can't thank you enough. You were really, really…Is this your daughter?" he asked, cutting himself off mid-sentence, gesturing towards Willa, who was still in Addison's arms.

Addison nodded. "This is Willa," she smiled. "She's thirteen-weeks-old."

"So you're a parent," David nodded. "That explains it. You completely got how Karen and I felt and what we were going through."

Addison chuckled. "I like to think that I'm able to empathize with all of my patients, regardless of whether or not I can personally relate to their experiences, but, yeah, I understood how worried you and Karen were…rightfully so."

"But everything's fine now, right?" David asked cautiously.

"Everything's fine," Addison reassured him. "We're going to keep Karen overnight for observation, but the surgery was a success, and both babies should be okay."

"Thank you so much," David breathed. He looked over at Willa and smiled. "Your daughter looks like you," he told Addison. "Well, like a mixture of you and your husband," he corrected himself gesturing towards Derek.

Addison smiled politely, not bothering to correct her patient's husband. But David's comment made Derek feel uncomfortable. He wasn't Addison's husband. As much as he wanted to be Addison's husband, he wasn't. And he had only himself to blame for that. He had let small things (like when he should propose, and what he should do about the rings) get in the way. He realized that, at the end of the day, he wanted to be with Addison…he wanted to marry Addison. And worrying about the small things wasn't getting him any closer to that. So he smiled politely, as Addison and David continued to talk, and he silently thanked Addison's patient's husband for being the kick in the pants that he needed to put all those small, meaningless things aside and just propose to Addison already.

xxxxx

"Are you okay, Derek?" Mark asked his friend. "You seem all nervous and fidgety."

Derek looked up from his salad and met Mark's eyes. "I'm fine," he said.

Mark shook his head. "You're not fine," he insisted, taking a bite of his sandwich. "You're hiding something."

"What makes you think I'm hiding something?" Derek smirked.

"You're an easy read," Mark chuckled. "Not to mention, I've known you forever. Now, the question is what are you hiding?"

"I'm not hiding anything," Derek insisted, doing his best to hide a smile.

Mark studied his friend closely. "Are you proposing to Addison tonight?" he asked.

"I," Derek stuttered, unsure how in the world Mark could have possibly guessed.

"You are, aren't you?" Mark grinned.

"I-"

"Well, it's about time," Mark said patting Derek on the back.

"Mark, don't say anything to anyone," Derek pleaded, looking around to make sure that no one else was overhearing their conversation. "You know how gossip spreads around this place."

"I won't say anything," Mark promised. "I didn't say anything the first time, did I?"

"No, you were good," Derek admitted.

"Thank you," Mark said smugly. "So what'd you do about the ring situation?" he asked, growing serious.

"I bought a new one," Derek answered.

"Wow," Mark said, raising his eyebrows. "So what's it like, bigger than the old one, smaller than the old one, essentially the same ring as the old one?"

"It's not a diamond ring," Derek said.

"Oh, uh, correct me if I'm wrong, but-"

"No, I know that you're _supposed_ to propose with a diamond," Derek interrupted. "But I already did that. And I think it should be Addison's choice whether or not she wants to get new rings, so I got her an emerald ring."

"That's the green one, right?" Mark asked, scratching his head.

"Yeah," Derek nodded.

"Kind of random, isn't it?"

Derek shook his head. "It's Willa's birthstone. I guess it's more like a temporary engagement ring. You know, this way, if she wants to keep the old rings, she can. And if she wants new rings, we can do that. Or, who knows, maybe she'll just want the emerald."

"Wow, sounds like you're covered," Mark chuckled. "But you do realize that you could propose with a teething ring…or with no ring at all, and Addison would still say yes to you."

"I would never do that," Derek said, suddenly growing serious. "That type of proposal seems too impromptu. And that's not me and Addison. We were married for eleven years, we have a child together…a spur of the moment proposal won't cut it…not for us, at least. Besides, I spent a lot of time thinking about how I wanted to propose to her."

"Oh," Mark nodded. "So you already know how you're going to pop the question?"

A wide smile came to Derek's face. "I have the perfect plan."

xxxxx

"Hey, you're home early," Addison smiled, as Derek walked into the living room, where she was sitting with Willa, reading a medical journal.

Derek looked at his watch and shrugged. "Yeah, I guess I am home a little early," he agreed. "But I finished my last surgery around four, and since there was nothing left for me to do at the hospital, I figured why not leave a little early."

"I'm glad you did," Addison smiled. "How'd the surgery go?"

"It went well," Derek nodded. "The patient isn't out of the woods yet, but I'm optimistic. How was your day?"

"It was good," Addison answered. "Willa and I had a girls' day."

"A girls' day," Derek chuckled. "Meaning…"

"Well, we were both very excited, this morning, when I tried on my pre-pregnancy jeans, and they zipped, so we decided to take a celebratory trip to the mall. And then Willa insisted on getting you something for your birthday tomorrow, even though I already got you something-"

"Addison, you didn't need to get me anything," Derek cut in. "Seriously, I already have everything I want."

"Well, we got you gifts anyway," Addison smiled. "And Willa's gift isn't returnable, so you're getting gifts whether you like it or not."

"You really didn't have to do that," Derek insisted, taking Willa from Addison, and cradling her against his chest. "Hey, Willa," he cooed, kissing his daughter's cheek gently. "Did you have a fun day with Mommy?" He turned his attention to Addison. "We're still keeping my birthday low-key tomorrow, right?"

"It's your birthday," Addison smiled. "Whatever you want, we'll do."

"Good," Derek grinned. "I just want a relaxed birthday with you and our daughter."

"That can definitely be arranged," Addison nodded, leaning in and kissing Derek softly.

"So," Derek began, when they broke apart, "what's on the agenda for tonight?"

Addison checked her watch. "I've got to give Willa a bath, and then I thought the three of us could just relax for a while before I put her down. And then you and I can have dinner. And, from there, we'll see where the night takes us," she said, raising an eyebrow suggestively. "Does that sound okay to you?"

"It does," Derek nodded. "I can give Willa her bath," he offered.

"Derek, you don't have to," Addison insisted. "You've been working all day."

"Exactly," Derek smiled. "I've hardly spent any time with our daughter today."

"Well, if you want to give her a bath, I'm certainly not gonna stand in your way," Addison chuckled.

Derek looked down at his daughter in his arms and smiled. "Ready for your bath, Willa?" he asked her softly, before carrying her upstairs.

Derek gave Willa her bath and, as he carried her into her nursery, he knew it was finally time to put his plan into action. He carefully put Willa on her changing table, and grabbed his briefcase, which he had put in Willa's room, and removed the custom-made lavender baby hat that he had ordered for her. He looked down at the orange pajamas that Addison had laid out for her and frowned. "This doesn't match," he muttered to himself. "Let's find you a different pair of pajamas," he cooed to his daughter. "These orange pajamas clash with your purple hat…and your mom won't like that. And I really need you to wear this hat tonight. It's kind of important…and I don't want your mom to get distracted by your mismatching outfit."

Derek opened Willa's pajama drawer and pulled out a tiny pair of white pajamas. "There, that's perfect," he smiled, as he put his daughter's pajamas on her. He reached for the tiny purple hat and gently put it on Willa's head, and couldn't help smiling at how adorable she looked. He patted the right pocket of his jeans, where he was keeping Addison's ring, before picking his daughter up, a wide grin on his face. "You know," he told Willa with a laugh, "you're going to make it pretty hard for your mom to say no."

xxxxx

"Hey, she's all clean," Derek smiled, as he joined Addison, who was setting the table for dinner, in the kitchen. "She's getting better at bath time too," Derek laughed, being very careful to keep Willa turned away from Addison.

"You look pretty dry," Addison chuckled, remembering the first time that Derek had given their daughter a bath by himself; Willa began crying hysterically the second that Derek put her in the water and, unable to get her to stop crying and flailing around in the water, he finally resolved to getting in the bathtub with her, fully clothed.

"Hey, where'd she get that hat?" Addison asked. "I don't remember buying that one."

"That's because you didn't," Derek smiled. "I did."

"It's cute," Addison complimented. "I like the color."

"You've got to see it from the front," Derek insisted, handing Willa to Addison so that she could get a better look at their daughter's hat.

"Let's see this new hat of yours, Willa," Addison cooed, holding her daughter up, so that she could see the front of Willa's hat. Her breath caught in her throat, as she gasped in surprise at what she saw. Embroidered in dark purple lettering, on the front of Willa's hat, were the words: _Marry Daddy?_

"Derek," Addison breathed, tears pricking her eyes.

Derek smiled widely, before dropping to one knee, and reaching into his pocket to remove a white gold ring with an oval-cut emerald, surrounded by smaller diamonds. "Marry me, Addison?" he asked softly.

"Yes," she smiled, crashing her lips against his and kissing him passionately. "I love you, Derek," she whispered breathlessly when they finally broke apart.

"I love you," he smiled, pulling her back in and kissing her tenderly.

"Thanks for helping me propose, Willa," Derek grinned gently rubbing his daughter's tiny back. He turned his attention back to Addison. "I didn't know what to do about the ring," he admitted. "And I wanted to let you decide what type of ring you wanted, so I got you-"

"An emerald," Addison filled in with a smile. "Willa's birthstone."

"Yeah."

"Thanks, Derek."

"For what?" Derek asked in confusion.

Addison met his eyes and smiled. "For all the thought you put into your proposal. I mean, I would have said yes, no matter how you proposed, but you put a lot of thought into this, and I appreciate it. I love you for that."

Derek couldn't help smiling. "Hey, Addison," he began.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

Addison looked at him in confusion. "For what?"

"For saying yes," Derek grinned. "I love you for that."


	18. Chapter 18

A/N: Thank you so much for all of your feedback on the last chapter and on this story. I really appreciate it, and I love hearing what you think! This chapter is going to be the second to last one. I really don't want to give this story up, but I feel like the story is winding down, and I'm not a big fan of just adding in drama for the sake of adding drama or adding fluff for fluff's sake (okay, I may be a little guilty of the last one). Anyway, I hope you like this chapter and, as always, thank you for reading!

* * *

Derek Shepherd had spent his birthday in a lot of pretty great places. When he turned twenty-one, he and Mark drove out to Atlantic City for a weekend of drinking, gambling, and debauchery. For his thirtieth birthday, he and Addison celebrated in Paris. But even though Derek had celebrated his birthday in some awesome places, none of these birthdays even compared to this one – a birthday at home with Addison and their daughter.

He wasn't joking when he told Addison that he didn't need anything for his birthday – that he already had everything he wanted. But she and Willa had managed to buy him the perfects gifts. Addison got him an ICW watch with an emerald green face; they were clearly thinking along the same line with the emerald. But it was Willa's gift that stole the show – a large, rectangular, glazed ceramic plaque with impressions of Willa's tiny handprints and footprints. Above her hand and footprints, in flowing, purple cursive, read _Willa Claire Shepherd ~ 14 weeks_. Derek couldn't help but think it was the single most adorable present he had ever received, and he already had a spot picked out in his office to display it.

The day was winding down. Addison was upstairs, putting Willa to bed, and Derek was outside, grilling steaks on the barbeque. Addison had insisted that he shouldn't have to cook on his birthday; but Derek quickly reminded her that while she had many talents, grilling (and cooking, in general) wasn't exactly one of them. So she agreed to let him cook dinner, under the condition that he'd let her make it up to him later – a condition to which he happily agreed.

He walked into the kitchen, a plateful of steak in his hand; but he nearly dropped the plate when he took in the sight in front of him – Addison was pouring him a glass of scotch and wearing lacy, black lingerie.

"You're stunning," he complimented.

She stopped pouring his scotch, and met his eyes. "You're overdressed," she remarked, noting the stark contrast between his shorts and polo shirt and her barely-there negligee.

"Fixing that," he murmured, as he set the plate of steak down on the kitchen table, before quickly removing his shirt and making his way towards her.

"Better," she approved with an appreciative nod, unable to get anything else out before he lifted her onto the countertop and crashed his lips against hers. They kissed passionately, and she loosely draped her arms around his neck and ran her hands through his wavy hair, wrapping her legs around his waist to bring him in closer. He let his hands roam over the lacy material of her negligee, while she trailed light kisses along his neck, deeply inhaling the mixture of his Ives St. Laurent cologne and the charcoaly smell from the grill.

"Der," she whispered breathlessly in his ear. "Your pants…take them off." He quickly obliged, as she continued to kiss his neck, lightly scraping her nails across his muscular back. He lifted her off the countertop, and hurriedly slipped her negligee over her head, allowing his eyes to linger over her body appreciatively before continuing to kiss her heatedly.

"Floor sex?" he murmured, in between kisses.

"Yeah," she breathed, as he trailed feather-light kisses over her collarbone, before carefully lowering them onto the kitchen floor so that she was now on her back, and he was on top of her. He kissed her deeply, and she gasped as he entered her. "Hey, Der," she whispered huskily.

"Yeah?" he breathed, his lust-filled eyes meeting hers.

"Happy birthday, Honey."

xxxxx

"So, you never did tell me what you wanted to do about our rings," Derek said, as he and Addison lay in bed together, later that night. "We could keep the old ones, get new ones, or we could use the emerald ring, if you want. Whatever you want, we'll do, so the ball's in your court."

Addison thought about it for a moment, weighing the options carefully. "Let's keep the old ones," she decided.

"You sure?" Derek asked. "You don't want new rings to symbolize a fresh start?"

Addison smiled. "Willa's our fresh start. And the emerald ring symbolizes that. But, I don't know, our marriage is between you and me, and I don't want to just forget about all that history we have together. We were married for eleven years. That's eleven Thanksgivings, eleven birthdays, eleven Christmases. And, sure, we've had our share of rough times…but, in a weird way, I kind of like how the old rings are a reminder of that. We're not a perfect couple, and we need to put in the work to make our relationship work, and not just take each other for granted, like we used to."

"And the old rings are a reminder of that," Derek nodded, following Addison's train of thought. "I kind of like that too," he agreed, pulling her in for a kiss. "So, what type of wedding do you want to have?" he asked when they broke apart. "You're a lot better at this type of stuff than I am."

Addison smiled. "Well, we already did the big church wedding so, I don't know, something simple. Maybe just you, me, and Willa."

"And Mark," they said together.

"And I want to invite Callie," Addison said.

"And we should invite Alex and Izzie," Derek added.

"And we can't not invite Richard and Adele," Addison put in. "Richard was our mentor. And he and Adele have always been like parents to us."

Derek nodded in agreement. "And you know that we can't invite Richard and Adele without inviting my mother and your parents," Derek pointed out. "And that means that we've got to invite my sisters and their families. And, of course, Archer and his flavor of the week."

"So much for a simple wedding," Addison chuckled.

"Yeah," Derek agreed. "I'm not sure if simple is in the cards for us."

xxxxx

Derek was right; a simple wedding wasn't in the cards for them. But, still, they tried their best to keep things as simple as possible. They decided that they had too many friends and family members to get married at City Hall. And City Hall wasn't really their style anyway. So they agreed to get married in the hospital chapel. But that was as traditional as they planned on getting. There would be no walking down the aisle, no bridesmaids in matching, pastel-colored dresses. Mark would still be Derek's best man, but his best man duties would be very different this time around. Last time, his responsibilities included planning Derek's bachelor party and holding Derek's vows and ring. This time, he was in charge of holding Willa while Derek and Addison exchanged their vows.

Their first wedding was a black-tie affair; the plan was to make this one less formal. Sure, Derek would be wearing an Armani tux, and Addison had bought an Oscar de la Renta dress, but both would be dressed considerably less formally than they had at their first wedding. Derek was trading in his bowtie for a standard tie, and Addison wasn't wearing a long, elaborate wedding gown, like she had when she and Derek first got married; instead, she decided to go with a short, understated ivory dress (because, seriously, who was she trying to fool by wearing white?).

It had taken them two month to hash out the details of the wedding – a significant change from the year that it had taken them to plan their first wedding. But they had done it – from finding a minister to marry them, to reserving a banquet hall in the Archfield for the reception, to flying out their families – everything was ready to go. Now, all they had to do was get married.

It was the day before the wedding, and Addison and Derek were on their way home from work. They hadn't planned on working the day before their wedding, but both had early morning surgeries that couldn't wait, so they agreed to work half a day. They had just pulled into the driveway of their house when they noticed that there were three people waiting at their front door.

"Oh, wow," Derek breathed. "Is that-"

"My family," Addison filled in, massaging her temples with her fingers.

Derek nodded. "But weren't they supposed to-"

"Come later in the day," Addison supplied. "Yeah, they were."

Derek turned off the car and chuckled, as he took Willa out of her car seat. "Are you ready to meet your crazy grandparents and uncle?" he cooed to his daughter. "They're something, alright," he muttered to himself, as he and Addison began making their way towards their house.

"Well, it's about time you got here," Archer called out.

"I thought you weren't getting in until later," Addison explained.

"That was the plan," Bizzy nodded. "But when you own private planes, you can adjust your plans as you see fit."

"How nice of you to let us know," Addison muttered sarcastically.

"Most people don't go to work the day before their wedding," Bizzy pointed out coolly.

"So, this is our baby," Derek cut in, doing his best to put an end to the tension that was building between Addison and her family. He turned to his daughter and smiled. "Willa, this is your Uncle Archer and…" he paused for a moment, trying to decide how he should introduce Addison's parents to his daughter. "This is Bizzy and The Captain," he said finally. He figured that was probably the safest introduction. Addison and Archer didn't call their parents mom and dad, so he figured that Bizzy and The Captain probably wouldn't be okay with grandma and grandpa.

"Shit, Addie, she's freakin' adorable," Archer complimented, leaning in to get a better view of his five-month-old niece. "And I'm not even lying to you. Usually I just tell people that their babies are cute, even if they aren't, but Willa really is cute."

"Thank you," Addison smiled, chuckling at her brother's bluntness, as she let her family into the house.

"I know it's only one o'clock," Derek started, "but if anyone wants a drink-"

"Martini dry," Bizzy said immediately.

"And I'll take a gin and tonic," The Captain said.

"Archer?" Derek asked.

"Scotch," Archer answered.

"Why don't Addison and I go into the kitchen and mix the drinks…and you guys can stay out here and talk," Bizzy offered.

"Fine by me," Archer said, and Derek and The Captain nodded in agreement, as Addison and Bizzy made their way into the kitchen.

"So do you want to make the martini or the gin and tonic?" Addison asked her mother once they had reached the kitchen.

"I want to talk to you about your daughter's name," Bizzy said, completely ignoring Addison's question.

"What about her name?" Addison asked warily. "We've been calling her Willa for five months now. We're not changing it."

"No, I like the name Willa," Bizzy approved. "I'm actually surprised by how well you and Derek did with that name. To be honest, I was expecting you to give her a boring or overused name…you know, because Derek and his siblings don't exactly have unique names…although I guess Amelia's a good name. But that's not the point. Willa is a good name. The women in my charities like it as well."

"Then what's the problem?" Addison asked, rolling her eyes at her mother's shallowness.

"It's her last name," Bizzy said simply. "Why wouldn't you pass on the Forbes Montgomery name?"

"Because her father's last name is Shepherd," Addison answered tersely. "And, after tomorrow, mine will be too."

"But you're still keeping Forbes Montgomery," Bizzy pointed out.

"I am," Addison nodded. "But Willa doesn't need to have a million names like I do."

"Do you realize that Forbes Montgomery means something in many circles?" Bizzy asked. "Do you realize how many doors you're closing on your daughter by not making her a Forbes Montgomery? Forbes Montgomerys have their pick of prestigious nursery schools, private schools, and elite colleges. Forbes Montgomerys belong to yacht clubs and are offered memberships to many exclusive societies. Don't you want what's best for Willa?"

"Yes, of course I want what's best for my daughter," Addison insisted. "Although I'm not sure if her attending some prestigious nursery school or belonging to a yacht club is what's best for her," Addison added dryly. "But, Bizzy, even if Derek and I _do_ decide to send Willa to a prestigious nursery school…which I'm not saying we're necessarily going to do…I don't want her to get in based on her last name. And, right now, the last thing I want to think about is my five-month-old going away to college, but when the time does come, I want Willa to get into a school based on her own achievements, not based off the benefits and privileges that come with being a Forbes Montgomery."

"Well, I was just thinking about Willa," Bizzy defended.

"I know you were," Addison nodded, her voice softening. "And I appreciate it." She really did. Because, while, on the surface, Bizzy's comments about Willa's last name seemed elitist and superficial (and, in many ways, were), Addison also understood that this was Bizzy's way of showing that she cared. Sure, Addison could think of a million other ways that she wished her mother could go about showing that she cared about her granddaughter, but Addison also knew that Bizzy wasn't a warm and loving woman, so she'd settle for this.

Addison met her mother's eyes and smiled. "Thanks, Bizzy."

"For what?" Bizzy asked in confusion.

"For thinking about Willa. For telling your friends about her."

"My friends think that you and Derek already got remarried," Bizzy said matter-of-factly. "They don't know the whole story, and I don't plan on telling them."

"I figured as much," Addison chuckled. "Still, you care. And I appreciate it."

Bizzy shifted uncomfortably. "Since we seem to be having a moment," she began, as she reached into her purse, and pulled out a jewelry box, "I thought, I thought you might like to wear this tomorrow."

Addison didn't even need to open the box to know what was inside. "The Bulgari," she smiled, as she opened the jewelry box and looked down at the necklace she had wanted since she was four. "Thank you, Bizzy."

"You're welcome," Bizzy nodded. "Now I just need you to do something for me."

"Okay," Addison trailed off hesitantly.

"I need you to make sure that we get a good picture of Willa tomorrow."

"Okay. Why?"

Bizzy let out an exasperated sigh. "It seems as though everyone I know is becoming a grandmother, right now. Lunches with friends are turning into let's talk about our grandchildren sessions, and it's getting to be more than I can handle. The pictures of toothless babies, the stories that nobody finds funny or adorable, the-"

"So why do you want a picture of Willa then?"

"Have you ever heard the phrase, 'if you can't beat 'em, join 'em?" Bizzy asked.

"I have," Addison nodded. "So, wait, you're joining them?"

"In a way," Bizzy answered. "But Archer also had a point when he said that Willa really is a cute baby…much cuter than any of my friends' grandchildren. And you know I would never just say that. So I figure if I'm going to join my friends in this grandchildren craze that they all seem to be going through, I might as well beat them while I'm at it."

Addison was about to respond, but she was cut off by Archer; "Hey, Bizzy…Addison," he called out from the living room. "What's the hold up? Are you distilling the alcohol yourselves or something?"

"We'll be there in a minute, Archer," Addison answered, rolling her eyes.

"Well, hurry up," Archer insisted. "I swear, Willa's gonna be old enough to drink with us by the time you get in here with our drinks."

"Don't even joke about that," Derek told his soon-to-be brother-in-law. He already felt like Willa was growing up too quickly, and the thought of his five-month-old being old enough to drink, one day, was a frightening one.

"Scary shit, huh?" Archer asked, reading Derek's mind.

"Like you don't even know," Derek answered, instinctively holding his daughter closer.

"Well, just you wait," The Captain chuckled; "tomorrow may be your wedding day, but it's gonna be Willa's wedding day before you know it…that's how it felt with Addison."

Derek shook his head, as if refusing to even entertain the thought. "Let's just focus on my wedding."

xxxxx

It was a beautiful wedding. Simple, quick, everything that their first wedding wasn't –

and exactly what Derek and Addison wanted this time around. The ceremony had ended, and Derek and Addison were at the Archfield, with their family and friends, enjoying their wedding reception – a low-key champagne brunch.

Derek looked around the banquet hall and smiled – everyone appeared to be having a good time. Bizzy and The Captain seemed pleased with the alcohol selection; Archer had hit it off with Alex and Izzie and was deep in conversation with them; and his mother, true to her word, was getting to know her newest grandchild, who was being held by Mark. Mark had quickly become a big fan of Willa's, and it wasn't surprising to find him in the hospital daycare center in between surgeries or during his lunch break, spending time with his niece.

Derek looked over to where Addison was standing, talking to Amelia, and smiled widely as he made his way over to them. "Sorry to interrupt," he said, flashing Addison a warm smile, "but I was kind of hoping to dance with my wife."

"Derek," Addison laughed. "This is a brunch…not exactly a dancing affair."

Derek shrugged. "We're in a banquet hall, and there's a dance floor…and music. And we are the bride and groom, so it's not like our guests can really judge us for dancing."

"Well, I guess I can't really say no that that type of reasoning," Addison chuckled, as she and Derek made their way to the dance floor to share their first dance as husband and wife.

_Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick  
And think of you.  
Caught up in circles, confusion  
Is nothing new.  
Flashback, warm nights;  
Almost left behind.  
Suitcases of memories,  
Time after  
_

_Sometimes, you picture me;  
I'm walking too far ahead.  
You're calling to me; I can't hear  
What you've said.  
Then you say go slow,  
I fall behind.  
The second hand unwinds. _

Mark smiled as he watched Derek and Addison, and turned to Willa, who was still in his arms. "Look at your parents," he chuckled. "They're the only ones out there dancing. I guess we can forgive them since it _is_ their wedding day, but we've got to tell them to be less embarrassing in the future, don't you think?" He looked at his niece and smiled. "You know, Willa, your mom and dad…they're good people…great parents. But they can both be worriers, and if you're anything like your mom, which I think you going to be, you're gonna be a bit of a trouble maker. So, here's the deal. You can always come to me. No matter how bad of a situation you're in or how angry your parents are at you…you can come to your Uncle Mark. No questions asked. No judgments. What do you say?" he asked, looking at Willa. "Hmm, you can't talk yet, but I'll take that smile as a yes," he laughed, cuddling his niece close. "Looks like we've got ourselves a deal."

_If you're lost, you can look, and you will find me  
Time after time.  
If you fall, I will catch you; I'll be waiting  
Time after time._

_If you're lost, you can look, and you will find me_  
_Time after time._  
_If you fall, I will catch you, I'll be waiting_  
_Time after time._

"You know, a year and a half ago, I never thought I'd be here," Addison admitted. "You know, remarried to you, with a daughter. Who would have thought that a name mix up could have led to all this."

"You don't think that this would have happened if we hadn't shared that hotel room?" Derek asked. He liked to think it still would have.

"I don't know," Addison confessed. "But I'm glad it did."

"Me too," Derek agreed, leaning in and kissing her softly. "I love you Addison."

"I love you too, Derek."

"So," Derek smirked. "How does it feel to be Dr. Addison Shepherd?"

"I've always been Dr. Addison Shepherd," Addison reminded her husband.

"Right," Derek laughed. "Well, how does feel to be Mrs. Addison Shepherd?"

Addison smiled. "Mrs. Addison Shepherd," she repeated. "I like the sound of that."

"Yeah," Derek agreed, leaning in and kissing her again. "I do too."


	19. Chapter 19

Thank you so much for all of your kind feedback on this story! I love hearing what you think! I loved writing this story, and I hope you liked reading it as much as I liked writing it. I'm really going to miss it! I hope you like this last chapter. And thank you again for all of your support – it's been a fun ride!

* * *

Derek opened the door of his house to the sound of Christmas music. Christmas was only a week away, and he and Addison were in full-blown Christmas mode.

He walked into the living room, and couldn't help smiling. Everything about it screamed Christmas – from the well-decorated Christmas tree in the corner of the room, to the crackling the flames in the electric fireplace, to the gingerbread-scented candles that Addison was burning to give the house a Chrismassy smell.

He looked above the fireplace, where their Christmas stockings were hanging. And as he read the names on the stockings – _Derek, Addison, Willa_ – he couldn't help but marvel at how perfect the names looked together – as if they belonged together.

"Hey," he smiled, as he walked into the kitchen to join his wife and his seven-month-old daughter. Addison was at the table filling out Christmas cards, and Willa was sitting next to her, in her highchair, gurgling happily.

Addison looked up from the stack of Christmas cards in front of her and smiled. "Hey. I didn't hear you come in."

"You probably couldn't hear me over the Christmas music," Derek chuckled, bending down to kiss Addison softly.

"Yeah, well, what's Christmas without a little Christmas music?" Addison laughed. "Besides, I'm trying to get Willa in the Christmas spirit."

Derek chuckled as he lifted Willa out of her highchair, and gently began swaying with her to the Christmas music, playing in the background. "And how's that going?" he asked Addison.

Addison shrugged. "Better than her trip to the mall to visit Santa."

Derek laughed. Operation: Make Willa Love Christmas had encountered a few speed bumps early on. One of Addison and Derek's many Christmas traditions was sending out Christmas cards to their family and friends and, this year, they agreed that Willa sitting on Santa's lap would make the perfect Christmas card. How very wrong they were. They took their daughter to the mall to sit on Santa's lap, determined to get the perfect picture, but Willa broke out into hysterics the moment that Addison handed her over to Santa. Everyone did their best to try to calm Willa down, but she just continued to cry unhappily. Finally, after several minutes of uncontrollable screaming and crying, the photographer gave up and snapped a photo of a very scared, very unhappy looking Willa with a very stressed out looking Santa. Of course, the moment that Santa gave Willa back to her mother, the tears and screaming stopped, and she returned to being the calm, good-natured baby that she usually was.

Addison and Derek apologized profusely for the scene that their six-and-half-month-old had created, giving Santa a generous tip, and even going so far as to buy a package of the photographs. They knew that they wouldn't be able to use them as holiday cards, but they had to admit, the picture of Willa throwing a tantrum on Santa's lap was pretty hilarious. They gave copies of the picture to Mark, Alex, Izzie, and Callie; and Mark and Alex even ended up hanging the picture up in their respective office and locker, claiming that it was always good for a laugh. And Addison and Derek couldn't resist sending a copy of the picture to Archer, figuring that he'd probably appreciate it more than anyone.

After the disaster at the mall, they decided to give getting a picture of Willa on Santa's lap another shot; and although the setup was different this time, the outcome was still pretty much the same.

"_Thanks so much for doing this, Mark," Addison smiled, as Mark walked through the front door of her and Derek's house, dressed in a Santa costume._

"_Please, Willa's my little buddy; I'm happy to help," Mark grinned. "Although I don't know why you and Derek don't just send out the picture from the mall…nothing says 'Merry Christmas' like a baby crying on Santa's lap."_

"_Could you imagine what Bizzy would say if we sent that?" Addison countered._

_Mark thought about it for a moment. "Even more reason to send it," he smirked._

"_Oh, shut it," Addison laughed, playfully hitting Mark's bicep. "Anyway, Derek and Willa are in the living room with Izzie and Alex, and –"_

"_Izzie and Alex are here?" Mark cut in. "Wow, I didn't realize that this photo shoot was such a big deal."_

"_It's not," Addison said. "But Izzie's a much better photographer than Derek and I are, and she also loves Christmas, so she volunteered to come over and take pictures. Oh, and on top of that, she made Christmas cookies, and they're to die for."_

"_And Karev?" Mark asked._

"_He offered to help Izzie out," Addison explained. "But, secretly, I think he's here because he's hoping that Willa's gonna give you the same treatment that she gave that poor Santa at the mall."_

"_You should have made him dress up like an elf," Mark muttered dryly, as he and Addison made their way into the living room. "Ho! Ho! Ho!" Mark exclaimed, as he and Addison joined the others. "And I'm not just talking about the women I saw Karev having drinks with, last night," he smirked._

"_Hey," Izzie snapped, jamming a hand on her hip, "Alex was drinking with me, Meredith, and Cristina, last night. I refuse to work with you if you're going to be like this."_

_Mark chuckled at the blonde's reaction, but Izzie's death-glare made him think better of coming back with a smart-ass retort. "Fine, I'll be nice," he promised. "So, where do you want me?"_

"_I was thinking we could start by getting a couple of shots of Willa sitting on your lap, on the couch," Izzie said, gesturing towards Addison and Derek's black leather couch._

"_Okay," Mark nodded, sitting down on the couch._

"_Uh, Alex," Izzie said, trying to get her friend's attention. "This picture doesn't exactly work without Willa in it. You need to give her up."_

_Alex looked down at the baby in his arms and let out a fake dramatic sigh. "Fine," he conceded, handing Willa over to Izzie, so that she could place Willa in Mark's lap._

_Bad move. As soon as Izzie handed Willa over to Mark, the little girl burst into hysterics, and began flailing around unhappily._

"_Hey, hey, hey," Mark said soothingly, trying to calm his niece down. "It's okay. It's just me, Little Buddy. We're friends, remember? We hang out all the time. Remember yesterday, when we were hanging out in my office, and you were helping me decide which new nose we should give to my patient? Remember that, Willa?"_

_Willa looked up at Mark, recognizing the familiar voice. But hearing that voice come out of an unfamiliar and strange-looking man did little to comfort her, so she continued to cry with a renewed sense of vigor. Mark looked up at Derek and Addison and shrugged helplessly. "I think she's afraid of Santa."_

"_Alex, grab Willa," Izzie instructed._

_Alex did as he was told, and Izzie moved over towards where Mark was sitting. She gave the plastic surgeon a warning look; "I'm warning you now, if you pinch my ass or do anything inappropriate, I can't be held responsible for what I do to you." Then she turned her attention to Willa. "Hey, Willa, look, Santa isn't scary," she said soothingly, as she sat down on Mark's lap, a big smile plastered on her face. "See, nothing to be afraid of. Okay, you try now."_

_Their second attempt failed just as miserably as their first, and as Willa continued to cry, Derek, Addison, and Mark couldn't help laughing at the irony that Derek and Addison – who loved Christmas more than any other holiday – had a daughter who was deathly afraid of Santa._

_After a few more minutes of unsuccessfully trying to get Willa to calm down, Addison decided to call it. The sound of her daughter's cries was breaking her heart, and she figured that there really wasn't any harm in waiting until next year for Willa to conquer her fear of Santa._

"_Okay, Willa," Addison said softly, as she accepted her screaming baby from Mark. She gave Mark an apologetic smile, and turned her attention back to her daughter, who was still crying hysterically. "It's okay," she said softly, trying to soothe Willa. "It's okay," she repeated, rubbing Willa's tiny back reassuringly and pressing a gentle kiss to her daughter's temple._

"_You know," Mark reflected, moving over to where Izzie was standing, and gesturing towards Addison and Willa, "that's a pretty picture- perfect shot, right there."_

"_It kind of is," Alex agreed. "Nice thinking, Santa. All that's missing is-"_

"_Derek," Izzie called out. "Get in there."_

_Nobody had to tell Derek twice to join his wife and daughter. And as Derek and Addison continued to comfort Willa, whose wails had subsided into soft whimpers, Izzie snapped away on her camera._

"_Got it," Izzie declared triumphantly, after a few minutes of picture taking; and Mark and Alex both leaned in to get a closer look at the picture that Izzie had just taken._

"_Yeah," Mark nodded, as a wide smile spread across his face. "That's definitely the one."_

xxxxx

"I love that picture of us," Derek smiled, as he continued to sway slowly with Willa.

Addison looked down at the picture in front of her and smiled. "I like it too," she agreed. Truth be told, it was an undeniably adorable picture; Izzie had truly captured a perfect moment between the Shepherd family. Addison was holding Willa, and the baby's pale blue-green eyes were looking straight into the camera, while Addison pressed a gentle kiss to Willa's temple. Derek, who was standing on Willa's other side, was smiling at the sight of his wife and daughter; one of his hands rested on Willa's tiny back, and the other arm was wrapped around Addison's waist, drawing his family in closer, as he looked at his wife and daughter adoringly.

"You know," Derek began, as he studied the picture more closely, "I think this might be my favorite photo of us ever."

"Ever?" Addison asked, raising an eyebrow coyly. "You realize we have a lot of really good pictures."

"We do," Derek agreed. "But I like the story behind this one. This wasn't the picture we had originally set out to take. We had other plans. But, somehow, this picture happened, and I think it's better than anything we could have ever planned for."

A small smile spread across Addison's face. "I think it just became my favorite picture too," she admitted.

Derek bent down, and kissed his wife softly. "I love you, Addison," he smiled.

"I love you too, Derek."

Derek smiled and turned his attention to his daughter. "And we both love you, Willa," he cooed, kissing his daughter gently on the forehead, as he continued to sway with her to the Christmas music playing in the background. He looked at Addison and chuckled; "I think Willa, here, is still having a little trouble getting into the Christmas spirit," he laughed. "You should come dance with us. I think it might help."

"Okay," Addison agreed. "I just have one last card to fill out."

Derek nodded, as he watched his wife personalize the Christmas card with the picture of him, her, and their daughter on it. And even though the message she wrote was a simple one, it still made his heart swell as he watched her write it: _Merry Christmas! Love, The Shepherds._

_xxxxx_


End file.
